Minimalist poet, minimalist lifestyle

Robin Hood's Bay, near Whitby.
Triangle, near Halifax.
Penistone, near Barnsley.
Jump, near Barnsley.
Wham, Yorkshire Dales.
Land of Nod, East Riding.
Land of Green Ginger, near Hull [Kingston-upon-Hull] city centre.
Kettlesing Bottom, near Harrogate.

RIDING A NIGHTMARE

Your lips open to my hands
You trouble me each morning
You have a voice when I'm asleep.

In furthest jurisdiction;
At the water's edge
Uncertainty
Bathes in the shadows.

(Chimera, number three)

I lost my broadband service last night due to my server being down. I don't know anything about the technicalities, but it involved my making several long and complicated calls to a help line number. After four months online now this is the first problem I've had, so I can't really complain, can I? I've now noticed though that the administrators of the site have supposedly sent me a confirmation email that I haven't received yet. I wonder if it relates to my brief loss of broadband service; but then, how would they know?

Following on from an earlier list of Yorkshire toponyms I thought I'd now expand it to include the rest of northern England.

Manchester tart
Eccles cake
Lancashire cheese
Cheshire cheese
Kendal mint cake

These, the only ones I can think of, are obviously all food items.

Most of my Google alerts for Doncaster seem to be on the following subjects;

Doncaster Rovers Football Club
Train services and railway engineering
Doncaster, Victoria, Australia

I'm not particularly interested in any of them.

WALKING HOME

Evening rush hour;
More buses entering town
Than leaving.

I was in the frozen food shop this morning looking in the cakes section when my attention was naturally drawn towards a box with the words 'slagroom taarte' written on it. Immediately I Anglicised it to 'slag room tart' and all sorts of interesting images came to mind.

I recognised the language as Dutch and picked up the box expecting to find an English translation somewhere, but unusually, there wasn't one. I had to check on the net when I got home; the English tranlation is 'whipped cream tart', still an interesting enough phrase.

I always find it ironic that in English we use the phrase 'speaking Double Dutch' to describe the act of someone speaking an unintelligible language, when Dutch itself (after the Frisian dialects) is the second most similar language to our own. Of course, the origin of this phrase has a distant historical cause; something to do with the two countries' common maritime history and rivalry I should think.

I've finally got my webcam (and microphone) installed, and it wasn't easy. My friend had to do it because I haven't got a clue. I'm still having a few problems with it, so it might require a follow-up visit. I have had it working though, and it's a lot more convenient than typing.

GENERATIONS

Miles pass out here;
Rust-dead rockets
All pointing
In the same direction.

SO FAR

Placed just out of reach
On his desk:
Effigies of all his enemies,
Past, present and future.

...happened yesterday. The telephone rang and when I picked up the receiver, it continued ringing. I've never had this happen before. No connection was made, but the next time someone called it was fine...an employee at an Indian call centre trying to sell me some financial service that I neither need nor want.

RECYCLING POLICY

Death in a few words
Carved into fine marble.

During the afterlife
The grass cut
Twice a month.

-----

MNEMONIC
ON CHANGING THE CLOCKS

Spring forward,
Fall back.

What's the point?
Just stay where you are
And hand me
The remote control.

----

TRANSATLANTIC FORECAST

A red squirrel today,
A grey squirrel tomorrow:
And rain, all day,
Every day for the rest
Of the bleeding week.
-----

SYSTEMATIC

Snow falling outside:
On a desk in the study
Coffee in a tea cup
And a library book
Recently overdue.

£10 on the Premium Bonds
Poetry competition (no prize money)
A pot plant in a raffle

I rarely enter competitions or raffles though.

SIGN OF THE TIMES

Even in the
South East,
Satellite dishes
Point towards
The south east.

CIVIS ROMANVS SVM

When in Rome
Do as the Romans do;
One and one
Makes eleven.

COMMERCIAL DECISION

In the shops
The January sales
Didn't start
Until December
Last year.

CIVILISATION

Civilisation
Began with
The first
Archaeologists.

STRAIGHT RULE

The shortest
Distance between
Two points is
Always an argument.

WE ARE NOT ALONE

They strip naked,
Stand in a circle
And wait;
For three thousand years.

Furthest point I've travelled in all four directions.

North...Edinburgh, Scotland: I wasn't too impressed at the time (aged 13).

South...Cambrils, south of Barcelona; which is probably my favourite city that I've visited.

East...somewhere east of Salzburg: a beautiful baroque city.

West...only as far as Plymouth or Tenby (maybe I should check an atlas).

Pine needles
Tar/bitumen
The smell of newly purchased electrical appliances

NEW LEAF
No clever verse
For this submission;
Only the sting of
Leather on naked flesh.

ADMIT IT
I touch you sometimes
A few seconds out of synch
With the rest of the world.

Passing you in the street;
The solutions to crossword puzzles
Written on your face.
Later, when switching channels,
Behind closed curtains
They don't see what I see.

ENIGMA
Last night
I put on my
New pair of shoes
To walk to the bin
To dump my old pair.

INDIVIDUAL REJECTION SLIP
The postman always looks back.
All the bricks are falling down.
The reviewer is puzzled by my biography.

...and it's not even all that cold; but it has been snowing in other parts of the country: not a lot though, just a few inches. However, civil society seems to be grinding to a halt again; no public transport running, schools closed and mail not being delivered.

It's pathetic; there's just no other word for it. I'm appalled.

HEADACHE

War is always noisy,
But peace only speaks
When it's spoken to.

Do I need to say any more?

REPRESENTATIVE OF THE PEOPLE

A speck of dust,
A single word,
A spacecraft
Orbiting my heart.

At warped speed
Sufficing malice;
A hole punched
In the doctor's chart.

I'm very good at writing formal letters; persuasive letters in particular. During the last three years I've successfully applied for a £500 poetry bursary and a £300 furniture grant from the council.

It's a pity that I can't use this skill in the work place environment. Of course, I was able to raise tens of thousands of Pounds for charity when I was doing voluntary work by writing effective funding bids.

SORE THROAT

The settle just beginning
With an extra ice-cream
And an empty seat.

With views of the high street,
The flavour of lipstick matched
And still water delivered
By the Fire Brigade.

A flimsy hairstyle
Inside and out,
The last unaided
Deep sleep bout.

---

OUR TIME?

As the world spins and orbits:

Standing here
Holding hands
And looking deep
Into each other's eyes.

---

SPRING BLOSSOM

First, the bath,
And then the
Shampoo and conditioner;
And finally, the rinse.

Because I don't have a job or a relationship or any family ties or commitments, most people think I am totally free, without a care in the world. This is not how I want to live my life though: certainly I've got a lot of free time, but I'm not free,if freedom is the same as having a choice about my life and its progression and outcomes.

When I get up in the morning there's no-one in bed next to me so I don't have the option to choose how to behave towards that person; to be nice or petty, tell her I love her or decide if I want us to split up and never see her again. Since I'm unemployed I can't decide to phone in sick for work, be pleasant to my boss and colleagues or behave like a total pratt and get sacked. I can't resign or try for promotion.

So, what is freedom?

Radio Times
National Geographic
The Geographical Magazine
Newsweek
Time Magazine
Fortean Times

SERVICE

His dash-board was empty
So he came to a full-stop
Just short of the secondhand garage.

On his car radio
It was free airtime
For his well punctuated
Tyres and tested.

---

BODY LANGUAGE

Speaking on the telephone
She wasn't sure whether
He'd breathed merely a colon
Or extended her a full-stop.

Science Extrapolation
Languages of the World
Local TV News and Features for Yorkshire
Geopolitics
Dissenting Opinions
Military History
Forteana

NEW LEAF
No clever verse
For this submission;
Only the sting of
Leather on naked flesh.

ADMIT IT
I touch you sometimes
A few seconds out of synch
With the rest of the world.

Passing you in the street;
The solutions to crossword puzzles
Written on your face.
Later, when switching channels,
Behind closed curtains
They don't see what I see.

ENIGMA
Last night
I put on my
New pair of shoes
To walk to the bin
To dump my old pair.

INDIVIDUAL REJECTION SLIP
The postman always looks back.
All the bricks are falling down.
The reviewer is puzzled by my biography.

.

I've just been checking my emails and found ninety nine junk emails in my inbox; apparently all from the same source. Messages inviting me to 'confirm' my 'registration' details. Each one of them probably with something nasty lurking in an attachment. Of course, I declined the opportunity to open the attachment; instead I just had to individually tick the box to delete each one. I wonder if there's an easier way of deleting the entire contents of my junk email inbox from my Hotmail account.

PICKLE

It's raining again:
It appears my parasol
Is getting wet.

HABIT

I come here
Nearly every day;
Sometimes
The spinning
Of the Earth
Makes me dizzy.

CARESS

Last night
I washed
My hands
In your hair,
Moonlight
Lathering
Like soap.

When I was a Poll Tax rebel I lived in Thurnscoe, a pit village with a Rotherham postal address and telephone number, yet I had to pay my bill to Barnsley Metropolitan Borough Council. I objected to this, claiming that I lived in Rotherham and would only pay my Poll Tax to Rotherham, and refused to respond to all the bills sent from Barnsley. Naturally I was prosecuted and had to appear in court. However, because of the unique nature of my case I applied for political asylum to a foreign power claiming political persecution by representatives of Her Majesty's Government. Apparently (I found this out somewhat later) the local consul from the country concerned demanded written confirmation that I would not be jailed; otherwise I would have become the first UK citizen to successfully claim political asylum.

When I was licensee for Dearne Radio I was subject to the provisions of the Treason Act which had the ultimate sanction of capital punishment at the time.

Because of an administrative error, for ten years I was a Hong Kong registered UK Overseas Citizen; even though I've never been there and have no family connections with the former colony.

I was briefly the leader of a local political party which I founded. We didn't get any councillors elected though.

Not surprisingly, on two occasions my photograph and an accompanying article have appeared on the front page of the local newspaper.

Natural Born Killers - very confusing and an untidy mess.

Reservoir Dogs - just boring.

K-PAX - Excellent; covering the areas of sci-fi, religion, mental illness and society and the individual. Very humorous and asks all the right questions.

WASHROOM

Next to the mirror:
A break-glass hammer
For emergency use only.

----------------------------------

COSMETIC SURGERY

Last week you had a nose job
But then you blew it
And I ejaculated.

CAVEAT EMPTOR

The small print
Gets smaller
And smaller;
And then you die.

Yes...apple pie with cheese; no...apple pie with custard.

Yes...weetabix with butter; no...weetabix with milk.

SPILLAGE

Autumn tea dance:
Outside, on the terrace
The moon cast
In an empty cup.

SOMETIMES

In the bingo hall;
All the players
Facing towards Mecca.

Employment training or placements I've been sent on by the Jobcentre.

Recently, working for the boating and education charity at Thorne. I learned enough about computers for me to get started on the internet and passed my basic boating qualifications.

Community Programme 1986-87. Mobile Information Auxiliary with Doncaster Metropolitan Borough Council. Based in a caravan which was towed to various venues. In the winter it was too cold and the fumes from the gas heater were unpleasant, so we were transferred to a youth club and spent most of the time playing pool.

A personal development programme at Rotherham with a week of outward-bound activities in the Peak District. I really enjoyed this.

So, the government is thinking of raising the retirement age to sixty seven and compelling people to save more for their old age. Don't they realise how little some people are earning?

Planning for my pension provision is something I don't have to worry about; although the basic state pension in this country is low, it's still significantly higher than Jobseeker's Allowance.

Listening to international short wave radio stations (superseded by internet radio).

Hiking on the moors (no available transport, and my knees probably aren't up to it any more).

Watching non-league football (I can no longer afford the cost).

IDENTITY PARADE

The days lined up
In the sportshall;
Hot to cold,
Good to bad.

As I remember
From school,
Bank holidays
Would never be picked
For this team.

Learnt to drive.

Got married (or even engaged).

Had children.

Been employed.

Fallen in love (or even have anyone say "I love you" to me).

Travelled in an aeroplane.

BILINGUAL FORMS

Walking down the stairs
From the third floor
After signing on
I'm humming a tune…
It could be 'Men of Harlech'
Or it could be 'Bread of Heaven'.

I am not Welsh.

Age 2: Broken left thigh - slipped on wet oilcloth in kitchen.

Age 12: Severe bruising and lacerations to two fingers on left hand - repairing younger sister's bike as she decided to attempt to ride it.

Age 13: Cycle crash - several teeth lost.

Age 25: Fall whilst hiking - twisted and sprained left ankle.

Fortunately, nothing too serious or pernanent.

RETURN TRIP

She gets off
With half a dozen
Other people
As I pass her
Walking home
In the opposite direction.

I notice her
As she doesn't notice me;
A few yards later
Jangling keys in my pocket
I start reading
The road signs all over again.

I've noticed that quite a few bloggers regularly change their banners and profile photos. I don't really know why people need to do this, maybe it's something about human nature that I don't understand; this constant need for variety and change. Mind you, it's not really an option for me; I've only got five pictures to upload, and they're all pretty similar.

LOST AND FOUND

A few minutes' quiet reflection
At the graveside of a close friend
On the first anniversary of her suicide.

Two other absent friends
Share a birthday today,
They'll both be drunk tonight
But won't know why.

Two other friends
Celebrate their birthdays
Later this week.

- Sometimes, it's so difficult
Just thinking of the words
To write on a card.

In Parliament MPs have recently been debating allowing 24 hours drinking in bars and pubs. Personally, I believe that in the long run relaxing the UK licensing laws would help in reducing the problem of binge drinking and drunken violence on the streets. Of course it will be pretty pointless unless we have 24 hour public transport services...and that will never happen.

1...The electric heater in my living room is rattling a lot.

2...My cooker (or maybe my kitchen floor) isn't quite level and so I can't fill pans too near to full.

3...The smoke alarms in the hallway and on the landing are far too sensitive and will go off if I just even open the kitchen door whilst cooking.

HAIKU

coffee in a paper cup,
reading a library book online

HAIKU

late for work again,
needing an excuse
- the Town Hall clock
framed by scaffolding

HAIKU

illicit tryst:
pillow talk echoing
around the room

Since I moved to Doncaster the price of the cheapest tin of baked beans has increased from 7p to 16p, the cost of electricity has recently increased by 11% and bus fares have gone up on four separate occasions just this year. Yet, inflation is supposedly only 2.3%: if you're on a low, fixed income it isn't though.

MAINLINE BLUES

Rooftop cranes strain for the juiciest clouds;
I hear a train, not stopping, just passing.

Northbound and southbound
Either direction, sunshine or showers,
Stopping at all stations.

In both London and Edinburgh
An hour barters sixty minutes
And the distribution of bargains
Has no beginning nor end.

I have an interest in both language and maps and so thought I'd combine the two by thinking of a list of Yorkshire toponyms used in English.

Yorkshire pudding
Scarborough warning
York stone
Barnsley chop
Bramley apples
Pomfret/Pontefract cakes
Yorkshire terrier
Whitby jet
Wensleydale (cheese)

COMPUTER CLASS

I inherited
My father's watch,
It's now nearly
Thirty years
Since the factory closed.

COLD CALL

Dark figures blocking the stairs
Straightening for their call
Backstage and muscle moved.

Rhythms creeping under doors
Marching to a tight applause;
Heads at rest in easy lines.

Well, a bit of drama yesterday afternoon; we had an armed police raid on the house of a suspected Islamic terrorist living in a neighbouring street.

I was returning home after signing on at the DSS and was stopped by an officer and asked to confirm my identity and account for my movements.

I watched the local TV news reports last night and there was no mention of the incident; I've been told a similar thing happened in Wakefield a few weeks ago and that wasn't reported either. I tried typing the relevant words into internet search engines, but couldn't find any mention of it.

I went to the cash dispenser this morning wanting to withdraw £10 from my account. Instead I ended up withdrawing £30 because I pressed the wrong button by mistake. I'm over six foot tall and the line of sight angle means that the buttons don't properly align with the instructions on the screen. What I can't understand though is; why isn't it the £20 button that's positioned next to the £10 button in order to minimise any mistakes?

I haven't needed to visit the library.

I watch a lot less TV.

I'm now regularly in contact with a few more people.

I need to buy a new, more comfortable chair for when I'm using the computer.

GOD FORSAKEN

The pot calling the kettle black,
Rain falling onto a rubbish-scared street.

Down backbroken alleyways
An evangelical congregation of bins
To be emptied in the morning.

In the minutes between hours
Cats alliterate on the most
Precocious of fences.

Touché. Ole. Always and forever.

The government is looking at relaxing the Sunday Trading Laws again. About time too I say; in fact I'd like to see them totally abolished. You can't impose religion on people and shouldn't even be trying to. Nobody should be compelled to work on a Sunday, but why not let the rest of us get on with working or shopping?

CHANNEL HOPPING

For some of us
Every day is black and white,
- The licence fee is much cheaper.

I walk past the shop
Of the T.V. repairman
Who will colour disenable your set
And give you back the diode he's removed
And place a sticker on the set in a prominent position.

Searching for a better reception
Of the world's events
With an old friend:
- Tea and sympathy
On every channel.

I was watching an Inspector Morse DVD at a friend's house last night when Lewis commented to Morse that the leading female character had served a one year's probation for being drunk and disorderly as a teenager. I then immediately remarked that in the film we had watched earlier the main female character had also served a year's probation for the very same reason.

At this moment my friend got up and went to the hallway to collect the cordless phone in order to make a call to Sharon, a mutual friend. As he was halfway through the process of dialling her number, his mobile rang. It was Sharon. Merely a coincidence?

It's the middle of November and we still haven't had any frost yet. In my garden the marigolds, hollyhocks and fuchsia are still in bloom and my bulbs are all sprouting to quite a height; no buds yet though. I'm also busy indoors with the fly spray; hopefully the first cold snap will kill off the insects.

LANGUAGE CLASS

I'm not really sure
Which of my neighbours
Is the nearest native
Speaker of English.

One fact not lost in any translation:
- We've all got back gardens
Yet none of us understands Latin.

Terms/concepts I have recently encountered whilst surfing the web...you might like to have a guess as to their meaning.

anal bleaching
chess boxing
tag cloud

THERE ARE DAYS

Standing in front
You cannot say;
Grey clouds litter
The cluttered floor.

At the front door
An aeroplane fleas overheard:
You look down at me,
As I stand in front of you
A child lets go.

HAIKU

hanging on the horizon
crowing bloody fingertips
Luna, the best of the dawn

Clothes and fashion
Home decoration & D.I.Y.
Children
Cars

ORDER OF SERVICE

Naturally, Lincolnshire Road Car
Buses run the service to Lincoln.

Arriva Yorkshire buses go
To Leeds and Selby
(Change for York; exact change, please.)

Yorkshire Traction serves
Wakefield and Barnsley,
And Sheffield and Rotherham
Are reached using Mainline
(Although it's much quicker by train.)

There are also at least
Three other bus operators
In Doncaster that I can think of.

Walking past the bus station
I catch an untimetabled realisation;
- All the staff working
At the United Nations Headquarters
In New York claim generous expenses.

If they were to be re-located to Doncaster,
Searching council estates and pit villages
Looking for banned vowels
And unexploded consonants,
They'd each need a handful
Of different bus passes.

The first Christmas decorations and lights have gone up in a shopping centre here in Doncaster. At my house there certainly won't be any seasonal decoration...just a few cards on the mantelpiece.

EACH DAY

another iris
over a silvered stream,
long white scarves swirling

plumbed down to bleached grass
-I wish I could paint

TWO HEMISPHERES

Late September dawn
I stand in the calm
Clothed in autumn's pale ghost
Shades of past years returning.

I've recently been in contact with an old school friend who somehow managed to trace me online. We've now started Instant Messaging and I've discovered that he's already on his third marriage and is permanently disabled with angina.

This is an example of me utilising the internet in a positive way and I feel good about it.

CUT TO THE CHASE

Middle-aged, middle-of-the-road women wearing clipboards;
A younger woman and an older man touting for custom.
"Have you had an accident recently that wasn't your fault?"

- No win. No fee. -

No-one notices as I bend down
And pick up a dropped penny.

I visited the cemetery yesterday with a couple of friends; we were visiting the grave of a close mutual friend who committed suicide exactly two years ago.

Personally, I really miss her, she was very good at introducing me to new people and ideas, things that I'm not very good at on my own.

LONG WAY HOME

In a delta dump
Of nanoseconds
Clear of stellar dust
In the pull of our ship
The gravity winds of Saturn
A spilled background
To your latest painting.

WISHING WELL

Take this clock;
Grab the hands
-I didn't give a damn,
Night and day
Each curbed by your
Bony fingers.

1...I have realised that experience and social contacts will always prevail over academic or even vocational education and training.

2...Parliamentary democracy has personally failed me and so I am open to persuasion as to alternative forms of government.

3...Doing nothing and being lazy is much more difficult than being busy, stimulated, challenged or creative.

4...Having and needing a job is not only about the money.

I've been rather busy for the last few days posting off my recently written poems to various magazines; it's cost me £4 in postage. I doubt if I'll get any responses before the new year, but I'm confident that quite a few will end up being published.

HAIKU

a few days off;
when I think of the future
I've already been there

HAIKU

missing you already,
looking at the telephone
and listening to the rain

HAIKU

in the old beach-house
a family dinner
served between tides

Looking at some videos on the secondhand market this morning I noticed that quite a few that were being sold on one stall had originally been bought at a charity shop for 50p, even though they were now on sale for £1; no-one had even bothered to remove the old price labels.

It's incidences like this that make me so despise capitalism and consumerism and everything they stand for. I suppose though if there were a place for me within Western mainstream democratic capitalism I wouldn't be quite so bitter.

studentile...behaving in a juvenile, student-like manner.

hardcore...99% cocoa content chocolate.

dramanetics...a way of using physical theatre techniques as a creative way to stay fit.

Waiting

Unemployment queue;
Forty-two years old
And still looking
For my first job.

Before it's even
My turn to sign on
Someone in front of me
Seems to think
That we might have
Something in common.

2:37 p.m.
As he looks
At the clock on the wall -
I slowly check my watch.

My parents have recently purchased a de-humidifier and my mum reckons her health has really improved as a result (especially her breathing). Certainly the appliance removes several pints of water per day from the atmosphere.

Personally speaking, I know that whenever the weather is humid and clammy I feel uncomfortable both when it's hot and when it's cold. Fortunately in England we rarely experience extremes of temperature.

Bed and breakfast stays in Blackpool and Scarborough.

Staying in a cottage next to a farm in rural Lincolnshire - obviously very poor public transport links.

A static caravan at Berwick-upon-Tweed; we left a day early because of the incessant rain.

HAIKU

November wind
a mosaic of petals
telling the story

HAIKU

by moonlight
planting a single
sunflower seed

HAIKU

evening kick-off,
below zero -
a second-half equaliser

HAIKU

statutory holiday
following the printed guide
across the battlefield

A new 'everything £1' shop opened in town this morning, directly opposite the existing 99p store. As far as I can discern they both seem to be stocking the same produce. Maybe there'll be enough trade for them both during the Christmas period.

CIVIS ROMANVS SVM

Among the huddled humpbacked terraces
Of redbricked-up decayed decades;
-My own little piece of England,
Thirty foot by twelve footloose.

French marigolds,
(originating in the wild in Mexico)
Pompom dahlias,
(named after a Swedish botanist)
And recently purchased tulip bulbs,
(not necessarily from Amsterdam.)

Stepping out of my front door
Directly onto the street -
Over my right shoulder;
Even the sun is an immigrant.

Geoffrey Boycott (Yorkshire and England cricketer)
-despised by many people, but born in the same town as myself...very professional attitude to his sport (or bloody-minded if you prefer).

Rasputin (The Mad Monk)- 'lover of the Russian Queen'

Thomas Malthus (eighteenth century economist/philosopher) who theorised that the increase in population will always outstrip the available resources.

MARKET DAY

Each fruit gathers in its own etymology
From hand, to paper, to shopping bag.

In Doncaster,
Only two days of the week
Aren't market days.

All the stallholders
Shout out the same prices;
Ninety nine pence
Is anathema.

"Evening paper!
Evening paper!"

Bright afternoon sunshine,
Even freshly baked gossip
Can spill a headline.

I can't drive (Eighty percent of the jobs that I'm capable of doing would require that I could drive.)

I'm hopeless at reading body language and interpreting non-verbal communication.

I've got poor inter-personal skills.

I lack life experience in so many areas.

KISS ME

You thought me up;
-I'm yours; congratulations!

Second by second
I am drying out.

Please, do not
Look into thr mirror
And break the spell.

WASH DAY

Emerging from their soiled nights
They have polished their solitudes.

Later, they will light a single cigarette
Or read a magazine.

Glancing at the clock,
The night reclaims them
-One by one.

Concepts or ideas I don't easily relate to or understand.

compromise and negotiation
individuality
political correctness
capitalism and consumerism
religion
secrecy
laziness and indifference
politics and democracy
vanity

Concepts or ideas I can easily relate to and understand.

love and passion
honour and duty
enthusiasm
group identity
sense of purpose
teamwork
citizenship and responsibility
family and friendship
honesty
personal discipline
loyalty
truth

It's also the first day of the new hunting season. Because of the new legislation banning hunting with hounds we now have hunting with guns, and foxes also being trapped, gassed and poisoned. Of course, due to a large police presence at hunt gatherings up and down the country criminal activity is flourishing in our neighbourhoods.

So, if I stay at home I'm more likely to be attacked and robbed, or if I go for a walk in the countryside I might be accidently shot by an inexperienced marksman. Thank you Mr. Blair!

My T.V.- I resent having to watch it sometimes, but when you have a limited social life you do need a bit of entertainment. I never decline an invitation though.

Chocolate - my only addiction.

Clock/watch - despite my circumstances (I'm unemployed) I'm obsessed with punctuality.

My computer and broadband connection

Not very exciting, is it?

GLANCING BACK

A bare room
Deodorant and smoke.

The key turns
I let the cat out.

I SEE

In my youth
I made no mistakes.

Now, at forty three
I'm not allowed any.

PROMISED LAND

On a hot day
A knock may come,
Sunful streets
Over weeded plots.

With drawn farewells
Comes a furious bill;
-Bread is baking
In the quiet.

I've been watching several dozen excellent short films on a site called 'atom films'. They're all free and no registration is required.

http://www.atomfilms.com/

BAREFOOT YEARS

We lure our tears
To where pain creaks
As love suddenly turns to passion.

On the beach
The stare in your eyes
Doesn't shift the pebbles.

EXERCISE

I once tried to write
A sci-fi story
Set in the future
And using only
The future tense.

CIVIL WAR BATTLEFIELD

Waiting for our mistakes
With the blood-red gush of poppies;
The day winding down to dusk.

1...Why are overnight broadcasts not the same as nocturnal emissions?

2...Why don't you need a hankie for a blowjob?

HAIKU

dirty window,
sipping from another
glass in the pub

HAIKU

early composting
the steam of hot tea
-watching for rain

HAIKU

a dry, hot wind
cigarette smoke
where the river bends

HAIKU

June night,
tropical fragrance;
unopened letter
carried on the wind

They tried to overcharge me again this morning at Kwiksave. When the young lad on the till scanned in my tins of baked beans the price came up as 16p although they are priced at only 13p on the shelf. I protested and pointed out that legally the store is obliged to sell the product to me at the lower price. He was hesitating and so I then reminded him that under English Law he himself is committing a serious offence (I don't think this is actually the case) and I would be pursuing both himself and Kwiksave to the ends of the Earth.

He capitulated.

1...The discovery of a massive, eleven thousand year old pyramid in Bosnia.

2...Regular new discoveries of planets in the outer Solar System (two new moons of Pluto discovered at the weekend).

3...The discovery of the fossilised remains of a new species of human in a cave in Indonesia.

HAIKU

after the rain
New Year's Day
-the end of our affair

HAIKU

Pancake Day:
barely enough sun
-you, adding just
a squeeze of lemon

HAIKU

rain pounding
on the window:
fluorescent tube
flickering its last

So, Pensions & Work Secretary, David Blunkett has resigned (been sacked) from the government for breaking the rules yet again.

Of course the same thing happened a few years ago with Peter Mandelson; and he's now a European Commissioner.

Some of us though (myself especially) don't ever get the opportunity to make even one mistake.

In the case of Mr. Blunkett I say good riddance to a vain and arrogant man who liked to masquerade as some type of working class hero, whilst in truth spending most of his time pursuing illicit affairs with married women, surrepticiously dealing in shares and sitting on the boards of three companies.

I was listening to an interesting programme on Radio New Zealand about crime and punishment in Ancient Greece. Apparently, one of the punishments for adultery was to be stripped naked in the market place and have radishes inserted into your anus.

I've never liked radishes.

FAMILY

Fever makes him cry
From lack of sleep.

Red-eyed, we watch
In alternating turns
Of tea and coffee.

HAIKU

autumn storm:
in the morning,
leaves gathered
at the base of the pylon

HAIKU

I'm dreaming
about flocks of sheep,
approximate numbers only

I was woken up at 05:30 this morning by the rain pounding on the window...it's a beautiful sunny day now though. I've never had any difficulty in getting up in the morning; which is a bloody curse when you're unemployed.

POINTING THE WAY

The sun setting
Between goalposts;
Two points in Yorkshire
But three down south.

BANK HOLIDAY

First buzz
Of the electric razor:
When the rain stops,
The lawn still needs mowing.

HAIKU

just like a weed
even the rose blooms
when unattended

HAIKU

empty chair by the fire
toast burning in the kitchen

I was entertained at the pub on Saturday night when one of the regulars went out of his way to tell me how he'd been attacked earlier by a lesbian for snogging her girlfriend. Of course, he was quite drunk and so I don't know how true the story was.

DIARY DATE

Rain turning to snow
First thing in the morning:
-I was still in bed
When the first flake fell.

HAIKU

Midwinter:
Stars blossoming
On the cherry tree.

HAIKU

Last night
I dreamed
I was dreaming.