I arrived at the main post office in town just after nine o'clock this morning to find a notice on the door informing me that they now don't open on Tuesdays (a busy market day) until 9:30. because of staff training. (What did they do about staff training previously though when they opened at 9:00?)

With The Post Office being a Crown building I was always under the impression that they were required to open their doors promptly at nine o'clock...people are depending on them for pensions and benefits.

Twenty minutes later I returned from the market and joined a long queue outside the building. When I finally got served I told the counter clerk that I wasn't impressed with the reduced opening hours. She said that it wasn't her fault; I disagreed, telling her that either she agreed with the new policy, or she didn't but hadn't done anything about reversing the decision...either way it's her fault...personally.

She just continued to serve me in silence.

Does your favourite book smell like textured circles? Do you dislike the personality of your bedroom's doorframe? Do you see white when you stub your toe?

These are just some specific manifestations of a fascinating medical condition called synesthesia. Over the centuries many creative people have experienced the condition; I've deliberately not used the word 'suffer' because most people consider to it be a blessing and certainly don't want 'curing'.

I think it's caused by the brain confusing sensory input somehow. I've been aware of the condition for quite a while and use its described effects on other people in my poetry workshops by setting participants a series of questions such as:

What colour is thunder?
What does lightning smell like?
What do you hear when you lick a stamp?
What does breathing taste like?

I've had some very interesting results and good poetry produced by people who otherwise considered themselves not to be creative.

A few years ago this used to be Mansfield, until the freight only line between Worksop and Nottingham was re-opened to passenger services. I'm not sure what town has this dubious distinction now.

On a related theme, for many years Sheffield was the largest city in Europe without an airport; Sheffield City Airport opened about a dozen years ago but is scheduled to be closed in the near future...it was doomed to failure from the start due to its inappropriate location and funding regime. So the city's only claim to an airport now will be the ludicrously-named Doncaster/Sheffield Robin Hood International Airport at the old R.A.F. base at Finningley.

I've just discovered the 'random page' function on the wikipedia homepage. I'd not used it before, but have now spent several hours just flicking through all sorts of topics. It's introducing me to yet another whole new world to explore...more useless information buzzing about in my head though.

Continuing on the sporting theme from my previous post...

I've been enjoying watching the Six Nations rugby internationals on TV. Although I live on the edge of rugby league territory I must admit that I much prefer the rugby union code of the game; I find rugby league to be too much influenced by American football with all the razzmatazz...and, of course, there's certainly not the same organised international competition available (or even any sort of North/South rivalry within England.)

I recently visited the Unibond Premier League website (as I often do) to check the position of Frickley Athletic in the table. They're currently in second place and therefore have a good chance of achieving promotion to the northern section of the Football Conference.

When I used to live at Thurnscoe I was a season ticket holder at Westfield Lane but I've not watched the team since moving to Doncaster eight years ago. It's not difficult to reach South Elmsall (where the team plays) on the bus or train; but the combined cost of admission and fares is just too prohibitive for me...and this is just to attend semi-professional football matches.

After recently posting a list of what I imagined to be the most boring sites on the web, here's a list of some sites dealing with very unusual subjects (not always that obvious from the titles either.)

Write in Blood

Sleeping in Airports

Corpse Friend

Flying Spoons

God Hates Figs

Sandals and Socks

Brick Testament

Dead Gnomes

Trepanning Village (in Cornwall!)

Maggot Art

Rate My Cow

Living Coffin

Wheelbarrow Freestyle

Breastfeeding Men

Pirate Name

Penguin Dream

Shopping Trolley Abuse

Bone Chapel

Marry Ugly Millionaires

Cheap Time Travel

Dog Dancing

Missing Socks

Pets in Clothes

Children - I don't have any (and don't want any)

Redundancy - I'm unemployed

Debt - I don't have any; if I can't afford something, I don't buy it

Retirement - Financially I'll actually be at least fifty percent better off than I am now...an almost unique position!

My health - Fortunately it's good at the moment (I am concerned that I'm not eating a particularly healthy diet though)

Crime - My house is very secure and I'm a big man and so people wouldn't want to threaten me...I'm always wary though.

Well...actually, this is my 401st. post; I didn't realise in time.

At first I thought it would be difficult to write two posts a day for seven months as it's been now, but I've been surprised how easy it has been - things that are on my mind, my hopes and fears, rare surges of creativity and inspiration or just copying and pasting interesting stuff I find on the net.

Why do I do it? Therapy mainly... and the opportunity to communicate with people and be a part of something I suppose.

Ingrown hairs and baked beans

Ice skates and missing fingers

David Beckham paid my mortgage

Penguin in a backpack

Car snooker

Was President Kennedy a sausage?

Pets in the microwave

Cornflakes and masturbation

There are many more of them, these are just the highlights from the first five pages...there are thirty two pages in total.

I managed to buy a large box of Danish Cookies for only 49p this morning: because of the Arab/Muslim boycott of Danish products brought on by the Mohammed cartoon controversy I've been looking forward to seeing cheap produce on the shelves for a few days now.

Surprisingly though, the box is overprinted in Hebrew; I thought the Israelis might have been more supportive of the Danes, especially since the editor of the newspaper that printed the cartoon is Jewish.

Never mind; I'll just enjoy eating the biscuits.

...and thought I might as well answer the questions.

1...Last incoming phonecall?...From a telephone survey company (I'm on one of their consumer panels; I get a fiver a month for my time!)

2...Last outgoing phonecall?...North Doncaster Community Transport (I'm starting doing some voluntary work there next week.)

3...Last thing downloaded onto my computer?...Listening to live internet radio broadcasts.

4...Furthest place I've ever travelled to?...Cambrils, south of Barcelona.

5...Apart from commuting to work [I'm unemployed], the last place I travelled to on public transport?...Thurnscoe, on the way to Barnsley (to visit my parents).

6...Last email I sent?...a blog comment.

7...Last email I received (and actually opened)?...A newsletter from an online poetry magazine.

8...Last time I travelled on a boat?...Last year, on the community barge operated by the charity where I was on employment placement.

9...Last time I flew?...I've never flown.

10..Rolls Royce or Ferrari?...Neither, I can't drive.

A list of boring sites found on a website portal.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

How to shovel snow

World of concrete

Watching water freeze

Airport luggage carrousels

Luxury shed calendar

Parking lots

Traffic roundabouts

Snow globes

Street furniture

Grocery shopping lists

The shoelace site

Barometer world.

Pylon of the month

Urinal net

* * * * * * * * * * * *

It takes all sorts; people are obviously genuinely interested in these subjects.

I went to sign on at the jobcentre yesterday and told them about my intention to start doing some voluntary work again and that I needed to know what degree of commitment I'd be able to give without it threatening my entitlement to benefits.

All I was required to do though was fill in and sign a simple form (that makes a change - most DSS forms are very long and complicated!) To be honest, the staff didn't seem to care what I did, or didn't do; this might have something to do with the fact that up to a quarter of them are likely to be made redundant during the next few months.

...which sound rude (or maybe ought to be the names of characters in 'Lord of the Rings'), but actually aren't.

bastinado

boondoggle

bugaboo

crapulous

eructation

expiscate

homswoggle

jillick

scuttlebutt

snollygoster

Just four examples I came across online:

Most shampoos and conditioners...
...preventing silver from tarnishing
...softening your feet
...preventing shoes from squeaking
...covering up scratches on wodden furniture.

Alka-Seltzer...
...cleaning toilet bowls
...unblocking sinks and drains (I find that boiling water is very effective though)
...soothing insect bites.

Powdered milk...
...cleaning silver
...mix with water and add dye to make paint (I'm sure it would be far cheaper though just to buy the paint in the first place.)

Any brand of toothpaste...
...fills cracks and small holes in plaster, prior to decorating.

Headcheese

Choco Dogs

Cheddar Coffee

Banana Worm Bread

Leafhopper Blox

Cricket Cookies

Make Me Sick

Scrambled Brains

Mustard Crunchies

Sunflower Worcestershire Delight

Chocolate Gravy and Biscuits

Rootworm Beetle Dip

Fried Hornworms

Pig's Face and Cabbage

Grasshopper Gumbo

These are all genuine recipes submitted to a U.S. website. Reading them, doesn't the sound of them just roll off your tongue?

Yesterday I wanted to find some additional articles about BBC biased reporting of the news and so typed the words 'BBC biased reporting' into Google News, but all I got was all the BBC's own reports on biased reporting elsewhere...certainly not what I was looking for!

I've since checked other news aggregator search engines and they don't seem to have this problem though.

This is the question my mum always asks me at the end of every telephone conversation. What does she mean? What is she trying to tell me? I don't know; maybe I should just ask her one day...it wouldn't be easy though.

Of course, my answer to her question is always, "No."

From next year speed cameras will no longer have to be easily visible to motorists again.

So, what's their purpose then; to improve road safety, to slow down traffic or merely to raise revenue for The Treasury? I don't know, I can't drive.

Thank you Tony Blair...we all appreciate that choice is a good thing.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

British Gas has recently announced a 22% price increase for both its gas and electricity consumers. Personally speaking I know that the cost of my electricity has increased several times within the last few months, and will soon again; likewise local bus fares have gone up four times in a year. I bet that wages, pensions and benefits of the poorest members of society won't be adjusted to help offset these additional costs for life's necessities.

I accidently came across these terms whilst looking for differences between varieties of English around the world. If you're interested in finding out what they mean just use Google...there's always something new to learn!

wolf bagging

Hot Carl

Pink Pierre

Mississippi hogback growler

Cleveland steamer

hot ox

Norwegian tickler

duck juice

urethra Franklin

dog in a bathtub

filthy Sanchez

burying Elvis

upper decker

the rodeo

Online I've been viewing a few professionally-produced videos on the subject...but I don't believe a word of what they are saying. They are all claiming basically the same thing; that the planes that were supposedly hijacked and crashed into the World Trade Center were in fact military aircraft that actually fired missiles before crashing into the building themselves. Additionally they are claiming that the plane that was forced down in a field in Pennsylvania by an onboard passenger revolt was in reality shot down, or even forced to land at an airbase...and, of course, The Pentagon explosion was caused by a cruise missile. Apparently it's all part of a Zionist plot to take over the world...what a load of rubbish!

I've only one question I'd like to ask these deluded fantasists. If all these allegations are true, where are the hundreds of passengers who were apparently on these flights that didn't really crash into the Twin Towers, The Pentagon and a field in Pennsylvania?

A week or so ago my father bought what was obviously a very expensive and well-made pair of shoes from a charity shop for only £5. They were made in England (very rare these days) with real leather uppers and are oil and heat resistant to 200 joules (whatever that means)...they seem to be designed for wearing in some sort of industrial environment; yet are still very smart.

Unfortunately, because of all this protection they provide, they are very heavy; I estimate at least 5lbs for the pair; and my dad found it very difficult walking in them, and so he's now given them to me. I've gratefully accepted this gift; and briefly tried them on when visiting my parents yesterday: wearing them is the strangest experience...my feet felt as though they were stuck to the ground; and when I went for a bit of a walk around the house it seemed very much like hard work. I will be wearing them though; I don't believe in being wasteful of resources...I'll only be visiting the local shops whilst wearing them though.

Unclaimed Baggage Center

Museum of Pawn

Cafeteria Dedicated To A Cannibal

Grave of America's Favourite Cannibal

World's Largest Ball Of Barbed Wire

The 'Hitler Head' Trashcan

Grave of 'King Neptune' The Pig

Westgate Museum Of Necromancy

Arm Of The Unknown Soldier

Circus Train Wreck Memorial

Hoegh Pet Casket Factory Tours

Mr. Chicken And The Plastic-legged Rooster

I've only just noticed the new improved profile page including the number of profile views. I'll have to start looking at it more often now because I like statistics...I already quite frequently look at my stats page.

I've observed that on a few days I receive hundreds of pageviews (sometimes only a few individual visitors, yet others over a hundred even.) I'm assuming that all this extra interest is being taken in my blog by spammers; but why, and what are they doing? Is this additional traffic actually trigged by human beings, or some type of robotic crawlers?

There surely must be some purpose to all this activity; because it's not only my blog that's affected.

Death by lava lamp.

Chimney Cleaning Grenade.

Plug Me In!

Hurricane News Junkie.

Freeway Dangler.

Eel Enema.

Bullet-Brain.

I've not provided the details; they're very complicated - but they can can found at:-

http://www.darwinawards.com

Last night M.P.s voted for a total ban on smoking in pubs and clubs despite the government having stated in its election manifesto that it was only intending proposing a limited ban; excluding all private clubs and pubs that don't serve food from the terms of the legislation.

Now, being a non-smoker I actually fully agree with the total ban, but the government was elected to pursue only a partial ban and that's not what's been delivered. If a political manifesto is to be viewed as a contract between the state and the citizenry, then on this occasion, the state is in breach of the terms and its representatives should surely be held responsible...a new election?...impeachment?...fines or imprisonment?

Of course democracy isn't perfect, and I'm no big fan of parliamentary democracy as it's practised here in Britain; but I don't have the answer.

An Air Conditioning System...Caution: Avoid dropping air conditioner out of windows.

Blow Dryer...Warning: Do Not Use While Sleeping.

Rowenta Iron...Warning: Never iron clothes on the body.

McDonald's Coffee...Warning: Contents may be hot.

Tesco Fruit Juice Carton...On bottom side; 'Keep Upright.'

Sainbury's Mineral Water...Suitable for vegetarians.

Batman Costume...Warning: Cape does not enable user to fly.

Various Computers...Keyboard not detected. Press F1 to continue.

Toilet Plunger...Caution: Do not use near power lines (is this possibly a U.S. term for household power cables?)

Christmas Lights...Warning: For indoor or outdoor use only.

Fire Extinguisher...Caution: Non-Flammable.

Mattress...Warning: Do not attempt to swallow (Is this safe sex advice?)

Since yesterday my computer has been infested with pop-ups from online casino sites...I'm not even the least bit interested in gambling so this is especially annoying. It was so bad this morning that I totally lost any control whatsoever. I've only managed to successfully get online again by accessing the internet via MSN Messenger.

My friend should be able to purge my computer of the problem; but it might be a few days until he can get around to doing it. It's my first major problem in the seven months I've been online, so I can't really complain, can I?

I hate the damned things! I've just spent half an hour this morning killing several dozen.

It's not just that they eat my plants, but I also have to prevent them fron getting into the house. A couple of years ago I was infested with slugs; every morning I would discover up to half a dozen of the things in my kitchen...not just on the floor; but in the sink, on the working surfaces and even climbing up cupboards. Of course their slime trails were everywhere and although I did my best to clean them up, over a period of several months I still inadvertently ingested some of the bacteria or poisons present in the slime and became quite ill.

Salt seems to do the trick though in killing them and keeping them at a safe distance. At the time I liberally spread it on the floor and all over the surfaces and spent at least thirty minutes every day on the front line in the garden exterminating them.

The battle is continuing....no surrender!!!

Incidents and anecdotes associated with the use of Daylight Saving Time.

Live webcam feeds from famous tourist locations around the world (you can even take control of some of the cameras.)

A guide to the correct use of Catalan typography.

The history of thermometers.

Enclaves of the world - there are actually hundreds of them (including over a dozen enclaves within an enclave and one example of an enclave within an enclave within an enclave.)