There is a city called Rome on every continent (excluding Antarctica.)

Maine is the toothpick capital of the world.

Panama hats actually come from Ecuador, not Panama.

The southern tip of Canada is nearer to the equator than it is to the North Pole.

Alaska is both the furthest west, and the furthest east point of the United States.

Dear Software Solutions:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting modules, limiting access to flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0

In addition, Husband 1.0 deleted many other valuable programs such as Romance 9.9 and installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0 and NBA 3.0 Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the
system.

I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

Signed Desperate

An accountant is someone who knows the cost of everything and the value of nothing.

An auditor is someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded.

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain. (Mark Twain)

An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.

A statistician is someone who is good with numbers, but lacks the personality to be an accountant.

An actuary is someone who brings a fake bomb on a plane because that decreases the chances that there will be another bomb on the plane.

A programmer is someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.

A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there. (Charles Darwin)

A lawyer is a person who writes a 10,000 word document and calls it a 'brief'.

Arsenal F.C. - Victory Comes From Harmony

B.B.C. - Nation Shall Speak Peace Unto Nation

Boy Scouts - Be Prepared

Harrods - All Things, For All People, Everywhere

Olympic Games - Faster, Higher, Stronger

Salvation Army - Blood & Fire