Doggie Poop Freeze Wand

Mug Incorporating A Simulated Artificial Horizon

User-operated amusement apparatus for kicking the user's buttocks.

Method and apparatus for making a drink hop along a bar or counter.

Protective underwear with malodorous flatus filter.

Carvable artificial pumpkin, and method.

I've just had my mock interview for a proofreading job at the office where I'm attending my employment scheme.

In the feedback session I was told that I performed well with my verbal responses and technical knowledge but my body language was awful, making me appear very sinister. There's not a lot I can do about that though; if I know how to do the job that's all that should matter.

(As written in official transcripts.)

Q: Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods?
A: No, I said he was shot in the lumber region.

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies have been on dead people.

Q: Were you acquainted with the deceased?
A: Yes, sir.
Q: Before or after he died?

Q: Officer, what led you to believe that the defendant was under the influence?
A: Because he was argumentary, and he couldn't pronunciate his words.

Q: You say you're innocent, yet five people swear they saw you steal a watch.
A: Your honour, I can produce 500 people who didn't see me steal it.