Minimalist poet, minimalist lifestyle

I think these are all examples from non-Anglophone countries.

Depresso
Profit
Diet Water
Wild Drip
Coolpis
Human Water
God
Creap

1. In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis. God got tired of creating the world so he took the sabbath off.

2. Adam and eve were created from an apple tree. Noah's wife was Joan of ark. Noah built and ark and the animals came on in pears.

3. Lot's wife was a pillar of salt during the day, but a ball of fire during the night.

4. The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with unsympathetic genitals.

5. Sampson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a jezebel like Delilah.

6. Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the apostles.

7. Moses led the Jews to the Red Sea where they made unleavened bread which is bread without any ingredients.

8. The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went up to mount cyanide to get the ten commandments.

9. The first commandments was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.

10. The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.

11. Moses died before he ever reached Canada. Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.

12. The greatest miricle in the bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.

13. David was a Hebrew king who was skilled at playing the liar. He fought the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in biblical times.

14. Solomon, one of Davids sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.

15. When Mary heard she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta.

16. When the three wise guys from the east side arrived they found Jesus in the manager.

17. Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.

18. St. John the blacksmith dumped water on his head.

19. Jesus enunciated the golden rule, which says to do unto others before they do one to you. He also explained a man doth not live by sweat alone.

20. It was a miricle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance.

21. The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 decibels.

22. The Epistels were the wives of the Apostles.

23. One of the oppossums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan.

24. St. Paul cavorted to Christianity, he preached holy acrimony which is another name for marriage.

25. Christians have only one spouse. This is called monotony.

Females are forbidden from doing their own hair without being licensed by the state.

Dogs must have a permit signed by the mayor in order to congregate in groups of three or more on private property.

Oklahoma will not tolerate anyone taking a bite out of another's hamburger.

It is against the law to read a comic book while operating a motor vehicle.

It is illegal to have the hind legs of farm animals in your boots.

Residents are taxed for the furniture in their homes, and any other personal belongings.

People who make "ugly faces" at dogs may be fined and/or jailed.

Cars must be tethered outside of public buildings.

Anyone arrested for soliciting a hooker must have their name and picture shown on television.

Tattoos are banned.

It is illegal to wear your boots to bed.

It is illegal to have sex before you are married.

Fish may not be contained in fishbowls while on a public bus.

Tissues are not to be found in the back of one's car.

More establishments from where people have been accessing my blog...most people view from home though.

Memphis State University, USA

Hogg Robinson Financial Services

Imperial College, London

Eclipse Presentations Ltd.

University of Central Florida

Slovenian Tourist Organisation

Duckdriver Ltd.

Cap Gemini UK Ltd.

The Information Technology Business of The Post Office

Newsquest Media Group

HSO Trinity Mirror Group

Bradford Education Centre

Road Runner Holding Company

Indian Institute of Technology, Kharagpur

Thanks for visiting.

My landlord gave me a one year contraction.
It will be over soon.

* * * * *

The rent fee is only $300 per month.
That includes having gas and hitting.

* * * * *

Me and my brother share
a small womb in the basement.

* * * * *

We live on the sex floor.
Our apartment is small but we have a nice view.

* * * * *

I really need to have my plumber fixed.

* * * * *

I was very tired last night
so my friend let me crash into his apartment.

* * * * *

My friend and I live together in a bachelor's suit.

* * * * *

We have a big problem at my house.
What is it?
Our toilet is out of odor. I'm a little upset.

* * * * *

I don't care if me or my roommate mails the check. But I don't want it to slip through our cracks.

* * * * *

How many people live in your building?
I don't know for sure but I have wild gas.

* * * * *

How many floors does your apartment building have?
I guess one in every room.

* * * * *
I cannot sleep these days. I am too miserable.
Why?
My hair conditioner doesn't work.

* * * * *

Do you have a shower in your bathroom?
Only in the summer when it is hot.

I was listening to the cricket commentary yesterday and was hearing amazing events being described; something that has never happened in international test cricket previously...a team forfeiting a match; although in the case of Pakistan I don't think they actually intended to forfeit the match - just make a protest by remaining in their dressing room for a few minutes.

This is what happened.

The umpires were examining the ball and decided that the Pakistanis had been tampering with the seam, then signalled five penalty runs to be awarded to England and called for a box of balls to be presented to the batsmen for them to select a new one.

Obviously the Pakistanis weren't very happy about so publically being accused of being cheats and refused to come out of their dressing room after the tea interval. After about fifteen minutes the two umpires and the English batsmen walked onto the field and went through the formal procedure of removing the bails to signal that the match had ended and England had won.

Ten minutes later the Pakistanis then decided that they now wanted to play, but this time the umpires refused to come out because they had ruled that the match had already ended.

Two hours of frantic discussions then followed whilst the crowd was kept in the dark all the time as to what was happening; those who weren't listening on a portable radio wouldn't have had a clue.

It wasn't until seven o'clock that the crowd was informed that play had been abandoned for the day and ten o'clock until the authorities made a formal announcement that the match had indeed finished, and England had won.

What a shambles! There's obviously a major problem with the rules of the game when a team accused of cheating has no other way of protesting its innocence than doing what the Pakistanis did. Of course, there are correct procedures to follow; but all of these take place after close of play and would not receive much publicity.

There's a very simple solution to this problem. Any team that is in dispute with the umpires or the governing bodies should just take to the field wearing colored armbands and everyone will know that there's an ongoing dispute.

I hope I've made things clear...I know not everyone is a cricket fan, but I feel I need to write about these events because they are totally unique and to me the solution is so obvious.