Minimalist poet, minimalist lifestyle

Without knowing the context, these are really bizarre.

Do not place radioactive animals in the cooler.

Gently hitting the kidney will help to shake out sediment.

Humped zebra crossing.

Special TV microwave computer.

Danger: watch your hands and fingers.

For restrooms, go back toward your behind.

You can't shoot any game other than whales from a moving automobile.

Hollow logs may not be sold.

More than 8 women may not live in the same house because that would constitute a brothel.

It is illegal to use a lasso to catch a fish.

"Crimes against nature" are prohibited.

Ministers are to be dedicated to God and therefore are not eligible to hold a seat in either House of the Legislature.

I'm not sure how genuine or practical some of these actually are - I just found them on someone's personal website. I've not researched the details.

cabbage soup diet
negative calorie diet [I don't believe the authenticity of this one at all]
zone diet
South Beach diet
blood type diet
sugar busters diet
grapefruit diet
the caveman diet

I've never been on a diet: I suppose I try and keep an eye on my weight because I'm a bit concerned about my unhealthy eating habits though.

Do you like this food?
I made it from scratching!

* * * * *

I never liked mushrooms,
but now they are starting to grow in me.

* * * * *

Do you like your coffee cremated?

* * * * *

Tomorrow I will go to a wine and cheese cutting party.

* * * * *

Every morning I have some toast
and a big glass of flute juice.

* * * * *
Did you have breakfast?

Yes. Now it is in my backpack.

* * * * *

My friends visited last night and
we served a nice pig dinner.

* * * * *

My favorite food is crap cakes.

* * * * *

My mother is usually already
cooked one or two hours before dinner.

* * * * *

A good lice cooker can keep your
lice warm and eatable for two days.

* * * * *

My sister exploded in the microwave with a potato!

* * * * *

I think that if there is a beautiful waitress in one restaurant and a normal one in the second, and they both taste the same, most people will visit the first one.

* * * * *

Would you like a potato wedgie?

* * * * *

I usually worm up my food before I eat it.

* * * * *

My stomach is so crowded.
I ate ten or twenty Buffalo wigs.

* * * * *

Would you like some?
No thanks. I just ate some chickens.

* * * * *

It took twenty minutes for the waiter
to take my odour.

* * * * *

When my roommates ate my cook,
they pretended it was delicious.

I'm now 44 years old. These are the average ages of various groups of people.

Members of Parliament 51
Newly married men (first time) 31
Newly divorced men (first time) 42
Prisoners admitted to Florida jails 31
People starting attending Quaker meetings 34
Age of retirement for men 62