Minimalist poet, minimalist lifestyle

- Irving Benson & Jessie Carter were married on Octoer 24. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

- Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

- Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottle and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

- Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

- Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.

- The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.

- This evening at 7PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

- Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10:00 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the fellowship hall after the BS is done.

- The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

- Low self esteem support group will meet Thursday at 7PM. Please use the back door.

- The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement Friday at 7PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

- Weight watchers will meet at 7PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use the wide double door at the side entrance.

A surgeon, engineer, and lawyer are arguing about which profession is the most respectable. The surgeon says, "Medicine is the oldest and most respectable profession. It says in the firs chapter of the Bible that Eve was created out of Adam's rib. That's surgery and therefore a doctor had to be there."
The engineer replies, "I can do better than that. Before it gets to Adam and Eve, the first chapter says that heaven and earth were created out of chaos. That's engineering and therefore an engineer had to be there."
They both look at the lawyer.
"Who do you think created all the chaos?""

Here are some responses to job related and general knowledge questions from real college students that are so funny that they seem simply hilarious:

1. A person should bathe once in summer but not so often in winter.
2. Chemical Formula of Water has two gins - Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin while Hydrogin is gin and water.
3. Definition of Census taker - A man who goes from house to house increasing the population.
4. Definition of Syntax - Tax paid by the sinners at the church.
5. Definition of Virgin Forest - It is a forest where the hand of man has never set foot.
6. Future tense of 'I give' - 'I take'.
7. Houses in France are generally made up of Plaster of Paris.
8. Iron was discovered because someone smelt it.
9. One of the main causes of dust is janitors.
10. Parts of Speech - Lungs and air.
11. Spinal column is a long bunch of bones. The head sits on the top and you sit on the bottom.
12. The four seasons are salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
13. The word 'trousers' is an uncommon noun because it is singular at the top and plural at the bottom.
14. What is H2O and CO2? - H2O is hot water and CO2 is cold water.
15. What the residents of Moscow are called? - Mosquitoes.

(I only work a half-day on Fridays; and I'm based in town, so that's why I'm blogging a bit earlier today.)

Well, the first week has been okay. I'm quite a bit older than most of the staff and so fitting in is a bit difficult for me; members of the management team are older and so I naturally gravitate towards them...something that a couple of the youngsters in the office have already commented on.

The bus service isn't very good and so I'm having to set off earlier than I'd anticipated making the days long and tiring.

The worst part about the job is the boredom though; just sitting about in the office - I can't even blog because access to the site is blocked.

I'm hoping that things will improve when my criminal records clearance comes through and I'll be contributing to, and working with, various community projects.

Honey Ryder
Sylvia Trench
Pussy Galore
Domino Durval
Fiona Volpe
Kissy Suzuki
Tiffany Case
Plenty O'Toole
Mary Goodnight
Holly Goodhead
Xenia Onatopp

I love the Bond films; the humour, glamour and action - Roger Moore was my favourite Bond and Blofeld my favourite villain.