Minimalist poet, minimalist lifestyle

Why doesn't "onomatopoeia" sound like what it is?
Why do we put suits in a garment bag and garments in a suitcase?
Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays?
Why do 'tug' boats push their barges?
Why do they report power outages on TV?
Why do they call them "apartments" when they are all stuck together?
How can there be "self help Groups"?
How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?
How can someone "draw a blank"?
How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike?
Does the Postmaster General need a stamp of approval?
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as 4's?
Do one legged ducks swim in circles?
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
Do fish get cramps after eating?
Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car, he sticks his head out the window!
Did the early settlers ever go on a camping trip?
Did Adam and Eve have navels?
Could someone ever get addicted to counseling? If so, how could you treat them?
Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
Can I get arrested for running into a Fire House yelling Movie! Movie!?
Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?
Aren't all generalizations false?
Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
Why do they call it an asteroid when its outside the hemisphere but call it a hemorrhoid when its in your ass?
If you lived in Siberia and you wronged the Russians government, where would they send you?
What should one call a male ladybird?
What would you use to dilute water?
How come overtones and undertones are the same thing?
If you take an oriental person and spin him around a few times, does he become disoriented?
Why does Donald Duck wear a towel when he comes out of the shower, when he doesn't usually wear any pants?
If Barbie is so popular, then why do you have to buy her friends?
You can be overwhelmed, and you can be underwhelmed, but can you just be whelmed?
Why are turds pinched off at the end?
What would Geronimo say if he jumped out of an airplane?
If you're in hell, and are mad at someone, where do you tell them to go?
How does Santa get into a house that doesn't have a chimney?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
Why do grocery stores buy so many checkout line registers if they only keep 3 or 4 open?
Is Disney world the only people trap operated by a mouse?
How can something be new and improved? if it's new, what was it improving on?
Why is it good to be a Daddy's girl, but bad to be a Momma's boy?
Why do you get on a bus and a train but get into a car?
If the speed of movement is slower than the speed of light - how fast is a moving light?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Why is it you get a penny for your thoughts, but have to put in your two cents worth?
If you fed a bee nothing but oranges, would it start making marmalade?
Is a hot car cool or is a cool car hot?
Is a man full of wonder a wonderful man?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
How can you hear yourself think?
How can you chop down a tree and then chop it up?
If Americans throw rice at weddings, do the Chinese throw hamburgers?
If quizzes are quizzical then what are tests?
Where in the nursery rhyme does it say humpty dumpty is an egg?
What if the hokey-pokey really is what it's all about?
Why do they call it taking a dump? Shouldn't it be leaving a dump?
What happens if someone loses a lost and found box?

I've just returned from the hospital where my right knee's been stretched, bent, twisted, pulled, pushed and poked; all after being x-rayed. The result is that I need an operation on it - it will probably be done sometime early next year; I'm not a priority.

I found this little tale on a site devoted to jokes - it's so much more than a joke though, and really gives you something to think about.

There was this fellow who worked in a post office whose job it was to process all mail that had illegible addresses. One day a letter came to his desk, addressed in a shaky handwriting to God.

He thought, "Oh boy, better open this one and see what it's all about."

So he opened it and read , "Dear God, I am an 85 year old widow living on a very small pension. Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had a £110 in it which was all the money I had until my next pension check. Next Sunday is Easter, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with. I have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope. Can you please help me?"

The postal worker was touched, and went around showing the letter to all the others. Each of them dug into his wallet and came up with some money. By the time he made the rounds, he had collected £95.50, which they put into an envelope and sent over to her. The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of the nice thing they had done.

Easter came and went, and a few days later came another letter from the old lady to God.

All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened. It read, ...

" Dear God, How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me? Because of your generosity, I was able to fix a lovely dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day, and I told my friends of your wonderful gift. By the way, there was £4.50 missing. It was probably those thieving ba*tards at the post office. "