Posts archive for: 24 October, 2006
  • Some more things to ponder about.

    A few of these I actually do worry about.

    Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

    Who was the first person to say "See that chicken there....I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes out of it's butt."

    Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

    Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

    Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

    Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

    Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

    What do you call male ballerinas?

    Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream??

    If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

    Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?

    Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

    Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he can't wait to stick his head out the window into the wind?

    Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster

  • Comeuppance - but is it true?

    A Charlotte, NC, lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against fire among other things. Within a month having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy, the lawyer filed claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost "in a series of small fires." The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason: that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion.

    The lawyer sued...and won!

    In delivering the ruling the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The Judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable fire, and was obligated to pay the claim.

    Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his loss of the rare cigars lost in the "fires."

    NOW FOR THE BEST PART...

    After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!! With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.

    This is a true story and was the 1st place winner in the recent Criminal Lawyers Award Contest.

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