Minimalist poet, minimalist lifestyle

Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.
- - - Woody Allen "Without Feathers"

A daydream is a meal at which images are eaten. Some of us are gourmets, some gourmands, and a good many take their images precooked out of a can and swallow them down whole, absent-mindedly and with little relish.
- - - W. H. Auden

Eat as much as you'd like. My philosophy has always been that all women desire to be as fat as myself but just have a great fear of doing so. Because they think they won't get any men, but you will. You'll get more men, and better men.
- - - Roseanne Barr

A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart who looks at her watch.
- - - James A. Beard

Food is our common ground, a universal experience.
- - - James A. Beard

The food in Yugoslavia is fine if you like pork tartare.
- - - Ed Begley, Jr.

Your words are my food, your breath my wine. You are everything to me.
- - - Sarah Bernhardt

Let us eat and drink; for tomorrow we shall die.
- - - Bible - Isaiah 22:13

They shall hunger no more, neither thirst any more;
Neither shall the sun light on them, nor any heat.
- - - Bible Revelation 7:16

Tell me what you eat, and I will tell you what you are.
- - - Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

Tomatoes and oregano make it Italian; wine and tarragon make it French. Sour cream makes it Russian; lemon and cinnamon make it Greek. Soy sauce makes it Chinese; garlic makes it good.
- - - Alice May Brock

He may live without books - what is knowledge but grieving?
He may live without hope - what is hope but grieving?
He may live without love - what is passion but pining?
But where is the man that can live without dining?
- - - Edward R. Bulwer-Lytton "Lucille"

I don't eat anything that a dog won't eat. Like sushi. Ever see a dog eat sushi? He just sniffs it and says, "I don't think so." And this is an animal that licks between its legs and sniffs fire hydrants.
- - - Billiam Coronel

Avoid fruits and nuts. You are what you eat.
- - - Jim Davis (Garfield)

America knows nothing of food, love, or art.
- - - Isadora Duncan

Some people wanted champagne and caviar when they should have had beer and hot dogs.
- - - Dwight D. Eisenhower

One can say everything best over a meal.
- - - George Eliot

Let the stoics say what they please, we do not eat for the good of living, but because the meat is savory and the appetite is keen.
- - - Ralph Waldo Emerson

When I get a little money, I buy books. And if there is any left over, I buy food.
- - - Desiderius Erasmus

A Book of Verses underneath the Bough,
A Jug of Wine, a Loaf of Bread - and Thou
Beside me singing in the Wilderness -
Oh, Wilderness were Paradise enow!
- - - Edward Fitzgerald "The Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam"

The main problem in marriage is that, for a man, sex is a hunger - like eating. If a man is hungry and can't get to a fancy French restaurant, he'll go to a hot dog stand.
- - - Joan Fontaine

Kill no more pigeons than you can eat.
- - - Benjamin Franklin

Great eaters and great sleepers are incapable of anything else that is great.
- - - Henry IV of France

One must ask children and birds how cherries and strawberries taste.
- - - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Money brings you food, but not appetite; medicine, but not health; acquaintances, but not friends.
- - - Henrik Ibsen

When the stomach is full, it is easy to talk of fasting.
- - - Saint Jerome

A smiling face is half the meal.
- - - Latvian Proverb

They dined on mince, and slices of quince,
Which they ate with a runcible spoon;
And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand,
They danced by the light of the moon.
- - - Edward Lear

Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
- - - Fran Lebowitz

If the people have no bread, let them eat cake.
- - - (attributed to) Marie Antoinette

Britain is the only country in the world where the food is more dangerous than the sex.
- - - Jackie Mason

At a dinner party on should eat wisely but not too well. And talk well but not too wisely.
- - - W. Somerset Maugham

Kissing don't last: cookery do!
- - - George Meredith

We may live without friends; we may live without books
But civilized men cannot live without cooks.
- - - Owen Meredith

Americans can eat garbage, provided you sprinkle it liberally with ketchup, mustard, chili sauce, Tabasco sauce, cayenne pepper, or any other condiment which destroys the original flavor of the dish.
- - - Henry Miller

One must eat to live, not live to eat.
- - - Moliere

Jack Sprat Could eat no fat,
His wife could eat no lean;
And so, Betwixt them both,
They licked the platter clean.
- - - Mother Goose

Little Tom Tucker Sings for his supper.
What shall he eat?
White bread and butter.
How will he cut it
Without e'er a knife?
How will he be married
Without e'er a wife?
- - - Mother Goose

The French are sawed-off sissies who eat snails and slugs and cheese that smells like people's feet. Utter cowards who force their own children to drink wine, they gibber like baboons even when you try to speak to them in their own wimpy language.
- - - P. J. O'Rourke

It's difficult to believe that people are still starving in this country because food isn't available.
- - - Ronald Reagan

You can tell alot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jellybeans.
- - - Ronald Reagan

One may live without bread, not without roses.
- - - Jean Richepin

Nothing stimulates the practiced cook's imagination like an egg.
- - - Irma Rombauer

Life is like an onion: You peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep.
- - - Carl Sandburg

Dost thou think, because thou art virtuous, there shall be no more cakes and ale?
- - - William Shakespeare

If music be the food of love, play on.
Give me excess of it, that, surfeiting,
The appetite may sicken, and so die.
- - - William Shakespeare "Twelfth Night"

There is no love sincerer than the love of food.
- - - George Bernard Shaw

When men reach their sixties and retire they go to pieces. Women just go right on cooking.
- - - Gail Sheehy

Chameleons feed on light and air:
Poets' food is love and fame.
- - - Percy Bysshe Shelley "An Exhortation"

Serenely full, the epicure would say, Fate cannot harm me; I have dined to-day.
- - - Sydney Smith "Recipe for Salad"

I prefer Hostess fruit pies to pop-up toaster tarts because they don't require as much cooking.
- - - Carrie Snow

Bachelor's fare: bread and cheese, and kisses.
- - - Jonathan Swift

My tongue is smiling.
- - - Abigail Trillin

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.
- - - Calvin Trillin

Nothing would be more tiresome than eating and drinking if God had not made them a pleasure as well as a necessity.
- - - Voltaire

Quotations about Breakfast
All happiness depends on a leisurely breakfast.
- - - John Gunther

Quotations about Cabbage
Cabbage: A vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.
- - - Ambrose Bierce

An idealist is one who, on noticing that roses smell better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup.
- - - H. L. Mencken

Quotations about Cheese
Cheese--milk's leap toward immortality.
- - - Clifton Fadiman

Quotations about Chocolate
As with most fine things, chocolate has its season. There is a simple memory aid that you can use to determine whether it is the correct time to order chocolate dishes: any month whose name contains the letter A, E, or U is the proper time for chocolate.
- - - Sandra Boynton "Chocolate: The Consuming Passion"

Research tells us that fourteen out of any ten individuals like chocolate.
- - - Sandra Boynton "Chocolate: The Consuming Passion"

Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go.
- - - Truman Capote

There are two kinds of people in the world. Those who love chocolate, and communists.
- - - Leslie Moak Murray in "Murray's Law"

Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands -- and then eat just one of the pieces.
- - - Judith Viorst

Quotations about Coffee
A cup of coffee - real coffee - home-browned, home-ground, home-made, that comes to you dark as a hazel-eye, but changes to a golden bronze as you temper it with cream that never cheated, but was real cream from its birth, thick, tenderly yellow, perfectly sweet, neither lumpy nor frothing on the Java: such a coffee is a match for twenty blue devils, and will exorcise them all.
- - - Henry Ward Beecher "Eyes and Ears"

The world's costliest coffee, at $130 a pound, is called Kopi Luwak. Essentially, it is the droppings from a type of marsupial that eats only the very best coffee beans. Plantation workers track them and scoop their precious poop.
- - - Irena Chalmers "The Great Food Almanac"

Never drink black coffee at lunch; it will keep you awake all afternoon.
- - - Jilly Cooper

Black as the devil,
Hot as hell,
Pure as an angel,
Sweet as love.
- - - Charles Maurice de Talleyrand-Perigord "recipe for coffee"

It is disgusting to note the increase in the quantity of coffee used by my subjects and the amount of money that goes out of the country in consequence. Everybody is using coffee. If possible, this must be prevented. My people must drink beer.
- - - Frederick the Great

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat.
- - - Alex Levine

If this is coffee, please bring some tea; but it this is tea, please bring me some coffee.
- - - Abraham Lincoln

I think if I were a woman I'd wear coffee as a perfume.
- - - John Van Druten

If there hadn't been women we'd still be squatting in a cave eating raw meat, because we made civilization in order to impress our girl friends. And they tolerated it and let us go ahead and play with our toys.
- - - Orson Welles

Quotations about Corn
Sex is good, but not as good as fresh sweet corn.
- - - Garrison Keillor

Quotations about Cucumber
A cucumber should be well sliced, and dressed with pepper and vinegar, and then thrown out, as good for nothing.
- - - Samuel Johnson

Quotations about Fish
Give me a fish, I eat for a day. Teach me to fish, I eat for a lifetime.
- - - Robert Louis Stevenson

Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish.
- - - Timothy Jones

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
- - - Gloria Steinem

Quotations about Garlic
There are five elements: earth, air, fire, water and garlic.
- - - Louis Diat

Quotations about Gluttony
I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food.
- - - Erma Bombeck

Glutton: one who digs his grave with his teeth.
- - - French Proverb

When we lose, I eat. When we win, I eat. I also eat when we're rained out.
- - - Tommy Lasorda

Never eat more than you can lift.
- - - Miss Piggy

The appetite grows with eating.
- - - Francois Rabelais

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.
- - - Orson Welles

Quotations about Honey
The pedigree of Honey
Does not concern the Bee -
A Clover, any time, to him,
Is Aristocracy.
- - - Emily Dickinson

'Bee vomit,' my brother said once,
'that's all honey is,' so that
I could not put my tongue to its
jellied flame without tasting
regurgitated blossoms.
- - - Rita Dove "In the Old Neighborhood"

A spoonful of honey will catch more flies than a gallon of vinegar.
- - - Benjamin Franklin

And Honey, I miss you and I'm being good.
And I'd love to be with you if only I could.
- - - Bobby Goldboro

Quotations about Ice Cream
I doubt the world holds for anyone a more soul-stirring surprise than the first adventure with ice cream.
- - - Heywood Broun

Quotations about Oysters
I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick, not wounded, dead.
- - - Woody Allen

Quotations about Roast Beef
Roast Beef, Medium, is not only a food. It is a philosophy. Seated at Life's Dining Table, with the menu of Morals before you, your eye wanders a bit over the entrees, the hors d'oeuvres, and the things a la though you know that Roast Beef, Medium, is safe and sane, and sure.
- - - Edna Ferber

Quotations about Watermelon
When one has tasted watermelon he knows what the angels eat.
- - - Mark Twain

Quotations about Vegetarians
I have always eaten animal flesh with a somewhat guilty conscience.
- - - Albert Einstein

Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.
- - - Fran Lebowitz "Metropolitan Life"

Animals are my friends...and I don't eat my friends.
- - - George Bernard Shaw

A man of my spiritual intensity does not eat corpses.
- - - George Bernard Shaw

Nothing more strongly arouses our disgust than cannibalism, yet we make the same impression on Buddhists and vegetarians, for we feed on babies, though not our own.
- - - Robert Louis Stevenson

Amidships - condition of being surrounded by boats.

Anchor - a device designed to bring up mud samples from the bottom at inopportune or unexpected times.

Anchor Light - a small light used to discharge the battery before daylight.

Berth - a little addition to the crew.

Boom - sometimes the result of a surprise jibe.

Bottom Paint - what you get when the cockpit seats are freshly painted.

Chart - a type of map which tells you exactly where you are aground.

Clew - an indication from the skipper as to what he might do next.

Companionway - a double berth.

Dead Reckoning - a course leading directly to a reef.

Deadrise - getting up to check the anchor at 0300.

Deviation - any departure from the Captain’s orders.

Dinghy - the sound of the ship’s bell.

Displacement - when you dock your boat and can’t find it later.

Estimated Position - a place you have marked on the chart where you are sure you are not.

First Mate - crew member necessary for skippers to practice shouting instructions to.

Foul Wind - breeze produced by flying turkey.

Freeboard - food and liquor supplied by the owner.

Headway - what you are making if you can’t get the toilet to work.

Heave-Ho - what you do when you’ve eaten too much Ho.

Jibe - either you like it or you don’t and it gets you.

Keel - term used by 1st mate after too much heel by skipper.

Landlubber - anyone on board who wishes he were not.

Latitude - the number of degrees off course allowed a guest.

Mast - religious ritual used before setting sail.

Mizzen - an object you can’t find.

Ram - an intricate docking maneuver sometimes used by experienced skippers.

Rhumb Line - two or more crew members waiting for a drink.

Sheet - cool, damp, salty night covering.

Shroud - equipment used in connection with a wake.

Starboard - special board used by skippers for navigation(usually with "Port" on the opposite side.)

Swell - a wave that’s just great.

"No Jackets Required"

Square Rigger - a rigger over 30.

15 Things it takes years to learn.

1. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she's pregnant unless you see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

2. The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.

3. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe we are excellent drivers.

4. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 11.

5. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

6. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

7. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

8. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.

9. If there really is a God who created the entire universe with all of its glories, and He decides to deliver a message to humanity, He will NOT use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle and too much make-up.

10. You should not confuse your career with your life.

11. A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter is not a nice person.

12. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.

13. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Usually, that individual is crazy.

14. Your friends love you anyway.

15. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

LIST OF AMERICAN SLOGAN TRANSLATIONS INTO FOREIGN LANGUAGES
Here is a look at how shrewd American business people translate their slogans into foreign languages:

1. When Braniff translated a slogan touting its upholstery, "Fly in Leather," it came out in Spanish as "Fly Naked."

2. Coors put its slogan, "Turn It Loose," into Spanish, where it was read as "Suffer From Diarrhea."

3. Chicken magnate Frank Perdue's line, "It takes a tough man to make a tender chicken," sounds much more interesting in Spanish: "It takes a sexually stimulated man to make a chicken affectionate."

4. When Vicks first introduce its cough drops on the German market, they were chagrined to learn that the German pronunciation of "v" is f - which in German is the guttural equivalent of "sexual penetration."

5. Not to be outdone, Puffs tissues tried later to introduce its product, only to learn that "Puff" in German is a colloquial term for a whorehouse.

6. The Chevy Nova never sold well in Spanish speaking countries. No Va" means "It Does Not Go" in Spanish.

7. When Pepsi started marketing its products in China a few years back, they translated their slogan, "Pepsi Brings You Back to Life" pretty literally. The slogan in Chinese really meant, "Pepsi Brings Your Ancestors Back from the Grave."

8. Then when Coca-Cola first shipped to China, they named the product something that when pronounced sounded like "Coca-Cola." The only problem was that the characters used meant "Bite The Wax Tadpole." They later changed to a set of characters that mean "Happiness In The Mouth."

9. A hair products company, Clairol, introduced the "Mist Stick", a curling iron, into Germany only to find out that mist is slang for manure. Not too many people had use for the manure stick.

10. When Gerber first started selling baby food in Africa, they used the same packaging as here in the USA - with the cute baby on the label. Later they found out that in Africa, companies routinely put pictures on the label of what actually is inside the container since most people can not read.