I'll soon be getting into the bath and then getting ready to go out to a Bonfire Night barbecue. It seems like the weather's going to okay, so it should be a good evening...good food and good company.

INNER SKELETON-----
A 63 year old widow was admitted to the hospital in Recife, Brazil, suffering abdominal pains. X-rays showed that she was carrying a 20 inch long skeleton of a fetus which she conceived a decade earlier. It had become lodged outside the womb and was never expelled from her body.

FEMALE SOFA-----
A 500lb. woman from Illinois was examined in a hospital. During the examination, an asthma inhaler fell from under her armpit, a dime was found under one of her breasts and a remote control was found lodged between the folds of her vulva.

PRICKLY PAIR
In Michigan, a man came into the ER with lacerations to his penis. He complained that his wife had "...a rat in her privates..." and it bit him during sex. After an examination of his wife, it was revealed that she had a surgical needle left inside her after a recent hysterectomy.

PING PONG ANYONE?
A 20 year old man came into the ER with a stony mass in his rectum. He said that he and his boyfriend was fooling around with concrete mix, then his boyfriend had the idea of pouring the mix into his anus using a funnel. The concrete then hardened, causing constipation and pain. Under general anesthesia, a perfect concrete cast of the man's rectum was removed along with a ping-pong ball.

BLIND DRUNK-----
A drunk staggered into a Pennsylvania ER complaining of severe pain while trying to remove his contact lenses. He said that they would come out halfway, but they always popped back in. A nurse tried to help using a suction pump, but without success. Finally, a doctor examined him and discovered the man did not have his contact lenses in at all. He had been trying to rip out the membrane of his cornea.

OUCH AND DOUBLE OUCH!
A couple hobbled into a Washington State emergency room covered in bloody restaurant towels. The man had his hands around his abdomen and the woman had hers around her head. They eventually explained to doctors that they had gone out that evening for a romantic dinner. Overcome with passion, the woman crept under the table to administer oral sex to the man. While in the act, she had an epileptic fit, which caused her to clamp down on the man's penis and wrench it from side to side. In agony and desperation, the man grabbed a fork and stabbed her in the head until she let go.

I don't have any personal connection with Ireland at all - I just found this page interesting because it's about words and language.

Short and Sweet

While many Irish names are long and difficult to pronounce, others seem unusually short. Quite often these mean something very different than you might expect.

Knock Not an invitation to announce your presence but meaning hill, from the Irish cnoc.

Inch May or may not be a small place, however the name comes from the Irish Inis meaning Island.

Camp A town of boy scouts perhaps, or a Mecca for the flamboyantly gay? Sadly no, it derives from the Irish An Com meaning the hollow.

Swords Nothing at all to do with duelling at dawn, the name is from sord meaning well, so presumably there was one here once.

Ovens Though it may well be home to many cooks, the name comes from Uamhanna (mh is pronouced v in Irish) meaning caves.

Effin The name comes from the saint who founded the local church, Eimhín, or Evin.

Muff Not a furry hand warmer nor indeed a .... well, never mind, it is in fact a mispronunciation of the Irish magh, meaning plain.

Kill Not an invitation to murder, but a church (Chill) or wood (Coill).

Peculiar Names
Often these names suggest an intriguing story in the background, sometimes there even is one! Others just seem plain strange but usually there is a simple explanation.

Ireland's Eye From the Norse ey meaning Island, this is an Island close to Dublin.

Horse and Jockey There is now a pub here called, surprise, "Horse and Jockey". And the name comes from an Inn of that name which stood here, though not in quite the same location.

Horseleap Hugh de Lacy, a landowner in this area, when fleeing from his enemies by horseback made what seemed like an impossible leap over the moat surrounding his castle. His feat gave the name to the place but the castle and the de Lacy family are long gone.

Stonybatter This is part phonetic pronunciation of and part translation from the Irish, An Bothar Clochach, the stony road.

Stillorgan Not at all what the English words separately suggest, musical or otherwise. It is a phonetic rendition of Stigh Lorcan or Lorcan's House.

Hackballscross It sounds awful and it was. This was the location where a group of men variously described as rebels or thieves were hung and gibbeted following an attack on a local landowners house. That this happened is not disputed, but the name may in fact derive from someone's name.