Minimalist poet, minimalist lifestyle

Message heard on a public transport vehicle in Orlando, Florida.
"When you exit this vehicle, please be sure to lower your head
and watch your step.

If you fail to do so, please lower your voice and watch your
language. Thank you."

With reference to my earlier posting here I've just tried to phone up C... and basically ask her out I suppose.

There's a problem though, the number she gave me doesn't work - it's got a digit missing.

So I don't know what to think or do. Did she just make a mistake because she was a bit tipsy, or was it a deliberate snub?

I gave her my number and did stress that I'm a passive person she I'm really hoping she'll be getting in touch.

Just something I've found.

A medieval Jewish astrologer prophesied to a king that his favorite
mistress would soon die. Sure enough, the woman died a short time later.
The king was outraged at the astrologer, certain that his prophecy had
brought about the woman's death. He summoned the astrologer and commanded
him: "Prophecy, tell me when you will die!"

The astrologer realized that the king was planning to kill him
immediately, no matter what answer he gave. "I do not know when I will
die," he answered finally. "I only know that whenever I die, the king will
die three days later."

Rude Spoonerisms

It's easy to get tongue-tied and accidentally say something rude, as you'll know if you've ever watched one of those compilations of TV slip-ups. Often just switching two small sounds in a phrase will result in an embarrassing, or even obscene Spoonerism!
Try reading these out loud, but not within earshot of your grandmother... just in case!

The acrobats displayed some cunning stunts.

Sir, you are certainly a shining wit.

He fills her soul with hope.

It's the Tale of Two Cities.

Have you brought your sleeping bag?

She is sure pretty.

Have you seen her sick duck?

Oh, the suffering of purgery on my soul!

He's not a pheasant plucker.

She showed me her tool kits.

He's a smart fella.

A hot pie would make me happy.

Fire truck.

Overhead door.

Three old men are out walking. First one says, "Windy, isn't it?"

Second one says, "No, it's Thursday!"

Third one says, "So am I. Let's go get a beer."

I had a wonderful evening in the pub last night. I ended up snogging and fondling C...for at least half an hour. We've exchanged phone numbers - and, she was keen to give me hers first.

So; things are looking promising. We probably would have ended up back at her place but she was out with her teenage daughter (19) who was a bit miffed to see her mum behaving in this manner and so we had to break things off.

Over the years we've both been regulars at the pub, C... has occasionally danced with me or given me a passionate hug or kiss, but I never thought anything of it because she'd always forget my name and call me either Ian or Steve.

Before the snogging we had a nice long conversation and I told her I'm shy and a bit passive and would need some encouragement; but I'm definitely feeling confident enough to give her a call later.