Minimalist poet, minimalist lifestyle

I've just found this...I hope it's true!

When Apollo Mission Astronaut Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon, he not only gave his famous "one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind" statement, but followed it by several remarks, usual communication traffic between him, the other astronauts and Mission Control. Just before he re-entered the lander, however, he made the enigmatic remark "Good Luck Mr. Gorsky."

Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some rival Soviet Cosmonaut. However, upon checking, there was no Gorsky in either the Russian or American space programs. Over the years many people questioned Armstrong as to what the "Good Luck Mr. Gorsky" statement meant, but Armstrong always just smiled. Then, on July 5, 1995 in Tampa Bay, FL, while answering questions following a speech, a reporter brought up the 26-year-old question to Armstrong. This time he finally responded. Mr. Gorsky had died, and so Neil Armstrong felt he could answer the question.

When he was a kid, he was playing baseball with a friend in the backyard. His friend hit a fly ball which landed in front of his neighbor's bedroom window. His neighbors were Mr. and Mrs. Gorsky. As he leaned down to pick up the ball, young Armstrong heard Mrs.Gorsky shouting at Mr. Gorsky. "Oral sex! You want oral sex?! You'll get oral sex when the kid next door walks on the moon!"

Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had
just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the
garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning.
He couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and
garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, and
Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He
subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food.
He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue
mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.

Wearing 625 condoms at once leads to severe penile injury
2006/10/30

Some of you may have heard of the practice of “double bagging” – wearing two condoms during sex for extra protection. Taking this idea to its ultimate extreme, researchers from myscienceproject.org set out to answer the question “How many condoms can you put on your dick?”

However, since they were unable to find anyone with a penis willing to undertake this assignment, they had to settle for answering the question “How many condoms can you put on a dildo?” The answer: a lot. Hundreds. Tons. Or at least a couple of pounds worth.

The experiment began with a bare dildo and a box of bulk regular size and thickness condoms.

The first 100 or so condoms went on quite easily, and added about two inches of length to the dildo. However, after 200 condoms had been applied, it became obvious that the condoms’ reservoir tips were stacking up, giving the dildo a distinctive, missile-like shape.

By the time of 300 condom mark, the dildo had become so top heavy it could not stand upright unsupported. As researchers kept adding condoms, the length of the dildo continued to extend, while its girth at the widest point began to approach the diameter of a soda can.

Unfortunately, researchers finally exhausted their supply of condoms and had to stop their experiment However, they became one step closer to answering the question “How many condoms can you put on a dildo?” At least 625.

The condoms also added an impressive amount of weight to the dildo. Pre-condoms, the bare dildo weighed in at just over 1 pound -- about 1 lb. In contrast, the condom-covered dildo weighed in at a hefty 3 lbs. The condoms added a full 2.25 lbs.

The results of our experiment indicate that putting a large number of condoms on an actual male sex organ would most likely result in severe penile injury. First, the pressure exerted by the condoms would result in constriction of circulation in the penis and probable tissue damage. Second, if left unsupported, the weight of the condoms would pull the penis and scrotum downward and could possibly result in injury to the penile shaft or base of the organ and groin. Do not attempt this experiment with an actual penis.

Source: http://www.myscienceproject.org/

Nicholas County, WV
No Clergy shall tell a joke from the pulpit.

Gloversville, NY
Woman wrestlers are prohibited within city limits.

Compton, CA
Dancing cheek-to-cheek is prohibited.

Lake Charles, LA
It's illegal to let a rain puddle remain in your front yard more than 12 hours.

Walden, NY
You cannot give someone a drink of water without a permit.

Vermont
It's illegal to whistle underwater.

Fort Madison, IA
Fire department personnel are required to practice 15 minutes before attending a fire.

California
A housewife may go to prison if she doesn't cook her dusting cloth after use.

Elko, NV
No one shall walk upon the street without wearing a mask.

Colorado
Serving of food in a room used for any other purpose is prohibited.

New York City, NY
No decks of cards allowed in any apartment located within a mile's radius of an armory.

Wyoming
Women are required to stand 5 feet away from bars when drinking in public.

South Carolina
Hip pockets are illegal. (They provide a convenient place for pint bottles)

Virginia
Horses of more than one year old are prohibited in a place of worship