Posts archive for: 24 November, 2006
  • Answers to geography test questions.

    This collection is supposedly derived from students answers to geography test questions.
    Climate is caused by the emotion of the earth around the sun.

    The people of Japan ride around in jig-saws.

    The plains of Siberia are roamed over by the lynx and the larynx.

    Lindberg is the capital of Germany.

    The chief animals of Australia are the kangaroo, larkspur, boomerang, and peccadillo.

    The inhabitants of ancient Egypt were called Mummies.

    Don Juan is a town in the West Indies.

    Germany is an industrial country because the poor have nothing else to do, so they make lots and lots of factories.

    Where is Alaska? Alaska is not in Canada.

    Spain's national music is the cascarets.

    What people live in the Po Valley? Po people.

    In Pittsburgh they manufacture iron and steal.

    In Athens there is a temple called the Pancreas.

    The Alimentary Canal is located in the northern part of Indiana.

    Georgia was founded by people who had been executed.

    When we cross the Hudson River we come to the United States.

    Where is the greater part of Europe? In New York.

    The principal export of Sweden is hired girls.

    The Indian squabs carry porpoises on their backs.

    Among the enduring remains of Egyptian civilization are pyramids and obsequies.

    The writing of ancient Egypt was called hydraulics.

    Rome had a fine defensive position, being seven miles from the mouth of the Tiger.

    The seaport of Athens is Pyorrhea.

    The Greeks wore scandals on their feet.

    In what general direction to the rivers of France flow? From the source to the mouth.

    The general direction of the Alps is straight up.

    Manhattan island was bought from the Indians for about $24, and now I don't suppose you could buy it for $500.

    The United States are mostly populated by people.

    The State of Virginia was named for the Virgin Mary, who afterward married Captain John Smith.

    What is the sound west of the State of Washington? The sound of the ocean.

    Canadians raise boll weevils for their wool.

    Where is Cincinnati? First place in the National League.

    Floods from the Mississippi may be prevented by putting big dames in the river.

    Denver is just below the 'o' in Colorado.

    They don't raise anything in Kansas but Alpaca grass, and they have to irritate that to make it grow.

    The benefit of latitude and longitude is that when a man is drowning he can call out what latitude and longitude he is and we can find him.

    Virginia is the mother of President Wilson and is also noted for her hysterical sights.

    The chief products of the Hawaiian Islands is rainfall.

    Philistines were inhabitants of the Philippine Islands.

    The original tribes of Central America were the Axtecs, the Celts, and the Morons.

    New Zealand is a democratic country. they passed a law there preventing women from sweating in the factories.

    Malays are brown generally and inhabit Malaria.

    The climate is hottest next to the Creator.

    The Kaffirs of Africa are a very savage race. In times of war they beat their tum-tums and can be heard for miles around.

    The American Indians travel in birchbark canoes on little streams of water that they make themselves.

    The state flower of Colorado is the concubine.

    The soil of Prussia was so poor that the people had to work hard just to stay on top.

    The Mason line is the line running north of the Equator and the Dixon line is south.

    In the west, farming is done mostly by irritating the land.

    Oceania is a continent that contains no land.

    There is a great deal of nothing in the center of Australia.

    Asked to name six animals peculiar to Arctic regions, a boy replied, "Three bears and three seals."

    Climate lasts all the time, but weather lasts only a few days.

    Latitude tells how hot you are and longitude tells how cold you are.

    The Menai Straits are crossed by a tubercular bridge.

    Sienna is famous for being burnt.

    The climate of Bombay is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.

    The sun never sets on the British Empire because the British Empire is in the east and the sun sets in the west.

    The trade of Spain is small, owing to the insolence of the people.

    The Eskimos are God's frozen people.

    The sun sets in the west and hurries around to the east to be in time to rise the next morning.

    Name three animals peculiar to frigid regions. The lion and the giraffe and the elephant are peculiar to frigid regions, but the polar bear and the seal and the walrus live there.

    People go to Africa to hunt rhinostriches.

    Glaciers spread a murrain over the land.

    The highest peak in the Alps is the Blanc Mange.

    The Equator is a menagerie lion running around the earth and through Africa.

    Imports are ports very far inland.

    Nearly at the bottom of Lake Michigan is Chicago.

    The chief occupation of Perth is Dying.

    The inhabitants of Moscow are Mosquitoes.

    The Pyramids are a range of mountains between France and Spain.

    A mountain range is a cooking stove used at high altitudes.

    An Indian Reservation consists of a mile of land for every five square Indians.

    The only signs of life in the Tundra are a few stunned corpses.

    Among the islands of the West Indies are the Pyjamas, noted for their toilet sponges.

    Lipton is the capital of Ceylon.

    The population of London is a bit too thick.

    Persian cats is the chief industry of Persia, hence the word purr.

    The Mediterranean and the Red Seas are connected by the Sewage Canal.

    New York is behind Greenwich time because America was not discovered until very much later.

    Henry VIII had an abyss on his knee which made walking difficult.

    Certain areas of Egypt are cultivated by irritation.

    Zanzibar is noted for its monkeys. The British Governor lives there.

    A watershed is a shed in the middle of the ocean where ships shelter during a storm.

  • I'm just waiting...

    I'm just sitting here at the computer waiting for the phone to ring.

    I left a message with C...'s answering service about a couple of hours ago but I'm worried she won't be able to get back to me because she did mention yesterday that her phone credit was low.

    She hasn't got a landline and so I've got no other way of getting in contact.

    So, while I'm waiting I've been sending a few emails...there isn't anyone online to use Instant Messaging with though.

  • Ten Peculiar Places

    Thank you for Fucking, Austria

    Fucking is a small settlement (population c. 150) in Austria. The village is known to have existed as "Fucking" since at least 1070.

    The settlement's most famous feature is a traffic sign with its name on it beside which English-speaking tourists often stop to have their photograph taken. The sign is the most commonly stolen street sign in Austria. Significant amounts of public funds are spent on replacing the stolen signs.

    Sealand: a micronation on the waters of the North Sea

    Sealand is a micronation located six miles (10 km) off the coast of Suffolk, England. Sealand is occupied by the family and associates of Paddy Roy Bates. The population of the facility rarely exceeds five, and its inhabitable area is 550 m2.

    Although Sealand's claims to sovereignty and legitimacy are not recognized by any country, it is probably the world's best-known micronation, and is sometimes cited in debates as an interesting case study of how various principles of international law can be applied to a territorial dispute.

    A museum devoted to the Penis

    The Icelandic Phallological Museum in Husavík, Iceland, is a museum devoted to phallology. The museum currently has 154 specimens displayed like hunting trophies, embalmed in formaldehyde, or dried in display cases.

    The museum attempts to collect penis specimens from every mammal extant in Iceland, including several species that are endangered or currently extinct in Icelandic waters.

    Erving's Location. Population: 1

    Erving's Location is situated in Coos County, New Hampshire. In New Hampshire, locations, grants, townships (which are different from towns), and purchases are unincorporated portions of a county which are not part of any town and have limited self-government (if any, as many are uninhabited).

    According to the 2000 census, one person lived in Erving's Location. Some have speculated that the census statistics for Erving's Location could have been a computer glitch.

    The Mojave Lonely Phone Booth

    The Mojave Phone Booth was a lone telephone booth in the Mojave National Preserve which attracted an online following in 1997, due to its unusual location. The booth was 15 miles from the nearest interstate highway, and miles from any buildings.

    Fans called the booth attempting to get a reply, and a few took trips to the booth to answer, often camping out at the site. The story inspired the creation of a motion picture, Mojave Phone Booth, due for release in 2006.

    The smallest park in the world: 452 in2

    Mill Ends Park in Portland, Oregon is the smallest park in the world, according to the Guinness Book of Records. The "park" is a 2 foot (610 mm) wide circle which in 1948 was intended to be the site for a light pole.

    The small circle has featured many unusual items through the decades, including a swimming pool for butterflies (complete with diving board) and a miniature ferris wheel (which was delivered by a regular-sized crane).

    A Christian Chapel decorated by the bones of 40,000 people

    The Sedlec Ossuary is a small Christian chapel, located beneath the Cemetery Church of All Saints in the Czech Republic.

    The ossuary contains approximately 40,000 human skeletons which have been artistically arranged to form decorations and furnishings for the chapel.

    Climb the World's steepest street

    The quiet suburban street of Baldwin Street, in New Zealand's southern city of Dunedin, is reputed to be the world's steepest street.

    At its maximum, the slope of Baldwin Street is approximately 1:2.86 (20° or 38%) - that is, for every 2.86 metres travelled horizontally, the altitude rises by 1 metre.

    Welcome to Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch

    Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch is a village on the island of Anglesey in Wales. It is best known for having the longest officially recognised place name in the United Kingdom, and one of the longest in the world.

    The village's long name was contrived in the 1860s for the prestige of having the longest name of a railway station in Great Britain, and could not be considered an authentic word in the Welsh language. A translation into English would yield "St Mary's church in the hollow of the white hazel near to the rapid whirlpool and the church of St Tysilio of the red cave".

    Climb the Rabbit's Hill

    Colletto Fava is a 5,000 foot (1,500 m) high hill in the northern Piedmont region of Italy. In 2005, a massive pink stuffed bunny was finished being erected on the side of the mountain.

    Members of the Viennese art group Gelatin which erected it not only expect people to observe the art work, but also for hikers to climb it and relax on the top.

  • Humorous taglines.

    Life without danger is a waste of oxygen.
    I fought the lawn, and the lawn won!
    Life in a vacuum sucks
    You'll get what's coming to you ... Unless mailed
    Two wrongs are only the beginning.
    You're only young once; you can be immature f'ever.
    "Suicide Hotline...please hold."
    All work and no play, will make you a manager.
    As I said before, I never repeat myself.
    A diplomat thinks twice before saying nothing..
    Computer Lie #1: You'll never use all that disk space.
    Don't confuse me with facts, my mind's already made up.

    Don't talk unless you can improve the silence.
    Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
    I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I'm perfect.
    Sign on baby's bib: SPIT HAPPENS.
    ASCII a stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!
    A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
    Conserve energy... fart in a jar
    Girl laid in tomb may soon become mummy..

  • More weird and funny laws from around the world.

    Canada
    You may not pay for a fifty-cent item with only pennies. Citizens may not publicly remove bandages. It is illegal for clear or non-dark sodas to contain caffeine.
    It's illegal to climb trees.
    "For Sale" signs are not permitted in the windows of moving vehicles.
    You can't drag a dead horse down Yonge Street on a Sunday.
    It is illegal to pretend to practise witchcraft.
    It is illegal to kill a sick person by frightening them.

    Denmark
    Before starting your car you are required to check lights, brakes, steering and honk your horn.
    If a horse drawn carriage is trying to pass a car and the horse becomes uneasy, the owner of the car is required to pull over and if necessary, cover the car.
    One may not be charged for food at an inn unless that person, by his or her own opinion, is "full".

    France
    Between the hours of 8AM and 8PM, 70% of music on the radio must be by French artists.
    An ashtray is considered to be a deadly weapon.

    Germany
    Every office must have a view of the sky, however small.
    It is illegal for one's car to run out of gas on the Autobahn.

    Israel
    Bicycles may not ridden without a licence. Raising a pig on Israeli soil will result in the murder of said pig. Picking one's nose on the Sabbath is illegal.

    South Africa
    Young people wearing bathing suits are prohibited from sitting less than 12 inches apart.

    Swaziland
    Any woman who wears pants faces a possible punishment of having the pants ripped off her and torn to pieces by soldiers.

  • F.B.I. : Top Murders of 2000.

    Every year the FBI, is asked to investigate over 36,000 Serious Crimes including Murder/Homicides.

    Every year the Homicide Investigations Unit puts out its Top 10 Homicides of the Year.

    1- Debby Mills-Newbroughton, 99 years old, was killed as she crossed the road. She was to turn 100 the next day, but crossing the road with her daughter to go to her own birthday party her wheelchair was hit by the truck delivering her birthday cake.

    2- Peter Stone, 42 years old, is murdered by his eight-year-old daughter, whom he had just sent to her room with no dinner. Young Samantha Stone felt that if she couldn't have dinner, no one should, and she promptly inserted 72 rat poison tablets into her father's coffee as he prepared dinner. The victim took one sip and promptly collapsed. Samantha Stone was given a suspended sentence as the judge felt she didn't realize what she was doing, until she tried to poison her mother using the same method one month later.

    3- David Danil, 17 years old, was killed by his girlfriend after he attempted to have his way with her. His unwelcome advance was met with a double-barreled shotgun. Charla's (the girlfriends') father had given it to her an hour before the date started, just in case.

    4- Javier Halos, 27 years old, was killed by his landlord for failing to pay his rent for eight years. The landlord, Kirk Weston, clubbed the victim to death with a toilet seat after he realised just how long it had been since Mr Halos had paid his rent.

    5- Megan Fry, 44 years old, was killed by 14 state troopers after she wandered onto a live firing, fake town, simulation. Seeing all the troopers walking slowly down the street Megan Fry had jumped out in front of them and yelled "Boo!" The troopers, thinking she was a pop up target, fired 67 shots between them, over 40 of them hitting the target. She just looked like a very real looking target, one of the troopers stated in his report.

    6- Julia Smeeth, 20 years old, was killed by her brother Michael because she talked on the phone too long, Michael clubbed his sister to death with a cordless phone, then stabbed her several times with the broken aerial.

    7- Helena Simms, Wife to the famous American nuclear scientist Harold Simms was killed by her husband after she had an affair with the neighbour. Over a period of three months, Harold substituted Helena's eye shadow with a uranium composite that was highly radioactive, until she died of radiation poisoning. Although she suffered many symptoms, including total hair loss, skin welts, bindness, extreme nausea and even had an earlobe drop off, the victim never attended a doctor's surgery or hospital for a check-up.

    8- Military Sergeant John Joe Winter killed his two-timing wife by loading her car with Trintynitrate explosive (similar to C4). The Ford Taurus she was driving was filled with 750kgs of explosive, forming a force twice as powerful as the Oklahoma Bombing. The explosion was heard by several persons some up to 14 kilometres away. No trace of the car or the victim were ever found, only a 55-metre deep crater, and 500 metres of missing road.

    9- Patty Winter, 35 years old, was killed by her neighbour in the early hours of a Sunday morning. Her neighbor, Falt Hame, for years had a mounted F6 phantom jet engine in his rear yard. He would fire the jet engine, aimed at an empty block at the back of his property. Patty Winter would constantly complain to the local sheriff's officers about the noise and the potential risk of fire. Mr Hame was served with a notice to remove the engine immediately. Not liking this, he invited Miss Winter over for a cup of coffee and a chat about the whole situation. What Winter didn't know was that he had changed the position of the engine, as she walked into the yard he activated it, hitting her with a blast of 5,000 degrees, killing her instantly, and forever burning her outline into the driveway.

    10- Michael Lewis, angry at his gay boyfriend, used the movie, Die Hard, With a Vengeance as inspiration. He drugged his boyfriend, Tony Berry, into an almost catatonic state, then dressed him only in a double sided white board that read Death to all Niggers! on one side, and God Loves the KKK. On the other. Lewis then drove the victim to downtown Harlem and dropped him off. Two minutes later Berry was deceased.

  • It's always nice to be asked.

    On Wednesday I received an email from an old friend who I haven't seen for several years. He's in charge of organising the Rossington Music and Literature Festival near Doncaster. He's asked me if I'd like to contribute and if I know anyone else who might be interested in performing.

    I made a couple of tentative enquiries at the pub last night.

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