Minimalist poet, minimalist lifestyle

A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on
the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in
church?" One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."

*********

The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he
preached, he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mike
cord as he went. Then he moved to one side,
getting wound up in the cord and nearly tripping before jerking it
again. After several circles and jerks, a little girl in the third pew
leaned toward her mother and whispered, "If he gets loose, will he hurt us?"

*********

A ten-year old, under the tutelage of her grandmother, was
becoming quite knowledgeable about the Bible. Then one
day she floored her grandmother by asking, "Which
Virgin was the mother of Jesus? The virgin Mary or the
King James Virgin?"

*********

A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments.
They were ready to discuss the last one. The teacher
asked if anyone could tell her what it was. Susie raised her
hand, stood tall, and quoted, "Thou shall not take the covers
off thy neighbor's wife."

**********

One Sunday in a Midwest city, a young child was "acting up"
during the morning worship hour. The parents did their best
to maintain some sense of order in the pew but were losing
the battle. Finally, the father picked the little fellow up and
walked sternly up the aisle on his way out. Just before
reaching the safety of the foyer, the little one called loudly
to the congregation,"Pray for me! Pray for me!"

*******

And one particular four-year old prayed,"And forgive us our
trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."

*******

A little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if you can't make
me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time
like I am."

I've just had a visit from Andy; who's been staying for far longer than he was welcome at my friend's house [Read about it here] and he blatantly asked if he could stay for the weekend.

Knowing that was how he ended up staying for nearly six months at Mick's house I asserted myself and said 'no'. No reason given, just a firm and polite 'no.'

He's not going to impose on me.

In China, you must be intelligent in order to go to college.

In Denmark, no one may start a car while someone is underneath the vehicle.

In France, no pig may be addressed as Napoleon by its owner.

In Israel, picking your nose is illegal.

In Norway, you may not spay your female dog or cat. However, you may neuter the males of the species.

In Scotland, it is illegal to be drunk and in possession of a cow.

In Sweden, while prostitution is legal, it is illegal for anyone to use the services of a prostitute.

In Thailand, it is illegal to leave your house if you are not wearing underwear.

I'm assuming this is a true story.

A small bottle containing urine sat upon the desk of Sir William Osler, the eminent professor of medicine at Oxford University. Sitting before him was a class full of young, wide-eyed medical students, listening to his lecture on the importance of observing details.

To emphasize his point, Sir Osler announced: "This bottle contains a sample for analysis. It's often possible by tasting it to determine the disease from which the patient suffers."

He then dipped a finger into the fluid and brought it into his mouth. He continued speaking: "Now I am going to pass the bottle around. Each of you please do exactly as I did. Perhaps we can learn the importance of this technique and diagnose the case."

The bottle made it's way from row to row, each student gingerly poking his finger in and bravely sampling the contents with a frown.

Dr Osler then retrieved the bottle and startled his students by saying: "Gentlemen, now you will understand what I mean when I speak about details. Had you been observant, you would have seen that I put my INDEX FINGER in the bottle but my MIDDLE FINGER into my mouth!"