I’ve just phoned up the hospital to tell them that I won’t be attending tomorrow for my operation on my knee. I’m not feeling very well; I’ve picked up some sort of bug – I’ve got a temperature, a sore throat, am coughing up a lot of phlegm and ache all over. To be honest I’m rather relieved that the decision has been taken out of my hands. For a while now I’ve been having second thoughts about the operation. Yes, I’ll admit it, the prospect of surgery scares me: it’s not just the actual procedure but the fact that I’d possibly be up to several weeks hobbling about on crutches. I live on my own and there might have been occasions when I could have needed some help – my brother and parents live seven miles away and none of them drives and V…. [my recently acquired lady friend] lives four miles away and doesn’t drive either . Additionally she’s got family commitments – parents, siblings and children – which keep her busy. I’ve been discussing my concerns with my brother and a friend and they both have problems with their knees which seem to be probably worse than mine. My brother has been taking prescription painkillers and anti-inflammatory tablets for five years now and Dave has been regularly taking ibuprofen for even longer, and frequently needs to wear support stockings. So….I’ve decided, when my new appointment comes through that I’m going to inform them that I no longer wish to have the operation. Yes; my knee is occasionally a bit stiff, swollen or sore and it seems not to be as strong as it used to be, but I’m nearly forty five years old and don’t need a level of fitness that I required when I was younger and a lot more active – going for long, strenuous hikes on the moors every weekend.

Female Stages of Life

AGE - DRINK
17 Wine Coolers
25 White wine
35 Red wine
48 Dom Perignon
66 Shot of Jack with an Ensure chaser

AGE - EXCUSES FOR REFUSING DATES
17 Need to wash my hair
25 Need to wash and condition my hair
35 Need to color my hair
48 Need to have François color my hair
66 Need to have François color my wig

AGE- FAVORITE SPORT
17 Shopping
25 Shopping
35 Shopping
48 Shopping
66 Shopping

AGE - DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE
17 Burger King
25 Free meal
35 A diamond
48 A bigger diamond
66 Home Alone

AGE - FAVORITE FANTASY
17 Tall, dark and handsome
25 Tall, dark and handsome with money
35 Tall, dark and handsome with money and a brain
48 A man with hair
66 A man

AGE- WHAT S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED?
17 17
25 25
35 35
48 48
66 66

AGE- IDEAL DATE
17 He offers to pay
25 He pays
35 He cooks breakfast the next morning
48 He cooks breakfast the next morning for the kids
66 He can chew breakfast

Male Stages of Life

AGE - DRINK
17 Beer
25 Bourbon
35 Vodka
48 Double vodka
66 Maalox

AGE - SEDUCTION LINE
17 My parents are away for the weekend.
25 My girlfriend is away for the weekend.
35 My fiancée is away for the weekend.
48 My wife is away for the weekend.
66 My second wife is dead.

AGE - FAVORITE SPORT
17 Sex
25 Sex
35 Sex
48 Napping after Sex
66 Napping

AGE- DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE
17 Tongue
25 Breakfast
35 She didn't set back my therapy.
48 I didn't have to meet her kids.
66 Got home alive.

AGE - FAVORITE FANTASY
17 Getting to third
25 Airplane sex
35 Menage a trois
48 Taking the company public
66 Swiss maid/Nazi love slave

AGE- WHAT 'S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED?
17 25
25 35
35 48
48 66
66 17

AGE - IDEAL DATE
17 Triple Stephen King feature at a drive-in
25 Split the check before we go back to my place
35 Just come over.
48 Just come over and cook.
66 Sex in the company jet on the way to Vegas.

Wonder Butt Bra
US Patent Issued In 2002

Here's a cheeky idea, The Wonder Butt Bra! As the inventor explains; "In today's society both women and men have become increasingly more concerned with their appearance. A variety of approaches are being taken to improve one's physical appearance, including cosmetic surgery, exercise, dieting, as well as enhancements to the body shape acquired through the wearing of a variety of undergarments. The problem with these previous below-the-waist undergarments, is that none lifts, supports and shapes a person's buttocks similar to the underwire bra that is a fairly common undergarment for women today. While there have been a variety of devices that add padding or some other shape to the buttock, none actually lift it, while also giving it a desirable shape." Well said, my man.

Conveniently, the WBB is fully adjustable to fit all sizes of butts. Big butts, small butts, and all butts in between.