Minimalist poet, minimalist lifestyle

Egg-laying cows?

One in 10 eight-year-olds do not realise pork chops come from pigs - and some even believe cows lay eggs.

A new survey also reveals nearly two out of 10 children had no idea where yoghurt came from.

And eight per cent of city youngsters did not realise beefburgers came from cows - compared to 3% who live in the country.

Two per cent of urban kids thought cows produced eggs. But all children knew milk came from cows.

The Dairy Farmers of Britain asked more than 1,000 children aged eight to 15 where they thought eggs, cheese, yoghurt, bacon, pork chops and beefburgers came from.

A spokesman said: "A significant proportion, particularly those living in the city, are unaware of the process involved in making their food."

1. Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before

2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits

3. Parties: Going Without New Outfits

4. Man Management: Minor Household Chores Can Wait Till After The Game

5. Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet Too.

6. Bathroom Etiquette II: His Razor is His

7. Communication Skills I: Tears - The Last Resort, not the First.

8. Communication Skills II: Thinking Before Speaking

9. Communication Skills III: Getting What you Want Without Nagging

10. Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire

11. Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up

12. Introduction to Parking

13. Advanced Parking: Backing Into a Space

14. Water Retention: Fact or Fat

15. Cooking I: Bringing Back Bacon, Eggs and Butter

16. Cooking II: Bran and Tofu are Not for Human Consumption

17. Cooking III: How not to Inflict Your Diets on Other People

18. Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully

19. PMS: Your Problem . . . Not His

20. Dancing: Why Men Don't Like To

21. Classic Clothing: Wearing Outfits You Already Have

22. Household Dust: A Harmless Natural Occurrence Only Women Notice

23. Integrating Your Laundry: Washing It All Together

24. Oil and Gas: Your Car Needs Both

25. TV Remotes: For Men Only

This is the title of a PowerPoint presentation I'll be giving later this morning at work as part of my Further Key Skills Level 3 course.

I don't give a toss about the qualification; but it will give me a good excuse to have a rant about something which I know a lot about. It needs to be at least eight minutes long; I think it will last quite a bit longer than that though.