Minimalist poet, minimalist lifestyle

A Romanian woman needed medical help after she swallowed her lover's false teeth during a moment of passion.

The 38-year-old woman, from Galati, went to hospital with stomach pains claiming she had swallowed a foreign object but without saying what it was.

Doctors were surprised when the x-ray showed false teeth in her stomach.

Eventually she admitted she gulped down the denture while experimenting a 'special type of passionate kiss' with her boyfriend.

After spending two days in hospital, the foreign object left the woman's body the natural way.

A Blackpool pensioner has been threatened with legal action if he puts sand which blew into his garden back on the beach.

Council officials threatened to prosecute Arthur Bulmer, 79, who lives opposite the beach in St Anne's, Lancs, for fly-tipping.

And if found guilty he could be fined £50,000 or even go to jail, reports the Mirror.

Storms left gardens, roads and footpaths in St Anne's covered in tons of sand up to 20ft deep.

Mr Bulmer said: "I think it's crazy. I am sure my sand is cleaner than the stuff on the beach because that gets covered in dog muck. The sand is not my property. It has just invaded my garden from over the road."

The civic-minded pensioner said he was just trying to do what is right for the environment and save the council a job.

He added: "Now I will have to use a specialist waste disposal firm and that will cost £500."

Fylde borough council said: "The council has no responsibility to clear sand from private land, the owner must do this. However, dumping anything from your garden on to the beach constitutes fly-tipping."

Strippers in Italy are offering a year's free entry to their show for anyone who finds their missing poodle.

The girls, who work at the Gilda 2 sex shop and strip club in Viareggio, made the offer as soon as their pampered poodle Gianni went missing.

One of the strippers said: "Since we made the offer we have had lots of responses, but so far none of the dogs we have been shown have turned out to be our little Gianni."

Three teenagers may be on the hook for a hefty fine if a court decides that their festive firecrackers outside an eastern German farm scared the libido right out of an ostrich named Gustav.

Rico Gabel, a farmer in Lohsa, northeast of Dresden, is claiming $6,450 in damages for the alleged antics of the three youths, ages 17-18, between Dec. 27 and 29, 2005.

According to his lawsuit, the farmer claims that fireworks set off by the boys made the previously lustful Gustav both apathetic and depressed, and thus unable to perform for a half-a-year with his two female breeding partners.

Before Gustav regained his sex drive in the second half of the year, the farmer estimates he lost out on 14 ostrich offspring _ worth $460 apiece.

The suit is due to be heard next Monday in a regional court in nearby Bautzen, the court said Monday. The teenagers' names were not released.

10. Pays better than McDonald's (though the hours aren't as good.)

9. Fashionable shoes and sexy uniforms.

8. Needles: 'tis better to give than to receive.

7. Confidence in reassuring patients that all bleeding stops ... eventually.

6. Opportunity to expose yourself to rare, exotic, and exciting new diseases.

5. Interesting aromas.

4. Courteous and infallible doctors who always leave clear orders in perfectly clear handwriting.

2. Celebration of holidays with all your friends ... at work.

1. Comfort in the knowledge that most of your patients survive no matter what you do to them.