Minimalist poet, minimalist lifestyle

A guy was seated next to a 10-year-old girl on an aeroplane. Being bored, he turned to the girl and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

The girl, who was reading a book, closed it slowly and said to the guy, "What would you like to talk about?"

Oh, I don't know," said the guy. "How about nuclear power?"

"OK," she said. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow and a deer all eat the same stuff... grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"

The guy thought about it and said, "Hmmm, I have no idea."

To which the girl replied, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know sh*t?"

A Spanish hotel chain is running a competition for stressed executives to let off steam in a fashion usually reserved for rock stars -- by smashing hotel rooms.

NH Hoteles will allow 30 people chosen by a team of psychologists to help demolish the interior of the 11-year old NH Alcala hotel in central Madrid as part of its refurbishment, it said.

The chosen 30, armed with mallet and hard hat, can destroy any part of the 146-room building, NH said, from bringing down walls to smashing windows.

The demolition will take place on July 3.

From Yesterday's Daily Telegraph.

Bin bag 'spy camera' to enforce refuse rules

A council is to hide a camera in a bin bag to catch residents who do not follow new rules about putting out the rubbish.

A spy camera will be put in a rubbish bag left in an alleyway

Householders in a seaside town have been told to put their bins out at the front of their homes and not in an alleyway to the rear.

They must also leave their rubbish out between set times to ensure it does not attract pests or miss the dust cart.

To enforce the new rules, a camera will be placed in a rubbish bag and left in an alleyway to blend in with the surroundings to catch offenders. Those filmed breaking the rules will be given a ticking off.

Repeat offenders could be handed a fixed penalty notice or even be taken to court and fined up to £1,000.

The tiny covert camera, which has cost Weymouth and Portland Council, Dorset, up to £10,000, will also help catch householders who put their rubbish out too early or too late.

The initiative has shocked local taxpayers. The spy camera is being introduced in the Park district in Weymouth, an area that suffers from fly-tipping. Residents in the area will have to follow strict rules which come into force on June 22.

They will only be allowed to put out their rubbish between 8pm and 6am the night before collection and it will have to be at the front of their homes.

Peter Bury, the council environmental health officer, said the camera will help enforce the new rules but also catch fly-tippers, graffiti artists and drug dealers.

He said: "As well as the alleyways we will also place the camera in bushes or a brick wall to catch fly tippers, and drug dealers."

Mr Bury said the device will not be hooked up to a control room and staff will study the footage after a few hours filming.

He said refuse collectors will be alerted as to when and where it will placed in bin bags to stop them carting it off as rubbish. In March, a London borough announced plans to hide cameras in tin cans and bricks to catch out offenders.

Ealing council in west London said the hidden cameras would catch people committing "major envirocrimes".

More than 30 councils have already secretly fitted microchips to wheelie bins as the Government comes under increasing pressure to increase recycling rates.

On Friday I did the psychometric test at the group therapy sessions I've been attending.

According the results I'm a sociopath, am totally unable to empathise with any other human being, yet would make an excellent military leader on the battlefield.

Maybe this is why no-one has ever offered me employment.

I don't know.