Minimalist poet, minimalist lifestyle

A farmer just got married and was going home on his wagon pulled by a team of horses. When one of the hoses stumbled, he said, "That's once."

Then it stumbled again. He said, "That's twice."
Then later it stumbled a third time. This time, he didn't say anything, just pulled out a shotgun and shot the horse dead.

His wife cried out and started to yell at him. The farmer turned to her and said, "That's once."

A squirrel went on the rampage in Germany and attacked several people before it was killed by a pensioner with his zimmer frame.

The squirrel attacked a 70-year-old woman and a 33-year-old builder in Passau, Bavaria, biting and scratching them.

But when it tried to attack 72-year-old Guenther Mittelbaum he hit it with his zimmer frame, knocking it to the ground before squashing it.

He said: "It was biting and scratching and was almost impossible to fight off. I got in a lucky blow though and then saw my chance and crushed it to death."

Tests revealed the animal did not have rabies and vets and police are investigating why the animal would have suddenly attacked people.

An Amish woman and her son are walking through a mall for the first time, totally stunned by everything they see.

They are especially fascinated by two silver walls which slide together and then apart.

They both walk up closer to the sliding silver walls. They see a fat, little old man waddle inside and watch as the doors close behind her.

The mother and son can't believe their eyes when minutes later, the silver doors open and a tall, well-built stud strides out.

The mother then turns to the son and says, "Son, go and get your father."