Minimalist poet, minimalist lifestyle

Dentist mistaken for safe-breaker

German police who stormed a house expecting to find crooks drilling their way into a safe found a dentist working a night shift.

Neighbours heard the drilling noises at night at the flat used as a dental surgery in Moenchengladbach, Germany, and called police who sent five patrol cars to the address.

After hearing the drilling noises, police officers broke down the door - only to find dentist Hannes Mader working a late shift on a patient.

When I was consumed with my voluntary work in the Dearne Valley I was also very critical of the local councillors; all of whom happened to be Labour at the time. On one occasion one prominent Labour supporter challenged me to stop complaining and actually do something if I thought I could do any better…so I investigated how to become a candidate in the local elections.

Once I discovered that there is no deposit to pay and I would only require ten local signatures I decided to go ahead with it, calling my party the DearneValley People's Party. I was a candidate in Thurnscoe, where I lived, and this was the first time in many years that the people of this ward actually had a choice of candidates to vote for.

When a local journalist was interviewing me she asked me if I'd be successful. I carefully chose my words and replied, "As I consequence of my candidacy in Thurnscoe there will be one less Labour councillor in the Dearne Valley.' Of course I was proven right; I didn't get elected - I didn't have a clue what I was doing but still got ten percent of the vote. However, the Labour Party diverted so many of its resources from elsewhere to campaign against me that it neglected these other areas and a Liberal Democrat councillor was elected at Mexborough.