Minimalist poet, minimalist lifestyle

On several occasions I have blogged about how I am attending a pilot group therapy session with an occupational psychologist aimed at long-term unemployed people such as myself, and how positive I feel about the project.

Last week we were set the task of writing down any issues that were currently concerning us. Since I'm 45 years old and have never had a job there are a lot of issues bouncing about in my head.

Here's the transcript from my notebook.

Why do I want a job?

Money/status/peer, or social pressure
A role/place in society
I'm lonely/bored/unfulfilled
Need to know who I am - what I'm capable of
Learn new skills?
What I would/could do with a regular income - I've never had one and so this might be difficult
Use money to join in, or opt out?
I'm not comfortable with concept of personal preference and free choice and I might get overwhelmed

Who am I?
Leader, or follower?
Work alone, or in a group?
Good team player?
Routine or challenge/excitement?
Work with regular colleagues, or contact with public?
Health issues
What inspires me?
What are my priorities in life?
Prejudices/attitudes/morals
What motivates me?
Personal appearance/behaviour/mannerisms
Personality???

Is my situation/are my circumstances unique?
Lack of social contact
Is it too late? Am I too old?
What am I prepared to accept/put up with?
Awkward body language
Poor interpretation in others
People are scared of me!

Practical help and support.
Sheltered employment. Therapeutic work.
Acceptance of my circumstances by others.
Driving lessons???
Problems with attitudes of others towards unemployment.
People think I choose to be unemployed and treat me worse than they would a criminal.
Trapped by benefits system - 'Social Wage' : benefits reform
I NEED SOMEONE TO HAVE FAITH IN ME!!!

Punctual. Obsessed with timekeeping.
Other obsessions: language, geography, picking my eyelashes, statistics
Good time management? Prioritisation of tasks?
H & S issues - I'm clumsy and got a squint…I'm tall.
I'm not PC.

What brings me joy? Beauty - countryside/buildings/art. Being with people. Recognition/praise from others. Knowing that I've done a good job/my best.
A fair day's work for a fair day's work.
TRUTH TRUTH
Physicality/intimacy
Touch/smell/taste/sound
TRUTH TRUTH
- whatever the consequences

LOST
Don't know what's expected from me.
Where do I fit in?
I'm homo sapiens, but no longer a human being. SOUL
Feel my humanity squashed out of me by unemployment; bitter/resentful/angry
A KEPT MAN

No job; therefore maybe still not passed through adolescent years. Rites of passage.
Many people are actually jealous of me - they think I've got all the answers and are some type of rebel or lifestyle guru.
I need to belong. I'm not a member of any identifiable group that receives special privileges.
BORN IN THE WRONG PLACE AT THE WRONG TIME!
Regret taking advice of parents and teachers - studying and going to college.

Earlier today I was in a shop and I overheard an old woman talking to her friend. In her hand she was holding a particular brand of gel-based air freshener saying how she had to throw it in the bin because it smelled very unpleasant. I thought she meant that the bin smelled very unpleasant and was ready to jump in, taking the opportunity to criticise the local coucil's policy of only emptying domestic bins once a fortnight...however, a few seconds late I realised that she had thrown the air freshener in the bin because the air freshener smelled unpleasant.

Landlord forced to live in own building

A US landlord has been ordered to live in one of his apartment buildings with no heating or hot water.

A judge told Richard Naumann to suffer along with the tenants of his two apartment blocks in Cleveland, Ohio.

Lakewood Municipal Judge Patrick Carroll ordered Naumann to wear an electronic tagging device to make sure he complies with the house arrest order, reports the Cleveland Plain Dealer.

Naumann, 47, is allowed to leave the apartment only to go to work between 8am and 6pm.

The house arrest will continue until the judge is assured the buildings are in compliance, Assistant Law Director Thomas Corrigan said.

Gas was cut off more than a month ago at Naumann's apartment buildings because he owes the local gas company nearly £60,000, according to court records.