Minimalist poet, minimalist lifestyle

A grizzled old man was eating in a truck stop when three dangerous looking bikers walked in.
The first walked up to the old man, pushed his cigarette into the old man's pie and then took a seat at the counter.
The second walked up to the old man, spit into the old man's milk and then he took a seat at the counter.
The third walked up to the old man, turned over the old man's plate, and then he took a seat at the counter.
Without a word of protest, the old man quietly left the diner.
Shortly thereafter, one of the bikers said to the waitress, "Humph, not much of a man, was he?"
The waitress replied, "Not much of a truck driver either. He just backed his truck over three motorcycles."

The Hell family says it may tell a Catholic school in Australia where to go after it objected to enrolling their son because of his name.

Officials said the boy had been offered a place at the St. Peter the Apostle school in the southern city of Melbourne after discussions between the principal, the parish priest and the family over his name.

But Alex Hell said he would rather send 5-year-old Max elsewhere because the school balked at taking the boy over his family name.

"We are the victims of our name," Hell said Monday.

Hell said he and his wife approached St. Peter the Apostle school about enrolling Max because the boy was being bullied at his current school because of his name, the Herald Sun newspaper reported on its Web site.

The Catholic school supported a plan to enroll Max using his mother's maiden name, Wembridge, but then withdrew its invitation when the parents changed their minds about the name, Hell said. The school backed down and offered Max a place only when Hell took the issue to the media, he said.

"The school has turned around and said Max can go there, but why would you want to go there after being victimized?" Hell said.

The family was considering moving to his wife's hometown to find a different school, he said.

Director of Catholic Education in Victoria state, Stephen Elder, said using the boy's mother's name was the parents' idea to "assist the child in the transition of schools."

"After discussions between the parish priest and principal, St. Peter the Apostle School has made an offer of enrollment to the student," Elder said in a statement. "The school is working with the family in the best interests of the child."

Hell said he had Austrian heritage and that the name means "bright."

Baseball player not signing enough autographs?

A sports memorabilia company is suing Boston Red Sox star David Ortiz -- claiming the popular slugger does not sign enough autographs.

Steiner Sports Marketing is seeking at least $1 million in damages from the 31-year-old Dominican, in a lawsuit filed on Friday in New York state court.

The lawsuit charged that Ortiz consistently fell short of the autograph quota to which he agreed and that he lent his autograph to competing companies.

Ortiz also failed to appear at signing sessions or at corporate meet-and-greet events, as his contract requires, the lawsuit said.

According to the suit, Ortiz entered into an exclusive contract with Steiner in 2004 to provide 8,000 autographed memorabilia for sale and to participate in up to four two-hour-long autograph sessions.

Representatives for Ortiz and the Red Sox were not immediately available for comment.

Tiny brain OK for civil servant

A man with an unusually tiny brain managed to live an entirely normal life as a civil servant.

Scans of the 44-year-old man's brain showed a huge fluid-filled chamber took up most of his skull.

French researchers say it left room for little more than a thin sheet of actual brain tissue.

"He was a married father of two children, and worked as a civil servant," Dr Lionel Feuillet of the Universite de la Mediterranee in Marseille wrote in a letter to the Lancet medical journal.

The man went to a hospital after he had mild weakness in his left leg.

When Dr Feuillet's staff took his medical history, they learned he had had a shunt inserted into his head to drain away water on the brain as an infant.

The researchers were astonished when scans showed a "massive enlargement" of the lateral ventricles - usually tiny chambers that hold the fluid that cushions the brain.

Intelligence tests showed the man had an IQ of 75, below the average score of 100 but not considered mentally retarded or disabled, either.

"What I find amazing to this day is how the brain can deal with something which you think should not be compatible with life," said Dr Max Muenke, a brain specialist at the National Human Genome Research Institute.

"If something happens very slowly over quite some time, maybe over decades, the different parts of the brain take up functions that would normally be done by the part that is pushed to the side."

Would-be PM sings wrong anthem

Belgium's prime minister-in-waiting is in trouble after it emerged he couldn't remember his country's national anthem.

Yves Leterme burst into the opening line of France's anthem La Marseillaise after TV reporters asked if he knew Belgium's La Brabanconne.

His gaffe was quickly posted on YouTube, attracting tens of thousands of viewers, reports the Daily Telegraph.

To make matters worse for Leterne, who has previously irked Belgium's French speakers by saying they were too stupid or unwilling to learn Flemish, he made the gaffe on Belgium's National Day.

He was then caught out by another question, again on television, revealing that he did not know why Belgium has its national day on July 21.

Leterme's response to the ensuing row has only alarmed his critics further.

"I have much more important things to do than this crap. Those who are after me will pay for it sooner or later," he said.