Minimalist poet, minimalist lifestyle

Sometimes it's better just a lose stroke.

A golfer in Florida could have lost an arm while he was trying to retrieve a ball on the sixth hole at the Lake Venice Golf Club. A nearly eleven-foot alligator latched on to Bruce Burger's right arm when he reached into a pond to get his ball. He used his free to arm to whack the gator until it released him.
A spokesman for the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission says Burger was taken to hospital but wasn't seriously hurt. Course officials note there's a "Beware of Alligator" sign at the sixth hole. Course general manager Rod Parry says it's just "part of Florida."

I'm not a driver and there are a couple of terms that I often hear on news reports about traffic accidents and I'm not sure what they actually mean.

Firstly; on a motorway, is the inside lane next to the central reservation, or the hard shoulder?

Secondly, is the offside of a vehicle the side where the driver sits [right-hand drive] or where the passenger sits?

Family steal own roof

A Polish family in a block of flats stole their own roof after working out they would not get wet if it rained.

The theft was in the town of Bytom in south-west of Poland where extra cops have been drafted after authorities complained thefts were now such a problem that nothing was safe.

A police spokesman said: "One family occupying the ground floor of an apartment block worked out that they would not get flooded if there was no roof on the building, so they stole it."

Lightning conductors, gutterings, drainpipes and even radiators had been stolen from public buildings in recent months, they added.

They said crooks were stealing from building sites at night after workers had gone home, as well as empty schools and council buildings left deserted during the summer and from people's houses.

A spokesman for the local council said: "The thieves are stealing so much, that at this rate there will be nothing of the town left."

A new martial arts video in China reportedly teaches men how to make their crotch as hard as iron.

In the video, a monk named Shi Yanwu demonstrates Tiedang Gong - or 'Iron Crotch Kung Fu' - by having another monk kick him in the privates.

He is also shown with another monk hanging by a rope from his penis, and using his penis to pull a heavy stone roller.

The video claims that by practising the martial art, "a man can not only protect himself better, but also improve his sexual agility and potency."

The monk claims he learnt the technique at Shaolin temple, the Mecca of Kung Fu, but now is the last monk with this ability, reports Xinmin Net.

While denying any connection to the monk, the temple confirmed the existence of Tiedang Gong but insisted it was "to do with health not sex".

I'm running late this morning. I've had to wait to see someone at Reed In Partnership and queue at two different banks; all because my payment details haven't been entered onto the computer yet.

A 78-year-old tramp who can tell the time without a watch has become an internet star.

Gordon Roberts, who lives in Bournemouth, has had a site dedicated to him on Facebook, reports the Sun.

And it already has more than 4,500 members after just a few weeks.

Gordon was already well known in Bournemouth for his extraordinary ability to know the time within two minutes without wearing a watch.

Local man Chris Kimber, 24, decided to set up an appreciation group on networking site Facebook.

But people from all over the UK began signing up - and users from Australia, America and South Africa are now joining the fun.

Creator Chris, a Bournemouth University student, said: "I thought it'd be fun to set up a group around Gordon, but I did not expect it to take off."

Fans have even arranged a party for members - who must dress like their hero - in Poole on July 29.

When asked about his fame, Gordon said: "I heard about it, but I don't know much about it."