Minimalist poet, minimalist lifestyle

Overweight residents of an Italian town will be paid to lose weight, the mayor said on Monday.

Men living in the northwestern Italian town of Varallo will receive 50 euros ($70) for losing 4 kg (9 pounds) in a month, Mayor Gianluca Buonanno said. Women will get the same amount for shedding 3 kg (7 pounds).

If they can keep the weight off for 5 months, they will get another 200 euros ($280), he told Reuters.

"Lots of people are saying, 'I really need to lose some weight but it's really tough.' So I thought, why don't we go on a group diet?" said Buonanno, who said he was about 6 kg (13 pounds) overweight.

The town of 7,500 people started the campaign on Friday and some residents have already signed up, he said.

Around 35 percent of Italians are overweight or obese, according to European Union figures, with waistlines expanding as the country's healthy Mediterranean diet has given way to processed foods rich in fat, sugar and salt.

A 54-year-old man continued to drive a large motorcycle about 2 kilometers Monday after hitting the crash barrier on a motorway and losing his right leg below the knee in Hamamatsu, Shizuoka Prefecture, police said Tuesday.
Kazuo Osada, a salaried worker, was unaware of the loss of his leg until he drove the distance apparently because his attention was focused on the strong pain he felt from the crash, the police said.
The police said Osada failed to negotiate a left turn and hit the barrier in a west-bound lane of Route 1's Hamana bypass in Hamamatsu at around 6:30 a.m. Monday.
Osada, who was on his way to Gifu Prefecture in a group of about 10 friends, did not fall in the accident and continued the ride before noticing part of his leg was missing, the police said.

I've just spent half an hour trying to replace a broken light fitting, but I've given up because my arms ache and I was beginning to feel dizzy. I've taped it up to make it safe and informed my landlord. He's got a young lad who does many of his minor repair jobs for him; it might be a while until he gets around to doing it, but it's not a priority: I've got a desk lamp that I'm using at the moment.

An Australian man has told how he spent a week up a tree in a crocodile-infested swamp and lived to tell the tale.

David George, a Cape York stockman, was finally rescued by helicopter in the bush near Coen, in the state's remote far north.

"Every night I was stalked by two crocs who would sit at the bottom of the tree staring up at me," Mr George told The Courier-Mail.

"I'd yell out at them, 'I'm not falling out of this tree for you bastards'."

Dazed and bleeding after a tumble from his horse, Mr George found himself in the heart of a swamp - and then fell straight into a crocodile nest.

"I couldn't go back, it was too far and too dangerous, so I headed to the nearest high ground and stayed there, hoping someone would come and find me before the crocs did," he said.

He tried in vain to attract the attention of airborne search teams, including flashing sunlight off his tobacco tin, waving his shirt on a stick and spreading toilet paper in the tree branches.

Three days into his ordeal and his food supply of two meat sandwiches was gone.

"If I hadn't seen the crocs circling me, and if I hadn't fallen into the croc nest, I would have made a push for it. But I knew the safest thing was for me to sit tight and wait."

On the eighth day of his ordeal, the missing stockman was found after a search involving the Australian Army, police and Aboriginal trackers.

There was an old cowhand who owned a small ranch in Montana. The Montana Wage & Hour Department claimed he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to interview him.
“I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them,” demanded the agent.
“Well,” replied the rancher, “There’s my ranch hand who’s been with me for 3 years. I pay him $600 a week plus free room and board.”
“The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $500 per week plus free room and board.”
“Then there’s the half-wit who works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night.”
“That’s the guy I want to talk to, the half-wit,” says the agent.
“That would be me,” replied the rancher.