Minimalist poet, minimalist lifestyle

John and Joe were twins. John had a boat. Joe had a wife. On the same day, John's boat sank and Joe's wife died.

An elderly woman ran into John downtown. She told him (thinking he was Joe) how sorry she was to hear of his loss.

John replied,"Oh, don't be sorry- I'm not. She was old and smelled like fish. She had a big hole in the back and a large crack in the front, and every time I used her that hole got bigger and she leaked. But I think what did her in was when I rented her out to six guys that were just out looking for some fun. I told them that she wasn't in very good shape and that her bottom was covered with slime, but they wanted to try her out anyway. From what I heard, all six tried to get in her at once, and split her in two."

The old woman fainted.

Everything's now up-to-date.

I've finally managed to scan in all of my published poetry and post it on my poetry blog, Lost Among Equals. It's amounted to 165 posts in total.

From now on I'll just be posting in the blog when I have any new poetry published.

A baby was born in Liverpool at 8.08am on the eighth day of the eighth month weighing 8lbs after her mum endured eight hours of labour.

Mel Byrne, 31, gave birth to Lulu with help from Chinese-born midwife Bea Fung, who helped deliver eight babies that day, reports the Daily Mirror.

Mrs Fung said: "In Chinese culture the number eight is considered very lucky. I was watching the clock as the birth approached and was counting the minutes and she arrived at just the right time.

"Straight away I told Mel and Pete their daughter was very lucky indeed."

Mrs Fung, who has been at Liverpool Women's Hospital for 33 years, added: "The number of eights linked to Lulu is incredible. I consider myself very lucky to have been there."

The couple, from Woolton, Liverpool, already have a two-year-old daughter, Maisy.

Photographer Peter, 30, said: "Bea was very excited and kept telling us how lucky we were and how lucky Lulu is.

"I think I will be letting Lulu choose the lottery numbers as soon as she is old enough."