Minimalist poet, minimalist lifestyle

A Romanian man has been sacked after his mother visited him at work - minutes after he told his boss she had just died.

Florin Radu Hretu, 27, from Pascani in Iasi county, had just asked to borrow some money to pay for her funeral.

He has given the equivalent of £150 but had to immediately pay it back when his mother turned up a few minutes later.

He was also fired and is also being investigated by police for fraud.

A spokesman for the prosecutor's office, Liviu Beceru, said: "The young man tried to defend himself saying he received a call in which he was being informed about his mother death but refused to say who that person was."

At a recent open house at a suburban high school, a parent wandered into a teacher's office that was empty, and looked around the room. Posted on the bulletin board was a list of sentences that the teacher's students have written on exam papers through the years. Other teachers contributed to the collection, too. The parent couldn't resist copying the list of sentences, including these gems of creativity:

Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the Organ of the Spices.

Benjamin Franklin produced electricity by rubbing cats backwards.

The theory of evolution was greatly objected to because it made men think.

There are three kinds of blood vessels; the arteries, veins and caterpillars.

The dodo is a bird that is nearly decent now.

A thermometer is an instrument for raising temperance.

A litre is a nest of young baby animals.

When you haven't got enough iodine in your blood, you'll get a glacier.

It is a well-known fact that a deceased body warps the mind.

The human is more intelligent than the beast because the human has more convulsions.

To remove dust from the eye: pull the eye over the nose.

For head colds: use an agonizer to spray nose until it drops into your throat.

For snake bite: bleed the wound and rape the victim in a blanket for shock.

For asphyxiation: apply artificial respiration until the patient is dead.

The process of turning steam into water again is called conversation.

A magnet is something you find in a bad apple.

The school is ventilated by hot currants.

To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube.

Parallel lines never meet unless you bend one or both of them.

Typhoid fever may be prevented by fascinations.

Algebraic symbols are used when you don't know what you're talking about.

Geometry teaches us to bisex Angles.

The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects.

If conditions are not favorable, bacteria go into a period of adolescence.

Dew is formed on the leaves when the sun makes them perspire.

Sea water is has the formula CH20

A triangle which has an angle of 135 degrees is called an obscene triangle.

The hydra gets its food by descending upon its pray and pushing it into its mouth with its testicles.

Blood flows down one leg and up the other.

The cerebrum is a cavity in the head.

The hookworm larva enters the human body through the soul.

Question: What do Catherine the Great, Attila the Hun and Jabba the Hutt have in common?

Answer: The same middle name.

Little Johnny was only 12-years-old. He had been hearing a lot about courting from the older boys, so he asked his mother what and how it was done.

She told him to hide behind the curtains one night and watch his older sister and her boyfriend. This Johnny did, and this is what Johnny told his mother later.

"Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for awhile, then they turned off the lights, all but the blue one. Then the boyfriend began kissing her and putting his hand under her blouse.

"Pretty soon they began to pant and get out of breath, and then he took his hand from inside her blouse and put it under her dress. When he did this, Sis began to moan, sigh, squirm, and scoot down toward the edge of the couch, until soon she was lying down. Then he unzipped his pants and pulled out a big eel about 10" long. It was standing up and he had it in his hand to keep it from getting away. Sis started to help him and they both wrestled it. Finally, Sis held it while he took a muzzle out of his pocket and slipped it over the eel's head to keep it from biting. Sis had both hands on it, and she spread both her legs to she could get a better hold on it.

He helped her by laying on the eel. Soon they got the eel between them, and Sis wrapped her arms and legs around her boyfriend and they started to wrestle that darned eel between them, and that eel put up one hell of a fight. Sis squealed and her boyfriend almost upset the couch, and for a minute I thought the darned thing was going to get away from them, but Sis grabbed it just as it was going to get away from them and stuck it back between her legs. Pretty soon they gave a big long sigh and grunted and stopped moving.

"Her boyfriend got up and they sure had killed that eel because he hung, limber as a hot water bottle, with some of its insides hanging out. Sis and her boyfriend were all tired out from the battle. They started loving and kissing again, and by gosh, that eel came out and wanted to fight again. Sis gave a squeal and grabbed it in record time, and the way they both wrestled and battled with it-it was the best wrestling match I ever saw. This time they had a longer struggle, but Sis and her boyfriend finally won!

They really killed him this time because her boyfriend pulled its skin off and flushed it down the toilet."