Minimalist poet, minimalist lifestyle

I've just watched the clip, and it seems very amateurish to me; not gory at all.'

An ITV talent show that featured an illusionist who pretended to chop off his hand before cutting open an assistant with a power-saw broke broadcasting rules, a watchdog said on Monday.

Ofcom said Dr Gore's blood-soaked performance on "Britain's Got Talent" was unsuitable for weekend family viewing.

Dr Gore had reached the semi-final of the ITV series to find an up-and-coming act to play before the Queen at the Royal Variety Performance.

The show's hosts, Ant and Dec, warned viewers that he "wasn't for the faint-hearted". Ant said: "He can make an entire audience feel sick in seconds".

Dr Gore walked on stage in black leather biker boots and a blood-stained doctor's coat.

He appeared to slice off his hand with a large knife before asking the audience: "Do you want to see some gore?"

He then took an electric rotary saw to a young helper lying on a trolley and pretended to rip out his organs.

The act ended when the three judges -- Simon Cowell, Piers Morgan and Amanda Holden -- said they'd seen enough.

Cowell said: "It was horrific. It wasn't even magic."

The show went out at 7:45 p.m. on June 16. Twenty-one people complained to the media watchdog.

Nearly 26,000 people have watched the performance on YouTube, www.youtube.com/watch?v=QYhevO1LhyE.

The show's makers said they had asked Dr Gore to tone down his act and had made sure the presenters warned the audience about what to expect.

Producers said the act was more pantomime than horror.

A Scottish farmer's wife says her horse saved her life after it fought off a cow that was attacking her.

Fiona Boyd, 40, feared she was going to be crushed to death by the cow after it kicked her to the ground, then rolled on top of her.

She says she survived only because her horse, Kerry, raced to the rescue and kicked the cow until it moved off her.

Mrs Boyd told The Scotsman: "I am in no doubt Kerry saved me. If she hadn't been grazing in the same pasture, I really believe I would have been killed. Kerry was fantastic. She saved my life."

Mrs Boyd, a mother of two, was alone at home on her family farm at Chapmanton, near Castle Douglas, Kirkcudbrightshire, when she heard the cries of a young calf in distress.

She went outside to see the calf had become separated from its mother and decided to move the calf and its mother into a shed together.

But as she approached the calf, its mother finally heard its distressed cries and charged at Mrs Boyd, knocking her to the ground.

As she tried to get to her feet, the cow butted her and shouldered her again to the ground, before dropping its full weight on top of her.

As she scrambled for cover, she saw her 15-year-old chestnut mare kicking wildly at the cow. As the horse hit out at the cow, Mrs Boyd managed to crawl 20ft to safety under an electric fence.

Mrs Boyd alerted her husband, Matt, 44, who had been working in another field, and who took her to hospital.

She said: "Cows are normally placid animals, but during calving they become very protective. I shouldn't have tried to move the calf through the herd on my own, and I certainly won't be doing it again."

An elderly couple had been dating for some time and decided it was finally time to marry. Before the wedding they embarked on a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work. They discussed finances, living arrangements and so on.

Finally the old man decided it was time to broach the subject of their connubial relationship. "How do you feel about sex?" he asked, rather hopefully.

"Well, I'd have to say I like it infrequently," she responded.

The old guy paused....then he asked, "Was that one word or two?"