Minimalist poet, minimalist lifestyle

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon,a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"

A Serbian pensioner has celebrated his retirement by moving into a house that he built entirely out of plastic bottles.

It took five years and 13,500 bottles for Tomislav Radovanovic, from the central town of Kragujevac, to build the 60 sq m house.

He told the national news agency Tanjug that he hopes to enter the Guinness Book of Records.

Only the foundation of the property is concrete, and all other parts of the house are made of plastic bottles that he had been collecting for years.

Even the kitchen furniture and windows are made of plastic bottles.

Radovanovic, who worked as a professor of mathematics before he retired, said his former students had helped him build the property by collecting bottles.

Arm-wrestling machine recalled

A Japanese arm wresting machine has been recalled after three players broke their arms.

The Arm Spirit arm wrestling games enable contestants to battle opponents including a French maid, a drunken martial arts master and a Chihuahua dog.

Distributor Atlus said it would remove all 150 Arm Spirit arm wrestling machines from Japanese arcades after the injuries.

However, the company blamed customers for misusing the device, reports the Daily Telegraph.

"The machine isn't that strong, much less so than a muscular man. Even women should be able to beat it," said Ayano Sakiyama, an Atlus spokeswoman. She described the recall as "a precaution."

"We think that maybe some players get overexcited and twist their arms in an unnatural way," she added.

The company was investigating the incidents and checking the machines for any signs of malfunction.

Players of Arm Spirit advance through 10 levels culminating in a final showdown with a professional wrestler. The arcade machine is not distributed overseas.

A young executive was leaving the office at 6pm when he found the CEO (Chief Executive Officer) standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in hand.

"Listen," said the CEO, "this is important, and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?"

"Certainly," said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.

"Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine. "I just need one copy."

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday morning; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them is hurt. God works in mysterious ways.

After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt! This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days".

Flattered, the man replies, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely, this must be a sign from God!"

The woman continues, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune." Then she hands the bottle to the man.

The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle and immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man. The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"

The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police...."