Minimalist poet, minimalist lifestyle

Two neighbouring farmers, John and John, went to the local Farmers Fair , where they both bought a pig. When they got home, John asked John how they would tell who owned which pig as they seemed to be the same size and age.
"Well," said John, "I'll cut off one of my pig's ears. How's that?"
"Fine, I guess," said the other John.
This worked until a couple of weeks later when John stormed into the house.
"John," he said. "Your pig has chewed the ear off my pig. Now we have two pigs with one ear each. How are we going to tell who owns which pig now?"
"Well John," said John. "I'll cut the other ear off my pig. Then we'll have two pigs and only one of them will have an ear."
"Ah there's a good idea," said John.
Again this worked fine until another couple of weeks later when John stormed into the house again.
"John," he said. "Your pig has chewed the other ear off my pig. Now we've got two pigs with no ears. How are we going to tell who owns which pig?"
"Ah this is serious, John," said John. "I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll cut the tail off my pig. Then we'll have two pigs with no ears and only one pig with a tail."
"Ah that would be good," says John.
Another couple of weeks went by, and you guessed it, John stormed into the house once more.
"John," shouted John. "Your pig has chewed the tail off my pig and now we have two pigs with no ears and no tails. How are we going to tell them apart?"
"Ah, well, John," says John. "Why don't we just make this simple. How about if you have the black one, and I'll have the white one."

A Yorkshireman is drinking in a New York bar.... He gets a call on his cell phone. He hangs up, grinning from ear to ear & orders a round of drinks for everybody in the bar because, he announces, his wife has just produced a typical Yorkshire baby boy weighing 25 pounds.

Nobody can believe that any new baby can weigh in at 25 pounds, but the Yorkie just shrugs, "That's about average up North, folks. Like I said, my boy's a typical Yorkshire baby boy." Congratulations showered him from all around & many exclamations of "WOW!" were heard. One woman actually fainted due to sympathy pains.

Two weeks later the same Yorkshireman returns to the bar. The bartender says "Say,
you're the father of that typical Yorkshire baby boy that weighed 25 pounds at birth, aren't you? Everybody's been makin' bets about how big he'd be in two weeks.

We were gonna call you... so how much does he weigh now?"

The proud father answers, "Seventeen pounds." The bartender is puzzled & concerned.

"What happened? He already weighed 25 pounds the day he was born." The Yorkshire father takes a slow gulp from his pint of Tetley's, wipes his lips on his shirt sleeve, leans into the bartender & proudly says:

"Had him circumcised".

Archaeologists have found a valuable ancient gold necklace being worn by a cashier in a Bulgarian grocery after it was dug up by her husband.

Boris Todorov, 43, from Karlovo in Bulgaria dug up hundreds of fine gold rings from a field on his farm and put them together to make a gift for his wife.

But it was spotted by a group of archaeologists from the Bulgarian National Museum of History who were passing through - and went into her shop to buy provisions.

They immediately identified the necklace as extremely valuable and now say it dates back to 3,000 years BC.

Prof Bozhidar Dimitrov, Director of the Bulgarian National Museum of History, said: "They almost passed out when they saw what the woman was wearing. It is a stunning discovery."

Experts believe a local civilisation buried jewels in fields as part of an elaborate prayer ritual.

A Chihuahua has been hailed a hero after taking on a rattlesnake to protect her owner's baby grandson.

Zoey jumped in the way and took the bites after the snake struck at one-year-old Booker West, reports Metro.

Booker had been splashing his hands in a birdbath in his grandparents' Colorado backyard when the snake slithered up.

"She (Zoey) got in between Booker and the snake, and that's when I heard her yipe," said Monty Long, the boy's grandfather.

The dog required treatment and looked like she might not survive but has since made a full recovery.

"These little bitty dogs, they just don't really get credit," Booker's grandma Denise Long told the Loveland Daily Reporter-Herald.