Minimalist poet, minimalist lifestyle

Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom, seized Jim and pulled him out.
When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act, she immediately took the event to the Director of the hospital. Both agreed that Edna must be sane to have such presence of mind, and should be discharged immediately from the hospital. To know exactly what to do and act upon it meant that Edna was mentally stable.
When the Nurse went to tell Edna the news, she said, "Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is that you are being discharged since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient. We have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness."
"The bad news is that Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in his bathroom; right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he is dead!"
Edna replied, "He did not hang himself, I put him there to dry.....How soon can I go home?"

Leaven and Earth ~ Bakery, Berkeley, CA

Salt and Battery ~ Fish and Chips, Brisbane, Australia

Juan More Taco ~ Taqueria in Fremont, CA

Citizen Canine ~ Dog Kennel, Oakland, CA

Many Happy Returns Inc. ~ Tax Preperation, Glen Burnie, Maryland

Den of Antiquities ~ Victoria, Australia

2 the Point ~ Needlepoint Store, Pleasanton, CA

Wok N Roll ~ Mulitple Locations across the US

Linoleum Dicks ~ Floor Covering Store, San Jose, CA

Pizza My Heart ~ Pizzaria, Santa Cruz and Palo Alto, CA

Garden of Eat'n ~ Restaurant, Utopia, TX

Beauty and the Bistro ~ Unrelated Restaurants in a few US cities

Long Won ~ Chinese Take Out, Brooklyn, NY

I've just been to the newsagent's and something unusual happened. At the precise moment I was walking underneath lamp-posts, the lights went out. This happened three successive times as I was walking along the street...it made me feel like some kind of superhero!

I know that the times the lights are switched on and off are individually controlled by photoelectric sensors, but I've always assumed that they'd all switch off at the same time in the same neighbourhood - I've never really thought about it before though.

A salmon thought to be the biggest ever caught in Britain will not enter the record books - because it was too big for the scales.

The giant fish was 56 inches long, 50 inches round and could have been more than 64lbs, reports the Daily Mirror.

Anglers hoped it would break the UK record set 85 years ago but had to set it free after realising their scales only weighed up to 30lbs.

Ghillie Grant Sutherland, who witnessed the catch in the River Ness near Inverness, said: "I have never come across a fish like that before.

"We couldn't weigh it because we didn't have scales big enough. All I can say is it was the biggest fish I've seen - by a mile.

"The man who caught it was an experienced angler and his reaction was one of shock - it took about 45 minutes to land."

The anglers sent photos of the monster to marine experts in the hope they may be able to estimate the weight.

But David Rowe, secretary of the British Fish Record Committee, said: "It has to be weighed on certified scales. You cannot estimate the British record."

The record is held by Georgina Ballantyne who caught a 64lb salmon in 1922 in Perthshire.