Minimalist poet, minimalist lifestyle

This extract from an editorial about the British class system made me smile:

So someone will ask: "What about Osama Bin Laden? He must be working class: living in a cave and he can't even get on the council housing list." Then someone will answer: "How can he be working class when his job is making films?"

A tourist who was attacked by a crocodile while swimming in an Australian river was so drunk that he fell asleep at his campsite before going to hospital for treatment, a report said Friday.

Matt Martin was camping in an area of the northeastern state of Queensland known to be inhabited by crocodiles when he drank what he later described as "half a slab" -- or twelve cans of beer.

When he dived into the river at Cow Bay in the topical far north of the state, he landed on a crocodile.
After a brief wrestling match with the reptile, Martin emerged with gashes on his face requiring 40 stitches, The Australian newspaper reported.

Admitting his face was "pretty messed up" when he went back to his campsite, Martin, 35, from Newcastle city north of Sydney, then slept for seven hours before seeking medical help.

His injuries were so bad that when he finally did make it to hospital, he was holding a blanket to his face to stop the bleeding, the newspaper said.

Crocodiles inhabit most of the waterways in northern Australia and although attacks on humans are rare, they are potentially very dangerous and numbers have increased in recent years due to official protection after fears they might be wiped out by hunters.

Tattoo spells out Coca-Cola

A man who has proudly showed off his tattoo for 26 years was baffled to realise it actually spelt Coca-Cola.

Vince Mattingley had his named tattooed on his chest in Chinese writing after asking staff at his favourite restaurant to write his name in Chinese symbols.

But a waiter drew the Coke words - and Vince had it etched on his chest.

Vince only realised the mistake when he recently travelled to Thailand and a barman asked him why he had Coca-Cola written on his chest, reports The Sun.

Vince, of Watford, said: "I thought it was a joke then I found out that's what it said. The restaurant staff must have had a good laugh about it."

He now plans to get another Oriental tattoo to cover up the name. He added: "I'm going to go with something Japanese this time."

It's fortunate for me that I'm an early riser. Since the refuse collectors arrive at eight o'clock many people need to put out their bins the night before, but I'm able to do it first thing in the morning.

I've just been to put my bin out in the alleyway at the back of the houses and noticed that next door's bin has been set on fire and several others turned over, spilling the contents.