Minimalist poet, minimalist lifestyle

A philosophy professor stood before his class and had some items in
front of him. When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a very
large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks.
He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it
was.

So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into
the jar. He shook the jar so that the pebbles rolled into the open
areas
between the rocks. He again asked the students if the jar was full.
They agreed that it was.

Then the professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into
the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He then asked
again if the jar was full. The students replied yes.

The professor then poured two cans of beer into the jar - effectively
filling
the empty space between the sand. The students laughed. "Now," said
the
professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that
this
jar
represents your life.

The rocks are the important things - your family, your partner, your
health,
your children - things that if everything else was lost and only they
remained
in your life, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the
other
things that
matter, like your job, your house, your car. The sand is everything
else -
the
small stuff."

"If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no
room
for the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for your life. If you
spend
all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room
for the things that are important.

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play
with
your children. Take time for medical check ups. Take your partner out
dancing. There will always be time to work, clean, and fix up the
house.
Take care of the rocks first - the rest is just sand."

With that one of the students raised her hand and asked what the beer
represented. The professor smiled and said, "It just goes to show you
that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a
couple of beers."

A man is driving with his wife at his side and his Mother-in-law in the backseat.
The women just won't leave him alone.
His mother-in-law says, "You're driving too fast!"
His wife says, "Stay more to the left."
After ten mixed orders, The man turns to his wife and asks, "Who's driving this car...you or your mother?"

When a noxious cloud sent shoppers running in panic on the streets of London, emergency services feared the capital was under chemical attack.

Wearing specialist breathing equipment, fire crews sealed off the area in Soho on Monday afternoon and began a three-hour hunt to find the source of the eye-watering stench while a hazardous area response team stood by, fearing the worst.

Three streets were closed and people evacuated from the area as the search was carried out. After locating the source at about 7pm, emergency crews smashed their way into the Thai Cottage restaurant in D'Arblay Street only to emerge with a 9lb pot of smouldering dried chillies.

Baffled chef Chalemchai Tangjariyapoon, who had been cooking a spicy dip, was amazed to find himself at the centre of the terror scare.
"We only cook it once a year - it's a spicy dip with extra hot chillies that are deliberately burned," he said.

"To us it smells like burned chilli and it is slightly unusual. I can understand why people who weren't Thai would not know what it was but it doesn't smell like chemicals. I'm a bit confused."

Staff at the restaurant had already been evacuated by the time the dip was discovered. Supranee Yodmuang, a Thai Cottage waitress said: "The first we knew about it was at about 4.30 in the afternoon when the fire brigade came. They led us out to where the streets had been cordoned off and we waited there for about three hours.

"They said there was a chemical smell and I remember saying to someone that maybe the smell was the chillies but then we said that was not possible.

"When we came back at 7.30pm we saw the door had been smashed and there were fire brigade and police waiting outside. I was a bit scared but they were very nice about it."

The spicy dip, which is a speciality at the restaurant, is made from charred chillies, garlic flakes, dried shrimps, palm sugar, shrimp paste, tamarind and vegetable oil.

The restaurant, which has been open for 17 years, is considering putting up posters to warn the public during future chilli cooking sessions.

These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations across the United States and rest of the world.

Sign in a science teacher's room: "If it moves, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics."

Sign in butcher's window: "Pleased to meat you."

Sign on auto body shop: "May we have the next dents?"

Sign at the dry cleaner's window: "Drop your pants here."

Sign on a parking space at a garden nursery: "Reserved for plant manager."

Well, maybe you could go to a blanket party and then, if you're up for it, go and sleep with the captain's daughter - I'm sure she'd enjoy your attention.