Minimalist poet, minimalist lifestyle

A guy took his girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench.
After the game, the guy asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied. "Especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"
"Well, at the beginning, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, everyone kept screaming 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, Helloooooooooooo - it's only 25 cents!"

This is what I'll be having for my dinner/lunch a bit later today:

Heligolandic fish and vegetable platter - Germany

Gratin dauphinois - France

Valencian paella - Spain

They were all being sold off cheaply. I'll bung them all into a largish casserole dish and cook it in the microwave.

A US police chief has stockpiled chainsaws - in case his city is invaded by zombies.

Police lieutenant Bruce Ferguson says his team are ready for any attack on Lansing, Michigan.

"We have been doing mock disasters and cross training for several years," he told the Lansing State Journal.

"People can feel confident, if zombies start invading, we'll know how to close the streets. We can get chainsaws too.

"If a swarm comes in on I-496 westbound, we'll block off the exits so they miss the city."