Minimalist poet, minimalist lifestyle

Top scientists were invited to a party,
and this is how they replied.

* Ampere was worried he wasn't current.

* Boyle said he was under too much pressure.

* Darwin waited to see what evolved.

* Descartes said he'd think about it.

* Dr Jekyll declined -- he hadn't been
feeling himself lately.

* Edison thought it would be illuminating.

* Einstein thought it would be relatively
easy to attend.

* Gauss was asked to attend because of his
magnetic personality.

* Heisenberg was uncertain that he could make it.

* Hertz said in the future he planned to attend
with greater frequency.

* Mendel said he'd put some things together and
see what came out.

* Morse's reply: "I'll be there on the dot.
Can't stop now, must dash."

* Newton planned to drop in.

* Ohm resisted the idea.

* Pavlov was drooling at the thought.

* Pierre and Marie Curie were radiating enthusiasm.

* Stephenson thought the whole idea was loco.

* Volta was electrified, and Archimedes buoyant
at the thought.

* Watt reckoned it would be a good way to let off steam.

* Wilbur Wright accepted, provided he and Orville
could get a flight.

Having marital problems? Have you tried putting egg in your underpants?
A woman in Cyprus is on trial for sorcery after pledging to shake off a curse apparently plaguing a man's relationship with his wife and mother-in-law.
The suggested remedy consisted of an egg, a spoon, a nail, some pubic hairs and underpants, local media reported Friday.
"She cracked the egg into my underpants," the 37-year-old man told a district court in the capital Nicosia.
The elderly woman wanted some 5,000 Cyprus pounds ($12,195) for her efforts, the man said, so he went to police.
Sorcery is banned in Cyprus though many people indulge in card readings and palmistry and read runes in coffee cups.

A school head was alerted by the caretaker to a persistent problem in the girls lavatories: some of the girl students were leaving lipstick kisses on the mirrors. The caretaker had left notices on the toilet walls asking for the practice to cease, but to no avail; every evening the caretaker would wipe away the kisses, and the next day lots more kisses would be planted on the mirror. It had become a bit of a game. The head teacher usually took a creative approach to problem solving, and so the next day she asked a few girl representatives from each class to meet with her in the lavatory.
"Thank you for coming," said the head, "You will see there are several lipstick kisses in the mirrors in this washroom.."
Some of the girls grinned at each other.
"As you will understand, modern lipstick is cleverly designed to stay on the lips, and so the lipstick is not easy at all to clean from the mirrors. We have therefore had to develop a special cleaning regime, and my hope is that when you see the effort involved you will help spread the word that we'd all be better off if those responsible for the kisses use tissue paper instead of the mirrors in future.."
At this point the caretaker stepped forward with a sponge squeegee, which he took into one of the toilet cubicles, dipped into the toilet bowl, and then used to clean one of the lipstick-covered mirrors.
The caretaker smiled. The girls departed. And there were no more lipstick kisses on the mirrors.