Minimalist poet, minimalist lifestyle

An old man, a boy, and a donkey were travelling. The boy rode the donkey while the man walked.

In the first town they went to, the people all said; "How hard for that old man who has to walk!"

The two travellers heard this and decided that the boy should walk and the old man should ride.

In the next town, people whispered, "What a shame, he makes the little boy walk!"

So the pair decided that they should both ride.
In the third town, people all muttered about how cruel it was to make the donkey work so hard.

So the boy and the old man decided to carry the donkey.

On the way to the next town, they had to go across a bridge. As they walked across it, they slipped and the donkey fell in to the river and drowned.

The moral of the story is - If you try to please everyone, you will eventually end up losing your ass.

The Wall Street Journal had an article about the Dutch takeover of JFK airport's International Arrivals building. The Dutch have some interesting ideas on how to clean it up:
In Amsterdam, the tile under Schiphol's urinals would pass inspection in an operating room. But nobody notices. What everybody does notice is that each urinal has a fly in it. Look harder, and the fly turns into the black outline of a fly, etched into the porcelain.
"It improves the aim," says Aad Kieboom. "If a man sees a fly, he aims at it." Mr. Kieboom, an economist, directs Schiphol's own building expansion. His staff conducted fly-in-urinal trials and found that etchings reduce spillage by 80%.
"We will put flies in the urinals -- yes," Jan Jansen says in a back office at the Arrivals Building. He is the new Dutch general manager, the boss as of noon today. "It gives a guy something to think about. That's the perfect example of process control."
His New York public relations attendant titters. "Fine, laugh at me," Mr. Jansen says. "It works."

A rogue guide dog has been destroyed after leading four of its blind owners to their deaths.
Charity workers were last night facing an investigation into how four-year-old Labrador Gamer was allowed to continue his murderous spree. Officials have admitted how:
 Victim Number 1 was dragged under the wheels of a bus.
 Victim Number 2 drowned when she was led off the end of a pier.
 Victim Number 3 was shoved into the path of a speeding train.
 Victim Number 4 was left stranded as a truck mowed him down.
Trainer Rudi Jones, 48, told newsmen in South Africa: "He was basically a good dog who needed brushing up on his skills.It's so sad that he had to be put down."
Gamer's terror trail began with the death of 43-year-old Selmer Draznower from Johannesburg. Witnesses told how Gamer dragged his master under the wheels of an approaching bus before scampering off.
Amazingly, Gamer was then given to 68-year-old Wilma Hassamore who survived just three months after his arrival. Gamer decided to cut short her seaside holiday by leading her off the end of a pier. The dog pulled back at the last second but Wilma plunged into the sea and drowned.
Next was Marvin Wurtenheim, 28, who thought his prayers had been answered when Gamer arrived. But the misguided mutt butted Marvin off a railway platform.
Unbelievably, the dog was then given to retired Clarence MacDuff, 67, also from Johannesburg. As Gamer was guiding the unlucky Clarence to his doctor, the hapless hound dragged him under the wheels of a delivery truck.
A spokesman for the Guide Dogs For The Blind Association, in Durban, South Africa, said: "We had no choice but to have him put down."

A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defence: "My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offence committed by his limb." "Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses." The defendant smiled. With his lawyer's assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.

This is a true story that just happened at a wedding at Clemson.
This was a huge wedding with about 300 guests. After the wedding at the reception, the groom got up on stage at the microphone to talk to the crowd. He said that he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them at their wedding. He especially wanted to thank the bride's and groom's families for coming.
To thank everyone for coming and bringing gifts and everything, he said he wanted to give everyone a gift from him. So taped to the bottom of everyone's chair was a manila envelope. He said that was his gift to everyone, and told them to open it.
Inside the manila envelope was an 8x10 picture of his best man having sex with the bride. (He must have got suspicious of the two of them and hired a private detective to trail them.) After he stood there and watched people's reactions for a couple of minutes, he turned to the best man and said " Screw You!" he turned to the bride and said "Screw You Too!" and then said "I'm out of here."
He got the marriage annulled the next day.