Minimalist poet, minimalist lifestyle

Windsor Castle has been the victim of a cat burglar every day for the past four years.

A cat called Mime, which lives in a Chinese restaurant 50 yards opposite, has been strolling past armed police and royal guards in order to dine with royalty - the Queen's corgis.

Mime is now such a regular visitor she gets VIP treatment. On the Queen's birthday when Mime's normal route was blocked due to a locked gate, security staff opened it especially to let her through.

Owner Kevin Lam said: "When people come to my restaurant after visiting the castle they ask me why the Queen's cat is in the restaurant. I keep having to tell them that she is actually my cat!"

But he said the ten-year-old cat's daily lunchtime visits had not always been appreciated by the corgis.

He told The Sun: "A courtier told me the corgis used to fight with her at first, but after lots of barking and some hissing they came to a sort of truce."

A recent headline from the BBC News Online site:

Strangled woman was murder victim.
A woman who was found strangled at her flat in south London was murdered, police have revealed.

Is this BBC reporter not aware of the dictionary definition of 'strangle' - 'to kill by compressing the windpipe and so preventing breathing' ? [Webster's New International Dictionary] Therefore, by using the word 'strangle' we already know she's been murdered; so why tell us again in the same sentence?

Why am I forced to pay a compulsory TV licence fee of £130 a year for this rubbish? Unfortunately, it seems that the police are no better either though.

Mary Poppins has retired from her days as a nanny and currently resides in Venice Beach, CA, where she predicts cases of bad breath for her clients. Her sign outside her office reads: "Super California Mystic, Expert: Halitosis"