Minimalist poet, minimalist lifestyle

A baffled British woman who lost a mobile phone dialed the number and heard it ringing inside her friend's dog.
Rachel Murray, 27, had left the cellphone under her Christmas tree as a surprise gift for her flatmate, The Sun newspaper reported on Friday.
But chum Tony Dangerfield's bloodhound Charlie crept into the room and greedily wolfed down the mobile phone, leaving only a pile of torn paper.
After a frantic search for the phone, Murray obtained the number from the telephone company, dialed and heard muffled ringing from sleeping Charlie's stomach.
"At first I thought Charlie was lying on the phone -- then I realized where it was," she said. "I couldn't believe he'd swallowed it."
The dog was rushed to a vet, who advised Murray and Dangerfield to let nature take its course.
Twenty four hours later the phone duly emerged -- in perfect working order.

I'm just thinking; I ought to mention that 'dog and bone' is [London] Cockney rhyming slang for 'telephone'.

Two members of the Lothian and Borders traffic police were out on the Berwickshire moors with a radar gun recently, happily engaged in apprehending speeding motorists, when their equipment suddenly locked-up completely with an unexpected reading of well over 300 mph.
The mystery was explained seconds later as a low flying Harrier hurtled over their heads. The boys in blue, upset at the damage to their radar gun, put in a complaint to the RAF, but were somewhat chastened when the RAF pointed out that the damage might well have been more severe. The Harrier's target-seeker had locked on to the 'enemy' radar and triggered an automatic retaliatory air-to-surface missile attack.
Luckily the Harrier was operating unarmed.

The American Government funded a study to see why the head of a man's penis was larger than the shaft. After 1 year and $180,000, they concluded that the reason that the head was larger than the shaft was to give the man more pleasure during sex.

After the US published the study, the French decided to do their own study. After $250,000 and 3 years of research, they concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the woman more pleasure during sex.

Australians, unsatisfied with these findings, conducted their own study. After 2 weeks, a cost of around $75.46, and 2 cases of beer, they concluded that it was to keep a man's hand from flying off and hitting himself in the forehead.