Minimalist poet, minimalist lifestyle

A man really loved a woman, but he was just too shy to propose to her. Now he was getting on in years and neither of them had ever been married. Of course, they dated about once a week for the past six years, but he was so timid he just never got around to suggesting marriage much less living together.

But one day, he became determined to ask her the question. So he calls her on the phone, "June."

"Yes, this is June."

"Will you marry me?"

"Of course I will! Who's this?"

There was a nun doing charity work in a large metropolitan hospital. As she was walking by the nursery, she encountered a man looking through the window at a newborn.
"Is that your child?" said the nun.
"Why, yes, it is sister. She was born this morning," said the man.
"Are you Catholic, young man?"
"Yes, sister."
"How many children do you have?"
"This is our twelfth child. We are hoping for more."
"Your twelfth child! How magnificent. God has truly blessed you. I shall remember you in my prayers."
"Thank you sister," said the man.
Later that same day, the nun encountered another man at the nursery.
"Is that your child, young man."
"Yes, sister, it is. I am very proud of her."
"Are you Catholic, young man?"
"No sister, I am not."
"How many children do you have?"
"This is our ninth child."
The nun was shocked and gasped, "Sex maniac."

Seen at a local auto mechanic's shop:
SHOP RATES
Basic labor rate $40 / hour
If you wait . . . $60 / hour
If you watch . . $80 / hour
If you help . . .$100 / hour
If you laugh . .$140 / hour

Although I found this posted on a humour site, I think there's a lot of logic in this pricing tariff.

A LOTTERY scratchcard has been withdrawn from sale by Camelot - because players couldn't understand it.

The Cool Cash game - launched on Monday - was taken out of shops yesterday after some players failed to grasp whether or not they had won.

To qualify for a prize, users had to scratch away a window to reveal a temperature lower than the figure displayed on each card. As the game had a winter theme, the temperature was usually below freezing.

But the concept of comparing negative numbers proved too difficult for some Camelot received dozens of complaints on the first day from players who could not understand how, for example, -5 is higher than -6.

Tina Farrell, from Levenshulme, called Camelot after failing to win with several cards.

The 23-year-old, who said she had left school without a maths GCSE, said: "On one of my cards it said I had to find temperatures lower than -8. The numbers I uncovered were -6 and -7 so I thought I had won, and so did the woman in the shop. But when she scanned the card the machine said I hadn't.

"I phoned Camelot and they fobbed me off with some story that -6 is higher - not lower - than -8 but I'm not having it.

"I think Camelot are giving people the wrong impression - the card doesn't say to look for a colder or warmer temperature, it says to look for a higher or lower number. Six is a lower number than 8. Imagine how many people have been misled."

A Camelot spokeswoman said the game was withdrawn after reports that some players had not understood the concept.

She said: "The instructions for playing the Cool Cash scratchcard are clear - and are printed on each individual card and in the game procedures available at each retailer. However, because of the potential for player confusion we have decided to withdraw the game."

More than 15m adults in Britain have poor numeracy - the equivalent of a G or below at GCSE maths

Almost three times as many UK adults (15.1m) have poor numeracy - the equivalent of a G or below at GCSE maths - than with poor literacy skills, according to the government's Skills for Life survey.

Peter Hall, of the Association of Teachers of Mathematics, said: "The concept of minus numbers is something we would cover with 11 or 12 year olds, and we would expect them to have come across it before.

"The concept of smaller numbers is something that some people do seem to struggle with. Seven is clearly smaller than eight, so they focus on that and don't really see the minus sign. There is also a subtle difference in language between smaller - or lower - and colder. The number zero feels lower.

"There have always been some people who find numbers and basic mathematics difficult. Maybe in the past it was less noticeable because people could find jobs they could excel in without having qualifications in maths."