Minimalist poet, minimalist lifestyle

Just a brief update following on from Tuesday's post about being overcharged in the supermarket.

I've just received a telephone call from the customer services department at the company's head office telling me that when I go into town tomorrow I'll be able to claim a full refund; they've phoned up the Doncaster branch and made all the arrangements.

The sooner the compulsory BBC licence fee is abolished, the better.

Team bonding at the BBC lends a fresh perspective to the term "dumbing down". This month 200 staff from all over the country spent the day wandering round the BBC's White City offices cradling robotic plastic babies and sidling up to strangers whispering: "I've got something for you." The babies, loaned from BBC3's teen show the Baby Borrowers , were programmed to scream and wet themselves.
According to Ariel, the BBC's house magazine, those present included Alan Yentob, the BBC's creative director, and Adrian Chiles, presenter of The One Show on BBC1. Unwisely, perhaps, both allowed themselves to be photographed holding a baby. In between cuddling the damp, howling little robots, they had to undertake a sensory assault course. This involved "wading through pools of raspberry jelly and autumn leaves blindfolded". Everyone who took part was asked to wash their colleague's feet afterwards.
A Buddhist monk with a key round his neck was part of the "fun". Staff had twenty seconds to get the key off him - without using menaces. Apparently the trick was to remain silent. Oh, and everyone was also issued with masks showing the faces of such luminaries as Tony Blair, Margaret Thatcher and Margaret Beckett. When not dripping with jelly or synthetic baby pee, staff had a chance to pitch programme ideas at a panel of BBC bosses including Glenwyn Benson, a bigwig in policy and strategy, and George Entwistle, controller of knowledge commissioning.

A few minutes ago I was standing behind a woman in the checkout queue who was buying a 'handkerchief in a tin.' This must be the most extreme example of over-packaging and waste of resources I've ever witnessed.

Maybe she is playing a cruel trick on someone, whose Christmas present will not be quite what they were expecting.

Sent to me by my sister in Adelaide - it just about sums up Australians.

Handle every situation like a dog.

If you can't eat it or hump it,
Piss on it and walk away.