Minimalist poet, minimalist lifestyle

US dog lovers are paying £200 for prosthetic testicles for their castrated pets.
The 'Neuticles' are implanted in the dogs' scrotums to make them appear "anatomically intact", reports Sky News.
Louis Schwartz, chief of staff at the Overland Veterinary Clinic in Los Angeles, said: "What I find is the vast majority (of customers) are men.
"I can only think of one woman who has come to me to have the procedure on her pet. She was an animal control officer whose husband, because of his religious beliefs, did not want the dog to be neutered
"One weekend while he was away she came to me with the dog and years later, this man has no idea."
At Mr Schwartz's clinic dog lovers can also buy acupuncture treatment and medicine for separation anxiety and depression for their pets.
Pet care is now the fastest growing retail sector after electronics in the US with dog and cat owners spending about £20bn on their pets in 2007.

Hole in the wall for smokers

A German bar owner has got round a smoking ban by cutting holes in the wall so customers can stick their heads out to have a cigarette.
Michael Windisch, owner of the Maltermeister Turm bar and restaurant in Goslar, Lower Saxony, cut three holes next to tables in his restaurant after local authorities introduced the ban on smoking in all eating places.
Customers who want to smoke can stick their heads through the large holes and their hands through the other two so they can have a cigarette. A curtain has been mounted to keep out the cold.
Windisch said: "Now my customers can legally enjoy a cigarette without having to leave the comfort of the restaurant."
Local media have claimed the idea is likely to catch on in other parts of the country where blanket bans in smoking in restaurants are to be introduced from the New Year.

A guy sits down in a café and asks for the hot chilli.
The waitress says, "The guy next to you got the last bowl."
He looks over and sees that the guy's finished his meal, but the chilli bowl is still full.
He says, "Are you going to eat that?"
The other guy says, "No. Help yourself."
He takes it and starts to eat it. When he gets about half way down, his fork hits something. He looks down sees a dead mouse in it, and he pukes the chilli back into the bowl.
The other guy says, "That's about as far as I got, too."