Minimalist poet, minimalist lifestyle

I was in the jobcentre earlier today and there was a young lad explaining very loudly to his mate, with frequent use of expletives, how his most recent court appearance had turned out.

With my age (45) and total lack of experience he'll probably be more likely to end up getting a permanent job than me though.

John Kallam graduated with a BA in criminology and entered the U.S. Army. He served for 20 years beginning in the late 1930's. He was an investigator during the Nuremberg trials of Nazi war criminals, and stayed in Germany for many years organsing civilian police forces in the post-war era. He also wrote numerous books on criminal justice. He retired from military service in the late 1950's at the rank of full colonel.
Returning to Fresno, California, he began teaching criminology at what was then Fresno State College. (Later to become the California State University, Fresno.) His work was well respected, but after about ten years of service, he was called to see the president of the college.
He was informed that he could no longer teach with just a bachelor's degree. Times were changing, he was told, and the school demanded that faculty members hold a graduate degree. Merely having 20 years of distinguished experience was no longer considered sufficient qualification to teach. All new faculty were being required to hold a doctorate, it was explained, and the school was actually doing him a favour by letting him keep his job by getting "only" a master's degree.
So John enrolled in a summer program at an out of state college. Three months of intensive seminars and then nine months of home study would get him his MA.
On the first day of class, the instructor was taking roll. He stopped when he read John's name. "Are you related to the John Kallam who wrote the textbook we'll be using?" he asked.
"I am the John Kallam who wrote the textbook you're using," came the dry response.

From the Omniglot Forum: Translation mistakes and language faux pas.

'My German exchange student said that we were having a "welfare party tonight" instead of a "farewell party tonight", which I found amusing.'

'During the winter it snowed quite a bit in Jerusalem, and at the time I had an American friend over who was trying to master Hebrew. Of course, the perception Americans have of Israel is that it is not a snowy country, so he was very amazed at all of it, and tried to say in Hebrew "Look at all the "f*cking snow" but instead said "Observe, the snow fornicates"... I almost died laughing.'