Posts archive for: 10 February, 2008
  • Another collection of puns.

    A good pun is its own reword.

    A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

    Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.

    A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.

    Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.

    Sea captains don't like crew cuts

    Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.

    In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.

    With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

    He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

    Every calendar's days are numbered.

    A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

    A plateau is a high form of flattery.

  • Sam and Becky

    Sam and Becky are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. Sam says to Becky, "Becky, I was wondering - have you ever cheated on me?"
    Becky replies, "Oh Sam, why would you ask such a question now? You don't want to ask that question..."
    "Yes, Becky, I really want to know. Please..."
    "Well, all right. Yes, 3 times..."
    "Three? Well, when were they?" he asked.
    "Well, Sam, remember when you were 35 years old and you really wanted to start the business on your own and no bank would give you a loan? Remember, then one day the bank president himself came over the house and signed the loan papers, no questions asked?"
    "Oh, Becky, you did that for me! I respect you even more than ever, to do such a thing for me. So, when was number 2?"
    "Well, Sam, remember when you had that last heart attack and you were needing that very tricky operation, and no surgeon would touch you? Then remember how Dr. DeBakey came all the way up here, to do the surgery himself, and then you were in good shape again?"
    "I can't believe it! Becky, you should do such a thing for me, to save my life. I couldn't have a more wonderful wife. To do such a thing, you must really love me, Darling. I couldn't be more moved.
    So, all right then, when was number 3?"
    "Well, Sam, remember a few years ago, when you really wanted to be president of the golf club and you were 17 votes short..?"

  • A car sticker with a pertinent message

    'God favours no group - only religions do that.'

    Maybe the Archbishop of Canterbury should heed this advice, concerning his comments about shariah law in the UK.

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