Minimalist poet, minimalist lifestyle

I've just used the plunger on the sink, and for about a minute there was a noise that sounded like a trumpeting elephant coming from the kitchen.

It wasn't a serious blockage; when that happens it's not a problem though- I just pour boiling water from the kettle down the plughole. It works every time.

A man named Martin was sitting on his porch, when this man walked up
with a pad and pencil in his hand.

"What can I do for you?" Martin politely asked. "You selling something?"

"No, sir, I'm not. I'm a Census Taker."

"A what?"

"A Census Taker. We're trying to find out how many people are in the
United States."

"You're wasting your time here." Martin replied, "I have no idea."

There's an old Cold War joke about a drunken diplomatic party in some Third World country. The British ambassador is challenged to a race by his Soviet counterpart, which he then wins. Pravda reported the events thus: 'In a race between ambassadors yesterday, the Soviet ambassador came second, while the British ambassador was second from last.'