Minimalist poet, minimalist lifestyle

Forty is the old age of youth; fifty the youth of old age.

Victor Hugo

I'm comfortably in the middle of the age range; forty five, nearly forty six.

They may not leap off the shelves into the best-seller category, but the books shortlisted for the oddest book title prize certainly grab the attention.
"I was Tortured by the Pygmy Love Queen" recounts the tale of a fictional U.S. World War Two fighter pilot who is captured by jungle pygmies led by a sadistic woman.
Its sequel, which is not on the shortlist released by trade publication The Bookseller (www.thebookseller.com) on Friday, needs no explanation: "Go Ahead, Woman, Do Your Worst."
"How to Write a How to Write Book" and "Cheese Problems Solved" are likewise self-explanatory as is the equally eclectic niche tome "People who Mattered in Southend and Beyond: From King Canute to Dr. Feelgood" that strives to put the English east coast resort on the map.
While none of the above may challenge the sensibilities too much, others are likely to prove more divisive. Try "If You Want Closure in Your Relationship, Start With Your Legs" or "Are Women Human? And other International Dialogues."

I've just been speaking on the phone with my mum and we were both a bit concerned to hear a telephone ringtone on the line. She said she could also hear a clicking noise and some buzzing, although I couldn't.

What's going on?

I recently received this email which included a link with the word 'infecter' in the address…of course I didn't open it.

Ever since you left my WereWolf army, my life has been incomplete. Please follow this link to rejoin my army and help me rid Facebook of pesky humans.

It must some sort of virus; but why bother sending it?

On a packet of juggling balls:
"This product contains small granules under 3 millimeters. Not suitable
for children under the age of 14 years in Europe or 8 years in the USA."

On a can of windscreen de-icing spray:
"Spray works in sub-zero temperatures."

On a can of insect spray:
"Kills all kinds of insects! Warning: this spray is harmful to bees."

A different brand of insect spray:
"Kills flies, wasps, mosquitoes, midges, and other flying insects.
Not tested on animals."

On an ocean buoy for determining the position of submarines:
"Protect from seawater."