Minimalist poet, minimalist lifestyle

This morning for breakfast I had beans on toast. I only needed half a tin of beans and so only half opened the tin with the tin opener, and struggled to pour the beans onto the plate [to go in the microwave.] Do you know what? I reckon it would have been quicker to entirely open the tin and eat all of the contents…but I wasn't feeling that hungry.

Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.

Man who run in front of car get tired.

Man who run behind car get exhausted.

Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.

Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.

Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok

Man with one chopstick go hungry

Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.

Panties not best thing on earth! But next to best thing on earth.

War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.

Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.

It take many nails to build cot, but one screw to fill it.

Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.

Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.

Man who fart in church sit in own pew.

Crowded elevator smell different to midget.

I've just been watching a news report about banks recalling the credit cards of people who are prompt payers; presumably because the banks aren't making enough profit out of these customers. Well, I don't have a credit card [and I don't want or need one either] and so this policy won't affect me; however, last year the banks were involved in a court case concerning 'unfair bank charges' which could result in the end of free banking…so we'll all have to pay for making withdrawals from our accounts, or writing cheques so that people who exceed their overdraft limits aren't charged as much.

My one thought concerning both of these developments is; why penalise people who are prudent with their finances? It's so unfair, and sets a bad example.

A young man from the city went to visit his farmer uncle. For the first few days, the uncle showed him the usual things - chickens, cows, crops, etc. After three days, however, it was obvious that the nephew was getting bored, and the uncle was running out of things to amuse him with. Finally, the uncle had an idea. "Why don't you grab a gun, take the dogs, and go shooting?" This seemed to cheer the nephew up, and with enthusiasm, off he went, dogs in trail. After a few hours, the nephew returned. "How did you enjoy that?" asked the uncle. "It was great!" exclaimed the nephew. "Got any more dogs?"