Minimalist poet, minimalist lifestyle

I've just been to sign on at the jobcentre, and because it's a bank holiday the next time I should sign on, I now don't have to sign on again until April 7th...I'm glad about that.

My name was called by a new clerk and when she asked me how my jobsearch was going; this is what I said -

"Well, after thirty years I'm still looking for my first job...and god knows how many thousand applications and rejections...and two major nervous breakdowns because I could't cope with all the rejections - which ended up with me sitting cross-legged in the middle of the floor chanting 'No, no, no.' over and over again every few seconds most of one afternoon, what do you suggest I do now?...Oh, and by the way I've just been diagnosed with asthma."

She looked scared to death and just suggested that I keep attending the group therapy session.

On Saturday I received a letter from the council telling me about the Local Housing Allowance, which is going to replace Housing Benefit; it starts next month for new claims.

I've had a look at the website and it seems that I'll only be entitled to £55 per week, wherever I'm living in Doncaster. Since this is £9.50 a week less than what I'm currently receiving now, were I to take a temporary job or go on a training scheme for a few weeks and then need to make a new claim I'd end up having to live on only just over £30 per week - a large disincentive to actually trying to improve my circumstances. Of course, I could try and find cheaper accommodation; the only problem is; there isn't any in Doncaster - there are very few flats in the private sector where landlords are willing to accommodate unemployed people.

There's another major problem with this new scheme - the new payments to tenants will be paid directly into their bank accounts [many people haven't got bank accounts yet]. Since some people on benefits live chaotic lives and can have difficulties with managing their finances, there's a high probability that many people will end up not paying their rent, thus making landlords even less likely to accommodate people claiming benefits.

Not to worry though; the streets of Doncaster aren't paved with gold; I'm told that concrete is a lot warmer to sleep on!

A worker is to be immortalised as a stone gargoyle at a world-famous cathedral as a reward for 30 years service.
Stuart Boyfield had his face chiselled into a carving at historic Lincoln Cathedral, reports the Daily Mail.
Mr Boyfield, 50, whose job it is to unlock and lock the Cathedral's works yard every day, admitted he felt humbled.
"It is a great honour to have something like this done and I am very proud. I will be in the company of a former Queen, a Dean and of course the Lincoln Imp, " he said.
"To think that my likeness will be up there for the next 500 years and people will read records about it is really quite amazing."
The father-of-one, who lives in nearby Bardney, began working at the Cathedral in 1977.
Mr Boyfield said: "I am first in every morning to unlock the Cathedral's works yard, that is why the carving shows me with a big set of keys because I always have them with me.
"I didn't have much of a say in the carving because it has to be kept in a medieval style, but I think it is a dead-on match for my face."