Minimalist poet, minimalist lifestyle

How to be a Good Wife

Excerpt from a 1950's high school home economics textbook

Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a
delicious meal--on time. This is a way of letting him know that you
have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs.
Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good
meal is part of the warm welcome needed.

Prepare yourself. Take fifteen minutes to rest so that you'll be
refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in
your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of
work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting.
His boring day may need a life.

Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of
the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up the school
books, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables.
Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order,
and it will give you a lift, too.

Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's
hands and faces if they are small, comb their hair, and if
necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he
would like to see them playing the part.

Minimise all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise
of the washer, dryer, dishwasher, or vacuum. Try to encourage the
children to be quiet. Be happy to see him; greet him with a smile
and be glad to see him.

Some don'ts: Don't greet him with problems or complaints. Don't
complain if he's late for dinner. Count this as minor compared with
what he might have gone through that day. Make him comfortable.
Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in
the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his
pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft,
soothing, and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and unwind.

Listen to him. You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the
moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.

Make the evening his: Never complain if he does not take you out to
dinner or to other places of entertainment. Instead, try to
understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home
and relax.

Your goal: Try to make your home a place of peace and order where
your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

At four o'clock today I'll be listening to the radio commentary of the F.A. Cup semi-final match between Barnsley and Cardiff City. I won't be able to watch it live on TV because the BBC isn't broadcasting it...unlike yesterday's other semi-final.

I wasn't aware that viewers here in Yorkshire pay less for our compulsory TV licences than people in other parts of the country...we certainly get an inferior service though.

A woman went to the doctor's surgery, where she was

seen by a young, new doctor. After about five minutes

in the examination room, the doctor told her she was

pregnant.

She burst out, screaming as she ran down the hall.

An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem

was, and she told him her story. After listening, he had

her sit down and relax in another room.

The doctor marched down the hallway to the back where

the first doctor was and demanded,

"What's the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 59 years old,

she has four grown children and seven grandchilden,

and you told her she was pregnant?"

The new doctor continued to write on his clipboard and

without looking up said,

"Does she still have the hiccups?"

I watched another strange Korean film with my friend last night - The Host. A giant mutant fishmonster captured a young girl and took her to its lair in the sewers underneath the city. Her narcoleptic father, who was also an insomniac, together with the rest of the family, mounted a rescue bid...not forgetting their Pot Noodles and kettle!

It was great fun.