In fact, I've been awake and out of bed since four o'clock this morning due to a sore, stiff and swollen left shoulder. It must be rheumatism...I don't think it's an accident I've had.

I'm convinced it must be a bit of rheumatism because I've spent four hours sitting only a few inches in front of the electric fire and now all my symptoms seem to have gone.

It's sunny outside at the moment and so maybe I'll get some warmth on my shoulder in the garden this afternoon...and a have a nap...and remember to buy some Deep Heat or Fiery Jack to rub in when I get home.

After nearly eradicating the slugs from my garden, I'm now having to contend with an invasion of snails.

There is a river in the Czech Republic; its Czech name is Vltava, which is of German origin: its German name, Moldau, is of Czech origin though.

I was on a bus yesterday and the alarm kept going off to warn the driver that the rear [emergency] door wasn't closed properly; so she had to keep stopping the vehicle and giving the door a kick. She was also having problems with the door to the driver's cab area though - it kept sticking shut, and she had to kick that as well.

I'm now wondering of this true story could actually be a parable about the state of the world, or the state of the country...or the state of the Labour Party.

Idle Don Went Dearne

These are the four main rivers that flow through Doncaster borough. It's a pity that 'Dearne' doesn't actually mean anything.

I don't know the score yet, but when I was speaking on the phone earlier with my mum she told me that Hull City had won their play-off final...so, 'Come on you Rovers' tomorrow.

I'm at my friend's house, so that's why I'm posting so late.

I hope that Doncaster Rovers manage to beat Leeds United in the Championship play-off final at Wembley tomorrow; I'd also like Hull City to win Bristol Rovers in the Premiership final today - it was mentioned on TV this morning that Hull is the largest city in Europe whose football team has never played at the highest level.

Looking at the TV coverage it seems that there are more sculptures, water features and pieces of garden furniture than actual plants featured.

Yesterday I was granted a 'treat' by the woman at the jobcentre - the first time this has ever happened to me. I'm due to go to Sheffield for a psychological assessment on my next scheduled siging-on day and so have been granted granted the 'treat' - i.e. I'm excused from signing on for that week.

Apparently this is the correct terminology that the staff use.

I'm struggling with the computer at the library this morning; pop-ups in Polish keep appearing and none of the links I click on seem to be working - they all re-direct me to the Google homepage.

Cadbury's Dairy Milk Chocolate: A collection of amazing airport vehicles which wouldn't look out of place in a Thunderbirds TV series episode moving in a carefully choreographed manner down the runway whilst 'Don't Stop Me Now' by Queen is cranked up on the soundtrack.

I've noticed that there have been a lot of dandelions in bloom this year, looking quite spectacular in places. The word 'dandelion' is of French origin and means 'lion's teeth', because of the shape of the leaves. I wonder what the original Old English word for the plant was though.

Doncaster Rovers 5 Southend United 1 (agg. 5-1).

I didn't go to the match, I just listened to the radio commentary. We now meet Leeds United in the playoff final at Wembley next Sunday.

Will north London be ready for the Yorkshire invasion though?

I was checking the telephone directory yesterday and noticed that someone was listed with the same surname and initials as me, apparently living in a different part of the borough, but with the same address as me.

Or...maybe BT has made a mistake and listed me twice - but whose is the other number though?

I've had no symptoms of hayfever so far this year. this is very unusual, if not exceptional, for me; most years I would have been suffering for quite a few weeks by now. Maybe the viral asthma which I had at the beginning of the year might have cured me, or disensitised me in some way.

The other day I was sitting on the swing which hangs from the oak tree in my garden when one of the cables snapped and I fell, landing quite hard onto the concrete patio. I was alright, but my tailbone still hurts a bit, even now.

If fly fishing is fishing with flies as bait; why isn't fly tipping, tipping with flies?

I've spent a lot of time during the recent good weather sitting beneath the oak tree in my garden, reading library books and listening to the radio. For the last few days some rather insignificant catkins have been falling from the tree - maybe these are the remains of dead flowers; I don't know...I'm just assuming that oaks do have flowers/blossom of some description.

The street where I'm living now is named after the main park in town. My previous address was named after the Battle of St. Vincent (fought on St. Valentine's Day). Another house was on a lane named after the next village. My remaining two addresses were School Street and High Street

I'm reading this novel at the moment; it's written by Clive Cussler, one of my current favourite novelists. Unfortunately my enjoyment has been ruined by many basic geographical, cultural and typographical errors in the text. Don't publishers employ proofreaders or editors any more?

I noticed they were selling off bags of this unusual combination of ingredients in the frozen food shop. I didn't buy any though; I can't imagine what I'd do with red cabbage and apple...maybe it's an East European delicacy.

Something I just noticed whilst watching TV this morning: the time display on the digital 'plus one' channels is actually an hour slow. I wonder how many people have been late for work because of this?

My dad is due to leave hospital today; fortunately he only seems to have slightly ruptured part of his intestine due to thrusting too much on the toilet. He'll still have to return for more tests and procedures though.

I went with my mum on Sunday to visit my dad. The good news is that he's no longer bleeding from his anus and is looking a lot healthier than I had expected; he's spending most of the time out of bed and really enjoying the food - apparently it's a lot better than what's served here in Doncaster.

The ambulancemen offered him a choice of being admitted to hospital in either town; although he much prefers the town of Doncaster (and is a Rovers fan) he opted for Barnsley because of the superior food and easier access for my mum on public transport...there are long-term roadworks in Doncaster at the moment.

Overheard early yesterday morning as the market traders were setting up their stalls.

Middle-aged man to his young assistant:
"We're having a fifty percent discount today, but only on our grossly inflated prices."

I didn't stand around to hear the response.

Because of the weekend and bank holiday he'll be in hospital until at least Tuesday now. He's still bleeding from his anus, and this will need investigating.

I'm planning to visit the hospital with my mum tomorrow

Despite not posting as often now because I'm not online at home, according to Sitemeter I had more than 7,000 pageviews last month - the most ever.

Less is more, obviously.

He's still in hospital. He's been diagnosed with stomach ulcers, but still requires more tests. According to my mum he was sitting up in bed and quite lively though

He was taken ill on a bus yesterday; painful stomach and abdominal cramps/spasms, vomiting, diarrhoea and coughing up blood. My mum thinks it's just food poisoning he might have picked up at a cafe - she had a different meal because she's got coeliac disease and has to have a very restricted diet...I'm worried though, and think it might be more serious.

She's due to phone me up later with an update.