Minimalist poet, minimalist lifestyle

We've just had a power cut here in Doncaster; my laptop's screen went noticeably dimmer and the battery icon has appeared in my system tray at the bottom of the screen.

I don't know how extensive the outage is; but several burglar alarms are screeching across the neighbourhood.

There is obviously power to the nearest mobile phone transmitter or else I wouldn't be able to get online...do they have back-up generators installed though?

I've just climbed up and down 155 steps in the house...because of a fused light bulb.

I came up into the attic room to use the computer and switch the light on; but it fused - it's quite dark in the corner where I use the computer and so always switch the light on.

So, I had to go downstairs and get a new light bulb, bring it back up into the attic and replace the old bulb, go down three flights of stairs to the cellar to throw the switch on the circuit breaker...and then return back up here, from where I'm blogging now.

I was watching a TV news report early this morning about this charity, which distributes free food parcels to needy people.

Out of curiosity I've just clicked on their webpage and notice that they only operate in wealthy towns, generally in the south of the country. This must mean that people in poor northern towns are too poor to give to charity.

I've just been to see the doctor this morning to start the process of being tested or assessed to see if I've got Asperger's syndrome. I'm aware that there's no cure, but a diagnosis will help me to better understand my circumstances and behaviour; and it will open up new opportunities for me - I'll be able to register with the disabled employment advisor and therefore be eligible for several programmes...and, I'll probably be able to get a free bus pass!

Some of them have rather strange and inappropriate names:

Fairy Fireflash
Fairy Stooge
Green Cheese
Red Top
Sea Slug

Slugs, fairies and cheese - they don't sound very threatening.

The Sunday Times Rich List is showing that many of the multi-millionaires and billionaires living in Britain have lost a lot of their wealth because of the economic recession.

I can't say that I feel that sorry for them.

One thing I have noticed, and it didn't surprise me, is that many (possibly even a majority) of the people are foreigners or immigrants.

When first posting this morning I noticed that for some reason all of my statistics plug-ins have disappeared. I've spent the last few minutes trying to re-install them, but the blog settings section won't let me.

I reckon they must have disappeared yesterday when I decided to mess about with the settings - all I did though was to add some tags to the blog's profile.

I'm a bit disappointed because I used to enjoy following my ststs.

Recent requests on my Facebook page:

Top five people I want to meet.
Five things that terrify me.
Five things I don't leave the house without.

I probably won't complete these quizzes though.

Areas of life in which myself and my immediate family still living in England have no experience:

Driving
The military
Living in a property with gas
Being self-employed
Travelling in an aeroplane
Religion
Firearms
Playing sport

Being unemployed I have plenty of spare time on my hands - too much time really. Maybe this is why I've ended up with so many timepieces in my house; three wall clocks, two alarm clocks, a watch, my mobile phone, my laptop [when it's switched on] and the Freeview box which displays the time on the TV screen in two different modes.

Nine separate means of telling the time...probably not that unusual these days though I suppose.

Just to finish things off; I've also got a clockwork timer on my microwave oven.

From my Statcounter recent visitors page:

Number of entries 6
Entry Page Time 23rd April 2009 10:49:52
Visit Length 7 hours 24 mins 52 secs

Seven and a half hours to read six pages?

The presentation at Wakefield went very well; I reckon I made the important points to the people I needed to, and it seems that it might have helped to secure future funding for the project, and so I think I'll be invited to do more presentations in different parts of the country.

Additionally, I've just come back from the dentist's; my mouth is a bit sore, but I shouldn't have anything to worry about for six months now.

And finally...it seems that my mobile broadband is working properly again.

An early start this morning; I'll soon be setting off for the railway station, where I'll be picked up and taken to Wakefield where I'll be doing my presentation about the effects of long-term unemployment.

Since yesterday afternoon I've been having difficulty with receiving my mobile broadband signal; instead of placing my netbook computer wherever I like, at the moment, in order to access the web I'm having to stand next to the box window in the attic room with the modem's dongle precariously positioned on the highest part of the internal windowsill.

Big Mac Rd, - Lakeview, Arizona
Bingo Rd. - Sutherlin, Oregon
Cannibal Rd. - Loleta, California
Double Trouble Rd. - Toms River, New Jersey
Drunk Horse Ln. - Westcliffe, Oregon
Ego Ave. - Eastpointe, Missouri
Her Street - North Pole, Arkansas
HisWay - Bakersfield, California

This list is in alphabetical order and ends with 'H'. To see the rest of the list I would have had to buy the book online; which, of course, I didn't.

'would have had to buy' - this is a complicated combination of verbs. I'm interested in grammar but don't know how to properly describe it...there's an auxiliary verb used in the subjunctive mood, another auxiliary verb used in the perfect tense and an infinitive.

Certain women who are chairmen of companies or organisations like to be addressed as 'chair'; but female spokesmen never refer to themselves as 'spokes'.

I was watching something on Channel 4+1 last night and realised that the programmes weren't the same as Channel 5.

Earlier today there was a discussion on the radio about introducing lower speed limits in residential areas; reducing the maximum speed down to 20 mph, supposedly to cut the number of accidents.

I'm not sure that I'm convinced though: personally speaking, if a car is travelling quickly I'll stay on the pavement and let it pass, whereas if it's travelling at a slower speed I might be tempted to take a risk and cross before the car arrives...and then maybe stumble...or misjudge the distance.

People I can remember politicians and the media building up as villains:

Brian Clough
Geoffrey Boycott
Margaret Thatcher
General Galtieri
Arthur Scargill
Saddam Hussein
'Al Qaeda'
Paul Gascoigne
Osama bin Laden
'The Taliban'
Peter Mandelson
Robert Mugabe
Jane Goody
Britney Spears
Michael Jackson
Andrew Flintoff
Fred Goodwin
Carol Thatcher
Russell Brand
Jonathon Ross
Mark Thatcher
Jeffrey Archer
Richard Nixon
Amy Winehouse
Cllr. Winter - Mayor of Doncaster
'The IRA'
Nick Leeson

I suppose some really are villains; but many aren't.

The BBC news is reporting that teachers are rehearsing pupils sitting their foreign language oral tests. I'm assuming that these teachers must therefore know the questions in advance - maybe they themselves are even responsible for testing their own pupils...I don't know.

When I sat my French, German and Spanish 'O' Levels we had an external examiner come who would ask us questions about a picture which we only got to see a few minutes in advance. In my German exam I remember the picture was of a building site; I was struggling with the English terms for some of the specialist equipment - let alone the German equivalents.

Here are some jobs highlighted in the Sunday Times this morning:

Composting Supervisor
Toothbrush Advisor
Ceremonial Sword-Bearer
Breastfeeding Peer Support Co-ordinator
Falls Prevention Fitness Advisor
Bouncy Castle Attendant
Cheerleading Development Officer
Street Mediator
Roller Disco Coach
Street Football Co-ordinator

Kurd, in Hungary is the only place in the world that is situated less than a hundred miles from seven different countries.

The seven counties are:

Serbia
Slovakia
Slovenia
Austria
Bosnia & Herzogovina
Croatia
Romania

Going bald
Sweating too much
Dandruff
Dry skin
Erectile dysfunction
car insurance
Home insurance
Life insurance
A mortgage
A pension
Mobile phone ringtones
Laser eye surgery
Diet products
Writing a will
Contact lenses
Satellite or cable TV subscription packages
Games consoles
Having perfect teeth

The capital cities of Colombia, Bolivia and Ecuador have never reached a temperature of ninety degrees Fahrenheit. Although situated in the tropics, all three cities are located at high altitude.

Here in Doncaster the temperature reaches ninety degrees every few years.

The British climate is very benign, not too hot or cold with moderate amounts of rainfall throughout the year. However, many days are miserable and very disappointing - just like today: overcast, intermittent drizzle, cold and windy.

My ideal climate would have every day between seventy and seventy five degrees Fahrenheit with eighteen hours of daylight and all the rain falling at night...and no wind at all - I hate the wind.

Of course it's not possible, and the effects on plants and wildlife would be drastic, but it's good to have a dream.

I spent ten minutes there this morning waiting until four trains had passed on the busy East Coast Main Line, a few milesa south of Doncaster.

There can't be many busier locations in the country.

Today's twentieth anniversary commemoration ceremony of the Hillsborough disaster has got me around to thinking about other major news stories that happened in Yorkshire that I can remember.

Bradford City Valley Parade fire 1985
M62 IRA M62 bus bombing
1984-85 miners' strike
'Missing' Hull trawler 'Gaul'
Cod Wars
Yorkshire Ripper
Yorkshire floods 2007
Bradford riots
Selby rail crash

This morning I received a magazine with one of my poems in it, although the magazine seems to have been published last year.

The publication is called 'Horace' and I attempted to upload scans of the front cover and my poem onto my poetry blog but was unsuccessful: I'll have to try tomorrow at the library.

I've always known that I'd never marry and have children; all of my drive, ambition, energy and identity would be tied up in my career.

However...I've never had a job - so you can imagine how pissed off with the world I am.

Someone's just been speaking on TV about going on safari and how exciting it is when you see your first lion, tiger, elephant or giraffe. Well, wildlife doesn't really interest me; what I'd like to see would be my first erupting volcano or geyser, calving glacier, dinosaur fossil or lost city...I'll have to go on holiday some time though...sometime when I've got a few thousand Pounds to spare.

It's a bank holiday and so I'm only able to post from home and not also from the library.

The last time I checked though, the Guido Fawkes blog, which has been featuring a lot in the news recently, is blocked by the content filters at the library; apparently because the site is classified as an 'alternative news source.'

I'm right-handed, going grey, but I'll never be bald.
I still have most of my teeth and now wear glasses some of the time.
I have hairs growing all over my body; including my ears and nostrils.

Whenever I hear the ITV Champions' League theme I think the chorus is singing 'lasagna' rather than 'The Champions' - the two phrases shouldn't sound alike at all...but they do to me.

The TV news reported this morning about airports charging passengers £5 to jump to the front of the check-in queue. What happens when nearly everyone pays though? Surely, only one person at a time can be at the front?

I read this in the frozen food shop the other day:

‘Atlantic Catch – Whitefish Fillets. Ingredients: Alaskan Pollock.’

There’s something obviously wrong here; Alaska borders on the Pacific Ocean – it’s nowhere near the Atlantic.

Also, whilst I’m writing about pollock; a UK supermarket chain has decided to rename pollock as ‘colin’ because ‘pollock’ sounds rude and people are too embarrassed to say the word…and they’re not embarrassed about asking for a fish called ‘Colin?’

By the way, ‘colin’ is the French word for hake, not pollock.

A government report states that up to five percent of Pound coins are counterfeit and if we find any we should hand them in, without compensation. I don't think I'll be taking that advice; I recently had a Bailiwick of Jersey one Pound coin in my change and soon got rid of it at a shop by wedging it between two other coins when paying.

St. Mary's Abbey, York
Conisbrough Castle
Roche Abbey
Scarborough Castle
Bolton Abbey
Whitby Abbey
Howden Minster
Newport Arch, Lincoln

The banking union is saying that the news that nine thousand jobs are to be lost at RBS across the country as ‘devastating.’

I wonder what word their spokeswoman would have used when in the 1980s 30,000 jobs were lost in just a few months in the mining industry within walking distance of where I was living.

Bob Geldof
Bono
Madonna
Billy Bragg
Russell Brand
Jo Brand
Barrack Obama
Lilly Allen
Tiger Woods
Andy Murray
Lewis Hamilton

9/11 attacks - signing on at the jobcentre

Failed U.S rescue mission Iran 1979 - Sixth Form Common Room

Bradford Valley Parade fire and Hillsborough Stadium crush - walking at Monsal Head in the Peak District [I refuse to go to that specific location ever again, since the only two occasions I did go, there were disaaters at football grounds]

Heysel Stadium Disaster - watching it live on TV.

Sevreral civilisations or cultures have a valid claim to have actually discovered America before Columbus did in 1492.

I've been looking on a messageboard and here are the candidates:

The Romans
The Carthaginians
The Phoenicians
The Egyptians
West African Muslims
Basque fishermen
Irish monks
Vikings
A Scottish adventurer
A Welsh prince
The Chinese

A German history teacher - whenever she said 'we' and was talking about the war I never knew whether she meant the Allies or the Germans.

An elderly English teacher who was permanently sozzled - according tohis anecdotes he helped to liberate Paris, Rome and North Africa all at the same time.

A chemistry teacher who took 'glamour photographs' of many of the girls.

A young maths and French teacher who was having an affair with one of the girls.

A sadistic male P.E. teacher who would grab boys' testicles with his hockey stick.

A female P.E. teacher who enjoyed watching the boys in the showers.

Since Friday I've received four different junk emails telling me I've been sent a Valentine's card.

Why? Do they really think I'm going to open them?

So, the charity Save The Children is to start releasing funds in Britain because of child poverty – specifically, many children are not getting enough to eat…or are eating a poor diet.

Many politicians and commentators seem to be shocked and surprised; well I’m not – when I was doing my voluntary work nearly twenty years ago a woman fainted in the office because she’d not eaten for three days and I can recall someone walking fifteen miles there and back into town for a job interview because he couldn’t afford the bus fare.

These are just two examples.

I know I often write about how boring and unfulfilled my life is – but I’ve had my moments.

Here’s a list of some things I have done though:

Been mistaken for a terrorist while performing in a promenade production of a play.
Had a shotgun fired only a few inches above my head.
Had a pack of hounds set on me.
Abseiled down a cliff face.
Climbed up the brickwork of a high dam.
Climbed down a rope ladder into a deep cavern.
Completed two forty mile challenge walks.
Briefly formed my own political party.
Had my photograph on the front page of two local newspapers.
Been a poll tax rebel.
Been the licensee of a community radio station.

All of these events happened more than ten years ago though.

This short stretch of railway line doesn't seem to do much avoiding; I've only ever seen one train using it - yet it is an active line with all the infrastructure in place.

I've had an argumentative start to the day; first of all I had to tell a drug-addled beggar to piss off and leave me alone and then I had a row in a shop about their unclear pricing on the shelves.

That should be it for today though; once I've finished here in the library I'm going home and hope to spend most of the rest of the day listening to the cricket commentary on the radio.

Since I've been living in Doncaster, whenever I get on a bus travelling into the town I always ask the driver for 'town please' - unless I'm using a day or weekly ticket of course.

When I used to live in Thurnscoe I never did this because it would have been pointless, since 'town please' could refer to any one of three towns; Doncaster, Barnsley or Rotherham.

I suppose if you just asked for 'town please' on most occasions you would end up at your intended destination; however buses travelling between Barnsley and Doncaster take the same route around the largest estate in the village irrespective of which way they're heading and so passengers boarding the bus need to be careful.

Because of its geographical situation, very few people in Thurnscoe say "I'm travelling into town" because of the confusion this would cause. However, not being able to say that you're travelling into town gives a negative impression about local identity and belonging.

Goole [ghoul]
Thorne [thorn]
Marr [mar]
York [a cricketing term]
Leeds [leads]
Derby
Hope
Barking

That's the current price for mobile broadband on the 3 network, a third the price it was a few days ago.

I've only used just over 2GB since I got back online at the beginning of January; I've been careful with my usage, but since the price has come down so much I might now start downloading some video and audio files.

The G20 economic summit begins today in London and no doubt the politicians and their advisors will be spouting on about the evils of trade protectionism.

Free trade might well be better for world trade and the economies of individual countries; but protectionism is a good idea if it's your job, business or industry that's being protected.